husband of 57 years old having an affair with a 22 years old escort girl

My husband and I are going through hell since Nov 09. He is 57 and we found out that he has Erection Dysfunction hence for the last 2 years we've barely been intimate. I didnot want to talk about it as I thought it would make him feel bad and he kinda was OK that we would not talk bout that too, or so I thought. He is a very good man, a good husband, a good father and has always been very loving and affectionate, however during that past 2 years I was kind of a little on the reserve side and slightly awkward with our situation. around September 09 he was slightly different, would come from work late, or would go party with him team and once didnt even come home said he got drunk and would just crash in a hotel, he provided the name and all of course.(for all the years we have been together 10yrs... he has been a social drinker and a non smoker).. .. However there was some tension building between us and again I just sort of just ignore it.. pride, ego? I dont know .. but I know today that was a big mistake.. so afterwards, I found from his business bank account that he registered for VIP Adult Friendfinder.. so I asked and comfronted he didnt say anything just blushed.. and said oh its justsome stupid action .. wont do it again... then I found out he was going to a gogo club on a daily basis spending between $500 to $1000.. Ok he is a senior PM and makes good money..but he has to work very hard to earn that money. sometimes 90hrs/week.. so I got upset and asked him again.. he blabered an said his friends got him going but he will stop.. and he came and apologies to me.,, and I called him liar... cheater etc.... life was really stressful so I decided I will go home (my home country) for a few weeks and that will give us a break and go from there.. MY BIGGEST MISTAKE... he found an escort girl he said somewhere in a bar in Perth Amboy..what was he doing there am not sure.. as it is out of the way from us... but he met that girl and he said he flirted with her (he told me that later. ..) and he fell in love with her on first sight as she was very tall 6'1 he is 6'3 and she is so skinny/slender that is what he told me.. I am 5'3 and sort of curvy.... she told him that her brother forced her to be in the 'business' she has 3 children and that she was 24...etc.. she needs help.. so he went to the prosecutor and filed against the brother.. then she came and asked him to remove the complain.. as it is her brother after all.. and he has tough time understanding her as she speaks little english she is from Dominican republic.. she said her children need food. so he would take her to the grocery shopping and since it was winter of course they needed warm clothing.. and they didnot have a heater.. so he provided.. and in return he would spend all evening with her till 3 am as she works in a bar... so finally I told him what he want.. and he said he is confused.. he loves me but is attracted to her physiques and her spontaneity and the way she makes him feel.. he said no sex involved. but then I found an email he wrote her and left open on the pc while he was trying to translate his email from english to spanish.. so yes they did have sex ... and he was pretty descriptive of what he enjoyed the much and how it was..!! I showed him the email and he acknowledged and apologised and said it is over.. but nope after 2 weeks I found out it is not.. then he became insensitive and didnt care.. on Christmas 09 he left the house with his bags.. he found an apat and they moved in.. he kept texting me... coz apparently hefound out she lied to him.. there were no children.. no brother was forcing her... she was only 21.. she turned 22 in March 2010...and he also found that she was selling drugs.. he got scared with that . so he kicked her out. and came back home.. by then he already squandered all of our savings... and he also lost his job... so he was broke no penny... I took over with whatever little I had from my salary...and he said he was sorry and he wants to make marriage works... I said Ok.... then after 3 weeks I find out she is calling him and he is hiding it.. so agian I comfront him.. we started fightng.. and he said.. it is over done done. it was just like a friend phone call.. please.. believe me he said. OK.. here we go agian... re work on the marriage and pouff!! she needs his help to get her mother from airport.. and he was gone.. I was waiting for him.called and called.. he was avoiding to respond and finally when he did, he sounded funny.. I just knew something was not right.. and of course it was not.. so he came back and we talked and I said enough is enough. he said oh she loves me so much. she said she is willing to change and be monogamous and spend her life with me. . I said if that is what you want please leave! and I am moving on.. off he ran.. took the bike and to the bar.. but surprise.. she ignores him.. he told her that I am divorcing him.. she said great.. thats it. and left.. he came back home.. and said she is ignoring me.. I kept quiet.. is he blind. why would I want to know.. he stomped all over me.. treated my like a rag.. now what.. well anyway he kept on calling and she ignored him and finally she told him to get a life and leave her alone ... so he comes back to me and said it is over, whole thing is a mess.. please we have something special lets please work on it.. I said well.. I am going ahead and moving out..find yourself, fix yourself and know what you want then we will talk.. OK.. he wrote me a long email.. explaining how special I was, how much he loves me.. he has just been messed up and tempted with a young girl who flattered his ego and make him feel young... he sounded so honest.. sincere.. and I guess he was at that specific time.. but I had my reserve and told him why do I feel that in 3 or 5 weeks this will start all over again.. he said oh NO.. am not a fool.. what is there? she likes her lifestyle.. she is poison to me.. all the good thing I want to hear. and guess what she contacted him again.. and he tells me he is tempted.. so I shut all contact with him asking him to decide waht he wants and where he wants to be... but I feel so depressed.. I dont know how to manage my life itself.. there is one sentence which comes over and over in my head... he said u r the casualty of my loving you and another... I love you yet am tempted and attracted to her and I am fond of her.. what does that mean.. does he wants me to accept her as 'part' of the family????