Lol!
Corn husk in the morning is good for the toes,
And a five dollar bill just grows and grows.
I used my tax return as a firelighter,
And ate my typewriter.
jelly mo(u)ld
plate
iMac
book of quotations
A jelly mold hangs on my wall
And I have a plate with a quotation hanging in the hall.
I can look it on my new iMac
But a book of quotations is better to hack.
Modern art
shot glass
trunk
stone
She had a glass full of modern art by her bed,
And the shot glass was full of shot, at her head.
The cabin trunk under the bed belonged to her grandpappy,
Diamond's the stone that makes her happy.
mirror
radiator
fireplace
wall
If she'd look in the mirror, the mirror would hate her
Why, she has a face like a radiator.
While she warmed her hands oer the fireplace
She blended into the wall and became a wallflower face.
(what the?)
scale
diagram
page
sponge
Covered in scales, the lizard-like creature slides
Across the diagram of a frog's insides.
The page drips with blood you can't expunge
And there are ants on my sponge.
(how surreal is this?!)
rake
telephone handset
bib
fork
I stepped on the rake and got clobbered.
Eewwww....the telephone handset is covered with slobber!
I shouldn't need a bib to use the phone,
fork it, it's my drool, I live alone.
pocket protector
bundt pan
calculator
fountain pen
On a roll are we??!!
pocket protector
bundt pan
calculator
fountain pen
I've got a pocket protector in my pocket
And a picture of a bundt pan in my locket.
My calculator is so calculating that it's got its own contract with my son
And I haven't got a fountain pen that doesn't run.
roll
spring roll
swiss roll
bedroll
A roll is pretty good with a Christmas ham,
but a spring roll, if it's Vietnamese, is best with Nuoc Nam.
Swiss rolls have a ton of sugar, but are neat,
I'd have to say, a bedroll is most sweet.
deodorant
hair dryer
blanket
ceiling fan
Put away that deodorant, put on your diving suit
You don't need a hair dryer, you're already looking beaut.
Come under my blanket at the bottom of the sea,
Just the ceiling fan, you and me.
honeycomb
plastic tub
guacamole
scotch tape
deodorant
hair dryer
blanket
ceiling fan
You need deoderant. It's stinky under there!
You'd better take a hair dryer and dry that armpit hair!
Your pits are growing long like a blanket.
Raise your arms and turn on the ceiling fan before I come over and yank it!
Jump Rope
art
basketball
history book
We submitted at the same time. I'll do yours if you do mine
honeycomb
plastic tub
guacamole
scotch tape
The Face Lift:
Put the honey from the honeycomb on your face and rub
Then put the avacado in a plastic tub
Then you rub the guacamole all over your face
Then scotch tape your jowls and pull it up in place.
Suit
Geography book
library
audiotape
Jump Rope
art
basketball
history book
I play jump rope with my Auntie Jane
The art is pretty rather than plain
A basketball is rather fun
Now the work in my history book is done.
marzipan
lemon
grass
lawnmower
Suit
Geography book
library
audiotape
Does every elephant wear a suit?
Is the geography book right in your boot?
My library's full of children's books
With audiotapes for incipient cooks.
I like to eat the marzipan
And lemon jello right from the pan
Try lemon grass in your Thai food
But don't trim with a lawnmower, that wouldn't be good.
Television
Golf ball
Tennis ball
Bowling ball
Once I picked up a huge television from my table
Made sure the golf ball underneath was made of sable,
Put the purple tennis ball on the TV top,
And left a bowling ball for the Baron von Ribbentrop.
DVD
brandy glass
jug
mousepad
The DVD is a bit of a conundrum,
it doesn't fit into the brandy glass, perhaps I'm dumb.
The jug is empty which might explain
why I just tried using my mousepad to board a plane.
dog food
elastic band
dish soap
steel wool
I eat the dog food from my hand
That's why my stomach has an elastic band
I also drink palmolive dish soap--
--Dunked in steel wool. I'm such a dope.
Photograph
Film
Tough meat
Coaster
I take a fork with me to lunch
But dropped my spoon instead for brunch
My knife was messy as could be
Can't you see my bowling ball buffer with me
teapot
pan
frame
key
