Bekaboo wrote: I am very much in favour of belonging to someone when I'm married (*waits for teh feminist onslaught*)
Awww...sweet, i think... i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one that thinks that has a kinda romantic ring to it... i'm
really the one in charge, of course; but as far as names go, when we get married, i'm all for "belonging" to my husband
Hehe exactly: I'm near on 6 foot - i've never really been looked after all that much: despite being possibly the most affectionate person i know. I
like people being possessive of me!! Even if I do stay in charge
maybe it is a height thing!! i'm 5'10" plus...
I didn't change my name when I married - because although my husband had the nicer-sounding, easier to spell last name, it didn't flow with my first name as well as my own. My first name with his last name sounded like a stranger to me, and I didn't think I could ever get used to hearing it and "feeling" like that person. He didn't care at all. He said, "I fell in love with Aidan _______, I don't even know who Aidan ________ is". So I kept my own last name.
Depending on where we live, it becomes more or less of an issue. In NJ, they put him on my health insurance no questions asked, in Maine, he had to show them our marriage license before they would believe I was his spouse. Same thing here in England. My son started school in Maine, and I asked him if he'd like me to have the same last name as him, he said it didn't matter. When my daughter started school, she said she'd like me to- but I never officially changed it, I just called myself, Mrs. _______, which was true in my mind. I was married to Mr. _________. If I'm dealing with a particularly conservative crowd I call myself Aidan ________-________ with my husband's name last - just because I don't want to have to explain it all. I just don't feel like I should have to answer or explain to people who won't even try to understand a differing viewpoint.
It had absolutely nothing to do with feminism in my case, although I do have a friend who kept her last name, gave her son her husband's last name and gave her daughter her last name. I have friends who have changed their names completely, first and last, for no other reason than that they don't like the one they were given. For instance "Muriel" became "Cameron" and she took the opportunity to create and attach a last name that flowed with it. Some people really identify with their name (I do) and others just don't care. When it comes to names, I say to each his own ( I just realized I say that about most things. :wink:)
When my fiance and I marry, we plan to have a new last name... we want to belong to each other, but he doesn't want me to have to taken on *his* name and I don't want him to have mine (it's boring, I don't want to keep it).
so.. we're just going to create a new one, and start the new chapter of our lives together
