I read body language fine. It's the awareness of how my actions are perceived by/affects others that's my weakness.
You are so smart except for this perception stuff. In many ways, I admire you, not least for your honesty. You're not a bad writer either, and I think you should be writing a diary. Well, never mind should, but that you could.
Can you connect, even in a clinic (I use clinics in the u.s.) to an asperger's program at a major university? Please check that out. I think you are working into functional in routine life, but that you might be able to jump past that from your ability to observe, however mistaken at times.
Thanks. I have a xanga. Really, how could I avoid doing bad things if I don't even know I'm doing them? How could I know the seriousness of what I did when I don’t be aware I did anything bad at all? That’s y whenever I get consequences, I thought they were too much for the crime at hand. The moment ppl tell me what I did, I automatically assume it’s mild. Then some times later, they tell me it’s not mild at all and then I know.
For those that don't know, Xanga is social networking site - much like FB.
I just have a question. On April Fool's day I joked around about ringing up 100 sausage biscuits for the kitchen ppl to make (as some sort of a prank.) It wasn’t busy and there was no other orders. My boss said if I really did that, I’d be sent home and won’t get my schedule for the following week. Then I knew it was a serious offense. Which would be worse infraction though? That (which I didn’t do btw) or embarrassing my boss in front of customers (which actually happened?)
Neither would be acceptable in the workplace.
Really, how could I avoid doing bad things if I don't even know I'm doing them?
this is really fairly simple
is what you are doing part of your job duties? if not, it's likely to be some kind of mistake
do your job. nothing else.
try to remember that your co-workers are, for the most part, not your friends. They are co-workers. Do your job. Make sure that the way you do your job does not make it more difficult for others to do their job.
do your job. stay focused on that.
so ur saying they're the same. Neither is better or worse than the other.
don't concentrate on which is worse, they are both unacceptable behaviour at work
ok. That **** ain't never gon happen again, esp at BK lol. "Have it your way." *drools*
a2k should certainly start having personal journals, like other forum site. Since it don't, I'll just hijack my own thread to start my journal. It's not directed at anybody but feel free to comment.
Yesterday, I asked a friend about her job at Cracker n Barrels from several years ago. That was the only entry level job she's had b4 she graduated college and became a nurse. Since she knows alot about everything and I know practically nothing, I asked her what would happen if someone went in there on her day off and started yelling at her boss on a busy day.
"She's prolly get fired for making a scene."
"Well," I replied. "I prolly wouldn't wanna work there then." I thought of how lucky I was to keep my job at McD's bc I did the exact same thing. Maybe McD's have a less stringent policy (turned out not to be true. They're notorious for canning over every little thing.) I still ended up quitting bc coworkers who saw this incident treated me differently from that day even though they didn't ignore me.
Then she said, "It's pretty much the same all across the board, not just at Cracker n Barrel." It's like getting drunk at work. No place would let anyone keep working like that. escapistmagazine.com confirmed it. Perhaps that means any other McD's would also can ppl for that ****.
wow. And I thought I could do that **** and be better off at certain places.
btw, the mgr who canned me from Wal-Mart, he recently got canned as well. I've been praying for that day for a long time. But that's another entry.
DD, if you owned a business would you let your employees yell at you? Would you let them yell at other managers? Would you consider this acceptable employee behavior in front of customers? Do you think customers would find this a comfortable thing to witness?
I definitely wouldn't like that. If it happened, I'd consider them loose cannon and just fire them to be on the safe side. If I don't there's no telling when there will be the next incident and I could lose some dough.
Dirty - I think you need to consider starting some kind of business yourself.
You just don't fit into the "mold" for the jobs you are doing. Too structured and no sense of humor for a free spirit person like you.
I really don't think you are a "people person". Required social interaction and structure really throws you.
Is there something you could do to earn money while being your own boss?
If I behave myself I could. The only reason I screw up is misbehaving and doing bad things. I might actually get that job tomorrow. They told me to wear balck pants and non-slid shoes to the interview, so I could be prepared for orientation that afternoon.
