I google searched the net for most of the day
Trying to find a robot that would work without pay
I then watched "The Swan" with Grace Kelly on TV
Sipping a Blue Hawaii and strumming my ukulele.
Jack-O-Lantern
Spatula
Picture Frame
Cigarette lighter
Jack-O-Lantern
Spatula
Picture Frame
Cigarette lighter
I carved my Jack-O-Lantern with nose, mouth and eyes
And used the pumpkin filling to bake three pies
An old picture frame held a sign that said, "BOO!"
My cigarette lighter lit the candle--now nothing left to do.
junk mail
Sunday's newspaper
breath mints
scrambled eggs
junk mail
Sunday's newspaper
breath mints
scrambled eggs
I get so much junkmail, I'm going to move to Spain,
Spreading Sunday's newspaper over my hairdo to keep off the rain.
I shall need breath mints to ward off garlic smells,
And you can't make scrambled eggs without breaking their shells.
nuclear bomb
George W Bush's socks
kitchen paper
meringue
nuclear bomb
George W Bush's socks
kitchen paper
meringue
The way he pronounces "nuclear bomb" when asking for my vote
Makes me want to shove George W. Bush's socks right down his throat
His face looks as ruddy as my dirty old kitchen paper
And his ideas have all the substance of merinque and hot air vapor
flower tattoos
chocolate pudding
rubber bands
attic treasures
I LOVE that!!!
If flower tattoos and glitzy earrings can attract a mate
Then I'll affect them, and eat chocolate pudding although I'm overweight.
Some squid rings taste and feel like rubber bands.
If I had attic treasures, I'd put them all in the auctioneer's hands.
hare casserole
gin
herbs
cable TV
hare casserole
gin
herbs
cable TV
I can't make a hare casserole if I think of a "bunny"
But, if I drink enough gin, it might strike me as funny
Like a pot au feu, I can add vegetables and herbs
You might see me on cable tv as "The Emeril Of The Burbs"
yellow post-it notes
cranberry sauce
dog biscuits
meat cleaver
For reminders, yellow post-it notes are really a blessing
As is cranberry sauce with turkey and dressing
My pup couldn't chew his dog biscuits - sore gums
So I chopped them with the meat cleaver, but now have no thumbs.
Wet mop
Raggedy Ann doll
Cough medicine
Pumpkin pie
Wet mop
Raggedy Ann doll
Cough medicine
Pumpkin pie
This cold has left me feeling like a limp wet mop
To bed with my Raggedy Ann doll will be my next stop
Some hot tea and cough medicine sounds just fine
And, if I felt better, Pumpkin Pie would be divine
mail order catalogs
remote control
postage stamps
tape measure
the mail order catalogs fly in the air
while the remote control seems to be nowhere
the postage stamps are gone too
but i got the tape measure for you!
mouthwash
hairclip
earring
computer AVR
mouthwash not as good anymore
the hairclip helps you stop to snore
the earring was flushed into the toilet
and the computer AVR doesn't help you connect to the internet!
dental floss
hair iron
body piercing
speaker box
dental floss
hair iron
body piercing
speaker box
I tied up my hair with dental floss;
After using the hair iron, my hair lacked gloss.
Perhaps body piercing cures the pox...
There's a cup of coffee cooling on the speaker box.
walking stick
yarrow stalk
matches
Bush supporter
walking stick
yarrow stalk
matches
Bush Supporter
With walking stick i took a stroll
between yarrow stalks on a grassy knoll
with wooden matches i lit my smoke
and a Bush Supporter i did choke.
wallpaper
tin box
drapes
5x7 index card
wallpaper
tin box
drapes
5x7 index card
The wallpaper was studded with shepherdesses and sheep.
In this tin box are the photos I want to keep.
Close the drapes, stoke up the fire.
I am going to write on this 5 x 7 index card all the things in life I require.
head lice
wheelchair
cheese
toenail
the wallpaper already peels off the wall
the tin box lies empty in the hall
the drapes were torn by the cat
a 5x7 index card's as big as a rat
tissue paper
pin cushion
sponge
silverware
i don't have any headlice, understand?
niether do i sit on a wheelchair coz i can stand!
i eat cheese, they're good
but the toenails are dirty, they're not for food.
we depend much on tissue paper
and the pin cushion so we may not suffer
spongebob squarepants is a sponge isnt it?
the siverware is not where we can sit!
mousepad
hanger
20 volume encyclopedia
sink
mousepad
hanger
20 volume encyclopedia
sink
My dog chewed my mousepad into bits
Grabbed a hanger and mauled one of my knits
From a 20 volume encyclopedia he ate book one
And jumped into the bathroom sink before he was done
Dark chocolate bar
cooking spoon
digital alarm clock
blank cassette tape
What's the the deal with the dark chocolate bar
and the cooking spoon in the jar?
We use a digital alarm clock in the 21st century
and no more blank casette tapes, but Cds.
Cellular Phone
Dishwasher
Faucet
Blow dryer
Cellular phone is a sign of a new technology
The dishwasher is not necessary
close a faucet when you see one dripping
and dont put a blow dryer on a watery ceiling.
shoe rack
full-length mirror
bunk bed
alarm clock
Rummaged through my shoe rack to find those red pumps
But in the full length mirror I looked like I had Mumps
I jumped into my bunk bed with an ice pack on my face
But, when the alarm clock sounded, I knew I couldn't leave my place.
grocery coupons
tire pump
pretzels
cat food
I stuffed my grocery coupons into a big blue jar
And threw my tire pump in the trash since I don't have a car
I vacuumed the crumbs from the pretzels that fell onto my blanket last night
And covered the cat food with foil cause dead tuna's a horrible sight.
Rake
Jewelry box
Tote bag
Pencil sharpener
