Ha! Reminds me of this gem by Shel Silverstein:
Nobody loves me,
Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy and Cokes,
Nobody listens and laughs at me jokes.
Nobody helps when I get in a fight,
Nobody does all my homework at night.
Nobody misses me,
Nobody thinks I'm a wonderful guy.
So if you ask me who's my best friend, in a whiz,
I'll stand up and tell you that Nobody
But yesterday night I got quite a scare,
I woke up and Nobody just wasn't there
I called out and reached out for Nobody's hand,
In the darkness where Nobody usually stands.
Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook,
But I found somebody
each place that I looked.
I searched till I'm tired, and now with the dawn,
There's no doubt about it--