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Thu 18 Oct, 2007 04:36 pm
Have a laugh and relax................................
George Carlin Speaks Out...
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.
I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.
I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut up already.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation of the world for the next four years.
@mlurp,
Hitler and Saddam escape from Hell and return to Earth. The US media immediately confronts them, and asks Hitler, "What will you do now, Hitler?" Hitler says, "Well......I'll probably kill 100 Jews and one ballarina." The media asks, "Why the ballarina?" Hitler looks at Saddam and says, "See....I told you they don't care about the Jews.":headbang:
@Pinochet73,
Pinochet73;43404 wrote:Hitler and Saddam escape from Hell and return to Earth. The US media immediately confronts them, and asks Hitler, "What will you do now, Hitler?" Hitler says, "Well......I'll probably kill 100 Jews and one ballarina." The media asks, "Why the ballarina?" Hitler looks at Saddam and says, "See....I told you they don't care about the Jews.":headbang:
Not funny, and in very bad taste.
No one, that we know of, has escaped from Hell....so the joke is ridiculous on its' face.
@aaronssongs,
aaronssongs;43408 wrote:Not funny, and in very bad taste.
No one, that we know of, has escaped from Hell....so the joke is ridiculous on its' face.
Just stop commenting in the humor section if you intend to be a pretentious prick. You never post anything humorous.
@Freeman15,
Freeman15;43453 wrote:Just stop commenting in the humor section if you intend to be a pretentious prick. You never post anything humorous.
Excuse me...but if you can't reel in your emotions and get your point across without being insulting or crass, I will ask the moderators to do it for you.
And since you don't run anything around here, I'll comment when and where I see fit....arrogance just seems to be your modus operandi, ne c'est pas?
@aaronssongs,
aaronssongs;43461 wrote:Excuse me...but if you can't reel in your emotions and get your point across without being insulting or crass, I will ask the moderators to do it for you.
And since you don't run anything around here, I'll comment when and where I see fit....arrogance just seems to be your modus operandi, ne c'est pas?
I wasn't insulting at all, I was simply giving you friendly advice.
This is a humor section, yet I never see you post a joke, or funny picture. You seem to spend most of your time demeaning other posters for actually having a sense of humor. Get over yourself.
@Freeman15,
Freeman15;43493 wrote:I wasn't insulting at all, I was simply giving you friendly advice.
This is a humor section, yet I never see you post a joke, or funny picture. You seem to spend most of your time demeaning other posters for actually having a sense of humor. Get over yourself.
[SIZE="7"]
pretentious prick[/SIZE]
I found that reference insulting...and if you go there again, I'll be reporting you.
Give advice, only if it's asked for, which it wasn't, and certainly, not from the likes of "you".
If you post another "joke" that is in poor taste, I'll be calling you on it...count on it...you get over yourself, M.T.( if you want to know what it means, PM me)
@aaronssongs,
aaronssongs;43497 wrote:[SIZE="7"]pretentious prick[/SIZE]
I found that reference insulting...and if you go there again, I'll be reporting you.
Give advice, only if it's asked for, which it wasn't, and certainly, not from the likes of "you".
If you post another "joke" that is in poor taste, I'll be calling you on it...count on it...you get over yourself, M.T.( if you want to know what it means, PM me)
I didn't call you a pretentious prick, I said "if you intend on being a pretentious prick". Go ahead and report me, I did nothing wrong.
@Freeman15,
Freeman15;43502 wrote:I didn't call you a pretentious prick, I said "if you intend on being a pretentious prick". Go ahead and report me, I did nothing wrong.
Don't play semantics with me...in fact, don't play with me, at all.
Yeah, you never do nothing wrong, sporty.
@aaronssongs,
aaronssongs;43461 wrote:Excuse me...but if you can't reel in your emotions and get your point across without being insulting or crass, I will ask the moderators to do it for you.
And since you don't run anything around here, I'll comment when and where I see fit....arrogance just seems to be your modus operandi, ne c'est pas?
Don't describe yourself so harshly. You might hurt your own feelings.

:FU1:
@mlurp,
Yeah...the joke does suck, but I liked it at first. Somehow, it became unfunny in translation.
@Pinochet73,
Pinochet73;43720 wrote:Don't describe yourself so harshly. You might hurt your own feelings.

:FU1:
You don't even understand what you wrote, so I'll just ignore it...
Your attention demands are increasing.
@mlurp,
jesus christ, we can't even have a joke thread any more.
:locked: