do mens sex drives decrease?

I'm curious how you found time for sex every night with a 1-4 month old in the house.

I can think of a lot of couples that would be grateful to hear how you were able to have a baby that young and find that much time for sex.

lol, my 6 month old baby sleeps through the night he has since he was 6 weeks old and like i said its a 5minute thing usually, i would be concerned if people have issues understanding how i can find 5 minutes of fun with my boyfriend!

Hmm, a couple of possibilities there

For a lot of people, having a partner who's libido outpaces your own can kill a good thing. Its almost as if there's a "perfect-rate" of having sex that couples find and if one outpaces another too much, they'll burn the other out. Its possible that the frequency of encounters you want is simply far more than he wants. No mater how good you or "it" is, play your favorite song too much, too often and you'll want to avoid it.

Also at play there (it sounds) is what appears to be a desire on his part for variety. For some people, having a variety of sexual stimulation is just a phase - while for others its a regular need. For those who don't resolve this, they go from partner to partner and have severe difficulties settling down. If this is the case, the only way to find out is to get to know him more thoroughly - and that's up to you.

I wouldn't push, prod, guilt or try and cajole him. Be available and as difficult as it may be - you may want to let him come to you, else you run the risk of fostering resentment for what he might perceive as 'pressure'. There's a push-me-pull-me at work in sexual relationships, I believe, where the more one pushes past their mate's ideal rate, the more the other will pull away. If and until they both find their common ground, its going to be frustrating

Patience and lots of communication (talking, not arguing or guilting) is definitely indicated

Try to go away for the weekend. Even low cost camping, if needed.

No baby, no TV, no sexy underwear, no work.

If he still does not respond, dump him.

Howdy there MissApril. First of all let me say that I appreciate (and I'm gonna take your word for it all in a somewhat general way, at first here) your honesty here...and your willingness to express your libido level. (if my little lady could just get some of that...we'd be out in mountain hot springs every second night).

Then, in addition to what Khethil has mentioned above (also possible scenarios for his condition), and regarding the connection between the areas in bold, above, I'll say this. This looks like a possible case of porn addiction. It can, and does, happen; and it tends to kill actual drive for active ('real thing') sex. It is a general fact that masturbation is usually less energy consuming than active sex, and the visual lure (which is slightly more of a male thing, than female) is captivating--making it easier to get addicted to. (and the producers try to keep it that way, because that's one sales point)


If I were to offer any suggestion (and please do not take this as professional advice in any way [although I have, and am, studying in this general area of sexology]) I would suggest that honest, specific and detailed communication lines should be opened more between you two. Without really putting any pressure, or being too directly (mental agility will be needed), it might be good to express your emotional loss due to not being as fulfilled (as a woman) as you feel you should be. Also (and again, in a good way...smooth and loving) it might work to try to get him to see the possibility of his being addicted to porn, and getting him to acknowledge that such may be the case. Having done that, and with his seeing that the porn might be getting in the way of a real 'eros' release with the love for his partner (you), it may be easier to talk him into forcing himself to stop watching porn. That, along with your heartfelt attention towards helping him do that, may be able to get him to cut down on masturbation as well. (1)

In your sexual contact and activity, give talking about your and his fantasies a soft, introductory try. (although in new relationships, it's usually not so needed) Masturbation is a fantasy expression, try to see if you can work it out so that he at least fantasizes during sexual contact with you (and understand that you too, will have fantasies to play out mentally) only.

These may help, but of course, one thing I can say for sure; there are many, many variables which come into play in such matters, and we here have almost NO knowledge of the hard-core facts (no pun intended) so can only take general pot-shots in the dark, towards trying to improve your love and sex life. I do wish you two, and your family, the best !!!

KJ

1. It may also be helpful to find some of the softer porn which lends itself towards the female audience a bit, and watch some together (ONLY SOME...do not over do it) and enjoy the connection along with that. There is one company (the name slips me at the moment, but I'll try to check it out and get back here) which deals in material to help couples' sexual relationships. (especially those in mid-life, or over, relationships, but it'd be useful for all, I think)

Me, I think Ms April is a jerk off.