The end of men

HexHammer wrote:

I belive some of the reason why woman are "in" these days lies partially in marketing and idolizing. Woman has many more choises to be promoted, specially as sexsymbols, where men can't be promoted to the same audience, when sexy men would be considerd gay and are a big nono to the general public.

Hmm, but there's no real gender-wide power in being a sex symbol. If anything, being promoted as a sex symbol could be considered detrimental to the gender at large as most women fall short of such ideals. Certainly it wouldn't translate into a hiring preference or a selection preference for children. I doubt anyone is thinking "I'd like to have a daughter so she can grow up to be a sex symbol".

Yes, but sex symbols were your main example. What other examples of promotion were you talking about? I just want to be sure I'm understanding your point.

So you're saying it's marketing of women above men in those roles? While I think it's certainly true that woman are showing up more in those roles publicly than they did before, I wouldn't go so far as to say they are being promoted in ways that men aren't.

I'd say that the end of entitlement actually means the beginning of men. I am not fearful of being evaluated on an equal plane. I think that many great men will do greater in an equal society.

The idea of a social handicap is only appealing to the mediocre, and they are just as threatened by great men as great women.

Is divorce tougher on boys than on girls?

A new study reports that adult men whose parents divorced before they were 18 are two to three times more likely to seriously consider taking their own lives than men whose parents were not divorced by that age.

Women whose parents divorced by age 18 were not affected as dramatically. They, too, thought about suicide more often than other women, but the thoughts were explained by other traumatic experiences they’d had, like childhood abuse.

Divorce might be expected to have a bigger overall impact on daughters than sons, since in general women tend to be more susceptible than men to depression and suicidal thoughts. But the findings were not a surprise to the study’s lead author, Dr. Esme Fuller-Thomson, a professor of family and community medicine at the University of Toronto in Ontario.

She noted that in most cases of divorce, at least until recently, mothers obtained custody of the children, and the lack of regular contact with a father may take a particular emotional and developmental toll on sons. “The loss of a male role model for the boys may seriously impact their well-being,” she said. “Other research has indicated a positive father figure is very important for young men and boys, to develop their gender identity and learn ways to regulate their emotions and enhance their mental health.”

To better understand what's going on, it's worth a crash course in "sexual economics," an approach best articulated by social psychologists Roy Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs. As Baumeister, Vohs, and others have repeatedly shown, on average, men want sex more than women do. Call it sexist, call it whatever you want—the evidence shows it's true. In one frequently cited study, attractive young researchers separately approached opposite-sex strangers on Florida State University's campus and proposed casual sex. Three-quarters of the men were game, but not one woman said yes. I know: Women love sex too. But research like this consistently demonstrates that men have a greater and far less discriminating appetite for it. As Baumeister and Vohs note, sex in consensual relationships therefore commences only when women decide it does.

And yet despite the fact that women are holding the sexual purse strings, they aren't asking for much in return these days—the market "price" of sex is currently very low. There are several likely reasons for this. One is the spread of pornography: Since high-speed digital porn gives men additional sexual options—more supply for his elevated demand—it takes some measure of price control away from women. The Pill lowered the cost as well. There are also, quite simply, fewer social constraints on sexual relationships than there once were. As a result, the sexual decisions of young women look more like those of men than they once did, at least when women are in their twenties. The price of sex is low, in other words, in part because its costs to women are lower than they used to be.
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And yet while young men's failures in life are not penalizing them in the bedroom, their sexual success may, ironically, be hindering their drive to achieve in life. Don't forget your Freud: Civilization is built on blocked, redirected, and channeled sexual impulse, because men will work for sex. Today's young men, however, seldom have to. As the authors of last year's book Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality put it, "Societies in which women have lots of autonomy and authority tend to be decidedly male-friendly, relaxed, tolerant, and plenty sexy." They're right. But then try getting men to do anything.

The New White House Social Secretary Is a Man

* Posted: February 25, 2011 at 2:03 PM
* By Noreen Malone

The White House has announced a new social secretary, and for the first time ever, it's a man: Jeremy Bernard, previously the senior advisor to the U.S.'s Parisian ambassador. Oo la la!

Bernard was an early supporter of Obama and a key fundraiser (a trait he shares with the two previous Obama social secretaries, Desiree Rogers and Julianna Smoot). The handsome, openly gay Texas native has an impressive and eclectic resume and a background in finance; he's also served on the President's Advisory Commision for the Kennedy Center during the Clinton presidency, and on several advisory boards for LGBTQ issues.

Bernard's selection comes after a mini-campaign for the Obamas to select a man for this historically female job. I argued that maybe until there are more women in key administration positions, we shouldn't be so eager to push for that. But I can't help cheering Bernard's selection, after all. It's fun to see gender norms like this one reversed, and just as I want to see women represented in key administration roles, I want to see openly gay members of an administration that's finally making gay rights more of a priority. I do feel a bit of a twinge that the selection does still play somewhat to stereoptype—women and gay men only can plan the parties!—but the position is far more than that, and I'm excited to see how Bernard puts his own stamp on it.

They’re hurting, these men of a certain age. Losing their livelihood isn’t the only “transition” they’re going through. Dr. Jed Diamond, author of Surviving Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome, calls it a “double whammy.” The first: “a change of life, hormonally based, affecting our psychology and emotions from 40 to 55.” The second: unemployment. “It’s devastating. The extreme reaction is suicide, but before you get there, there’s irritability and anger, fatigue, loss of energy, withdrawal, drinking, more fights with their wives.”

And sex. Or lack thereof. In the NEWSWEEK Poll, 45 percent of men admitted to a diminished interest in sex. It’s a vicious cycle, Diamond says. “You don’t feel as manly because you lost your job. You don’t feel as sexy, so there are more problems with you and your wife.”

Intellectually, women can say, “It’s not his fault, he’s working hard to find a job.” Emotionally, it’s another story. This is a generation caught between two ideas of manhood, says Coontz: “Old enough to have been brought up with a model of male breadwinning. Young enough to feel they shouldn’t be threatened if their wife has a job.”

When downward mobility is being disguised, it’s often by the wife. UCLA sociologist Jennie Brand studies the life trajectories of “socioeconomically disadvantaged populations,” which now includes white males. When people lose jobs, she finds upticks in depression and declines in social participation. Others have found divorce—as well as a transfer to kids, whose report cards suffer. “Everything I’ve done so far suggests that there will be long-term ramifications,” says Brand. “Not only in two or three years, but 10 years from now we’ll be dealing with the effects of this recession.” John Wells, whose acclaimed drama The Company Men is about four BWMs laid off by a Boston manufacturing firm, calls it a “lost decade.”