@dyslexia,
Now I understand why you are the cranky, sarcastic bastard you are.
You havent learned the first rule of having pets, especially cats.
Dogs have masters, and will do almost anything their owners want them to do.
Cats have staff, and will only do what they want to do, and you will do anything they want you to do.
Once you learn that, you will be a much happier person.