Living in a home with 3 different family units, one being abusive to their child...

Reply Fri 23 Jul, 2010 01:20 pm
Well yeah then- if you think she's a lost cause, maybe she is - only you can know the situation. If it's as you describe - I think the recording (video and audio) is a good idea - but how do you do that without them knowing?

For me, the next time I heard the child being abused - I'd be banging on the door and saying 'That's not right - you can't do that to him...' or maybe I would call the police to report a 'disturbance of the peace' and have them show up to witness it - anything to to make them stop the abuse at that moment.
This strategizing and thinking 'what will they do if I do this?' - is prolonging his suffering.

I thought you said your mom said to leave it be - has she talked to your sister about it?
Also, how can you live in the same building with your nephew and not have enough contact with him to see whether or not he has bruising? If they're keeping him away from other people - that right there would make me feel that it's even more imperative to do something immediately. Why would they keep your nephew away from you unless they were afraid of you seeing something?

Yeah - you need to do something now for this little boy.

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Reply Fri 23 Jul, 2010 02:12 pm
Dys, you're talking about the response of the CPS. I'M talking about what she ASKED about - what SHE should do. That's all she can control - what she does. She doesn't like what's going on, she suspects there's abuse involved, so she's asking for advice on what to do. That's what I gave her - MY advice about what SHE should, in good conscience, do.

What the CPS or other authorities do is up to them and she has no control over it. They may or may not take it seriously. They may or may not investigate. But that wasn't the question.

My daughter is a social worker here in Canada, and in her jurisdiction they take every call seriously. If the story they get sounds like this one, they'd be out there the same day to investigate. With a police officer (it's the rules there).

And you can think my advice is 'knee-jerk' but I can't understand how you could. This is a little boy, a 2 yr old, for heaven's sake, unable to defend himself who has been heard being yelled at with suspected physical trauma. Are you nuts? Of course she has to report it!

I don't think she needs EVIDENCE, either. Here in Canada, you just need a suspicion, and if she's heard it, that's enough. If you wait for EVIDENCE, the child could be dead. How would you like that on your conscience? Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?

And I'm sure the CPS wouldn't take the child away for just being screamed at. I'm sure they'd ask others during an investigation - friends, family, neighbours - not to mention having a good look at the child himself.
Reply Fri 23 Jul, 2010 03:46 pm
well, again I can't respond re canada and I did say for her to call/report to CPS. now some perspective. I worked in a large city, we had 9 CPS workers, we got from 300 to 400 calls every day. given the information presented opening this thread, her call would be logged as "No Followup" because yelling at a kid would in no way be considered child abuse by the court. to say that she heard a child being hit, her sisters child, who lived in the same building/house but not seen any evidence of such would not be considered for response without further evidence. again I did say to call/report mainly to log it by CPS for future cause, (a supporting call) which would elicit a response. child protection laws in the USA are quite restrictive as traditional law (not only the US but virtually the world) regards children as property of their parents. I am not defending this position, I am simply stating it for what it is. Child protection in the USA is, at its very best, triage. there is no room for morality in triage.
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Reply Fri 23 Jul, 2010 04:45 pm
US Federal legislation lays the groundwork for States by identifying a minimum set of acts or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), (42 U.S.C.A. ยง5106g), as amended by the Keeping Children and Families Safe Act of 2003, defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:

* Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or
* An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.
compared to equivalent canadian law;

Health Canada, Child Maltreatment Section states "Child maltreatment can be categorized into several broad types including physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect/failure to provide, and emotional maltreatment.

Physical abuse (child abuse) is the deliberate application of force to any part of a child's body, which results or may result in a non-accidental injury. Physical abuse may include shaking, choking, biting, kicking, burning, poisoning, holding a child under water, or any other harmful or dangerous use of force or restraint. Most child physical abuse is associated with physical punishment or is confused with child discipline.

Sexual abuse (child abuse) occurs when an adult or youth uses a child for sexual purposes. Sexual abuse includes fondling, intercourse, incest, sodomy, exhibitionism, and commercial exploitation through prostitution or the production of pornographic materials.

Neglect/failure to provide (child abuse)occurs when a child's parents or caregivers do not provide the requisite attention to the child's emotional, psychological, or physical development.

Emotional maltreatment (child abuse) involves acts or omissions by parents or caregivers that cause or could cause serious behavioural, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders. Emotional maltreatment can include verbal threats, socially isolating a child, intimidation, exploitation, terrorizing, or routinely making unreasonable demands on a child."

in addition to US Federal law, individual states all have their own childrens code defining child abuse/neglect.
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Reply Fri 23 Jul, 2010 05:23 pm
This poor child is living in a house with a bunch of chickenshits. Somebody should do something and yelling back at this pathetic family would only frighten the kid more. Nobody should tolerate a screaming insane couple who is abusive to a child. It's even difficult to imagine that this story is true. Assuming it is, why don't you ask yourself, "Why is it I don't know what to do?" Is this the way you were brought up by this "grandmother?"
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Reply Sat 24 Jul, 2010 07:16 am
I think it's important to call even if CPS doesn't investigate.

The next time someone calls CPS on them there will already be a complaint on file.

Or if they show up in the ER they'll find that someone has already suspected abuse.

I think that this poster should try to start spending some time with the kid -- maybe giving the parents a break would help to change things. Building a solid, trusting relationship with the kid would allow her to advocate for him/her much more effectively.
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