I believe I have improved quite a bit during the last year and a half. Before, when I had anger problems, I used to purposely do bad things either with malice or as an anger outlet. However, for the last year and a half, the only bad things I do are those I’m NOT aware of. That’s how I lasted over a year at my last job. Sometimes, I still struggle with the thought that it might not be fair to punish anyone for accidentally doing bad things, even though it is.
I really didn’t mean to yell at my boss. I wasn’t aware I was making a scene. I still got consequences as if I did it on purpose. I understand the formal punishment part. That’s the only way I could learn. However, when my boss kept me at a distance but still joked around with everyone else, that’s what I didn’t understand. I do now. What I can’t understand is why coworkers who witnessed the incident treated me differently. Those who didn’t see it are the only ones who treated me normal.
If I’m not aware of doing bad things, then it’s hard to be aware how serious it is. When ppl told me I did something bad, I automatically assume it was mild, since I wasn’t aware. It’s only when people tell me how serious it is, then I know. Making a scene in a crowded store is the most serious of all my infractions there. That’s y my boss didn’t delete me from facebook or punish me as badly over previous infractions. Usually, things got resolved between us in a day or 2. When I made a scene, however, weeks passed and she still cold-shouldered me.
People on CC don’t seem to believe that I didn’t do it on purpose. They said I yelled at her publicly bc I didn’t get my way. Are most of us aware when we make a huge scene? If so, then I must be really stupid.
Your "anger problem" seems to be more of an impulsive behavior problem that learning some management skills will help tame. They appear to be two sides of a similar coin.
What is the definition of anger management?
Anger management does not involve getting rid of all anger, but using anger to enhance your life. We can look at the purposes of anger in both a positive and negative light. The positive aspects of anger are that you have increased energy, are able to communicate your feelings, able to problem solve and can take charge of the situation. The negative aspects of anger are that you can have disruption of your thinking, unnecessarily defend yourself, become aggressive and become known as an angry person. Anger management would be seen then as increasing the positive aspects or functions of anger and decreasing the negative functions of anger.
An act performed without delay, reflection, voluntary direction or obvious control in response to a stimulus.
You might find this article of interest. It is a guideline for educators and gets a bit clinical in places, but I think you'd get some good info from it:
Behavior Management: Getting to the Bottom of Social Skills Deficits
I thought this suggestion was a good one for you, and easy to remember:
Either a systematic behavioral approach or self-management techniques may be helpful, depending on the student, the situation, and the interfering behavior. For the distractible student, self-monitoring and charting of attention or work completed may be helpful. Students who are impulsive can learn problem solving strategies which force them to dissect problems and evaluate possible consequences. Bos and Vaughn (1994) recommended a strategy called FAST for this purpose.
The steps in FAST are:
1. Freeze and think! What is the problem?
2. Alternatives? What are my possible solutions?
3. Solution evaluation. Choose the best solution: safe? fair?
4. Try it! Slowly and carefully. Does it work?
So, anytime you feel the impulse to react to something, think FAST to try and slow yourself down a bit so you can think it through to conclusion and any consequences before acting on that impulse, especially if it is an angry impulse.
Thank you. That exactly describes me.
I get the job and BK gives benefits, but it comes at a price. At your job, what kind of boss do you have? At my new job, it's very different from my old one. During the interview, she brought up she "got rid of all the misfits." She also mentioned people who lasted only a week before they got canned. A week is too short to judge anyone, IMHO. During orientation, her assistant is ever meaner. She'd write people up for not having their shirt tucked in. "And if you get a write up 3 times for the exact same thing, guess who'll be promoted to a guest." Another thing that came out of her: "I'm not mean like most people think." If anyone have to say that, chances are, they are that mean. Are hard asses generally good for people or are people more productive when their boss is easier on them? Oh and my fav: "Anyone who don't wanna learn is welcome to leave." *few seconds pause.*
And that's a good thing bc it'll keep me out of trouble. I won't be making any scenes there.