Should you know if he/she is the "one" after 3 years?

Lots of sane and salient points made by all.

Just wanted to add if you did do the ultimatum and he did say yes, you'd be no more certain of the future than you are now. Marriage isn't binding. Love is (and I'm not talking about the fireworks insanity drunken monkey sex love either).

Agreeing with msolga.

Oh damn & botheration!

That sounded interesting!

Please excuse my (above) flippant comment.
I think I may be in a silly frame of mind today.
Apologies.

Please continue now ...

3 years, yearh then you should have made up if he's the 1 or not, and you sound very much in doubt about him.

I am not sensing any passion? Is there any passion? If not then there is no point, move on.