Canterbury tales tome
Air freshener.
Train ticket
Uruguay map
I am carrying a huge Canterbury Tales tome
And an air freshener for my home.
Just buy me a train ticket to paradise, old chap,
And a Uruguay map.
Remember Drom the clerihew rules, it must be visibly unscanning!
mobile phone
hibiscus tea
a copy of the Book of Common Prayer
toffee
A shortwave radio
Baudelaire's corpse
Tutu
A statue of Larkin.
A shortwave radio with an elegant antenna
Sat atop Baudelaire's corpse and anointed it with Indian henna.
My tutu flamed up as the day was dawning
So the statue of Larkin had to be displayed wearing deepest mourning.
kitchen scissors
book of fables
tarot cards
purple scarf
Kitchen scissors are an often useful tool;
Take them to a book of fables, though, and you're a fool.
But can their points well to tarot cards embrace-
Be warned, purple scarf wearer; if you do this in public, enthusiasts don't show grace.
Rosé wine
A Hindi dictionary
Pond
Ostrich.
Rosé wine
A Hindi dictionary
Pond
Ostrich.
A glass of souring rosé wine stood by her bed;
A Hindi dictionary propped up her head;
Out in the pond, electric eels swam, tangled, blue
Among her pines no owl, no ostrich flew.
postcard
glass turnip
toast rack
mandala
'Oh! Heavens! A postcard from Your Grace'
The servants cried. 'With a glass turnip he seems to have incited race
Hatred! The prison warders say that after a débâcle involving a toast rack,
KJ jelly and a sacred mandala, he's not coming back.'
Dredyl
Frankfurters
Knackered van
Emu.
The tasteless and gaudy dreydel, picked from a catalogue,
Was, with some frankfurters, mistakenly eaten by the dog.
A knackered van
Contained an emu and a very sinister policeman.
opal ring
vegetarian
jack of diamonds
bathmat
opal ring,vegetarian,jack of diamonds, bathmat
I love to have an opal ring
And think that I could be in the vegetarian scene
The Jack of Diamonds could be seen on that hat
With other Diamonds on the lady's bath mat
snow
icicle
crystals
sleet
snow
icicle
crystals
sleet
A snow drift covered my bicycle
And hanging from the handlebars was an icicle.
Far away I could hear crystals tinkling and ringing
And then the sleet started, stinging.
horseshoe
wok
earthworm
insurance salesman
'Horseshoes are lucky,' said that advert tram
That I perused over a wok, whilst on the lam.
Earthworms, building out from ground to ground at dawn,
And pale insurance salesman makes me yawn.
Fireplace
Urn
Cauliflower
Gemstone.
Fireplace
Urn
Cauliflower
Gemstone.
In the fireplace I built a stack of ash logs
And placed your ash-filled urn next to the firedogs.
A pause to remember cauliflower curry from last night.
Turquoise is my birth month gemstone, right?
gardenia
soap
eau de Javel
10 Euro note
There's gardenia in My Eden, I should hope
Along with a black hut, a bar of soap
Some eau de javel for the morning, a dilapidated boat:
I bought it all in Hungary with a ten euro note.
Molehill
Orange highlighter pen
Bottle of flavoured mineral water
Sylvia Plath
Molehill
Orange highlighter pen
Bottle of flavoured mineral water
Sylvia Plath
On top of a molehill then
I found the orange highlighter pen.
I told my fortune with a bottle of flavoured mineral water
And it said Sylvia Plath was my daughter.
fiddlestick
piano tuner
clarinet case
harmonica
LOL!
Egg-timer
Awful novelty bookend
Page-a-day diary
Toilet duck™ cleaner
An elegant egg-timer
Replaced my awful novelty bookend to hold up my Latin primer.
My page-a-day-diary, though, I've mislaid, oh f**k Lena*!
It was just here, under the blue neck of the toilet duck cleaner.
*Lena the Filipina domestic
Maid
Loaf
Dais
Peat
Shower gel
Lava lamp
Imaginary enemy
Musty copies of La Repubblica
Shower gel, shower gel,
Lava lamp and silver bell;
An imaginary enemy is climbing the walls
Musty copies of La Repubblica are climbing the walls.
Jacques Brel
Jacques Cousteau
Jack the Ripper
Jack Straw
Rowing in Eden, to Jacques Brel's jingly song
Jacques Cousteau and Sylvia Plath came along.
Jack the Ripper, in an orange jumpsuit, said he'd eat my limb;
Jack Straw just said he ruled the boat on interim.
A neon Ostrich
French horn
French maid
Dostoevsky.
A neon Ostrich
French horn
French maid
Dostoevsky.
I live beneath the sign of the ostrich, in neon
With a French horn player, cousin of Celine Dion.
We have a French maid who gets her clothes of,
While we are reading Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov.
table lamp
halibut
broom
red hot poker
that's brilliant!