Let's all gather at the milkshake machine
Holding garish beanbags that are spilling every bean.
We'll drink red lemonade
And hoist a Confederate flag to show we haven't yet been paid.
goat
September 6th
gutter
stars of bethlehem
Those shoddy home improvements really got my goat
September 6th the bill came and my basement was afloat
The roof leaked, the gutter was down, and sparks flew from the phone
Had they installed the stars of bethlehem, they never would have shone
Schweppes tonic
candle wax
Cuban cigars
scissors
Schwepps tonic is useful for those kindly people
Who work taking candle wax from St. Paul of the Chimneysweep's steeple,
Who work not for French bread nor Cuban cigars
But novelty scissors in plastic jars.
Fake dogs
Whimsical actress
Lemon curd
Three camera films
Three fake dogs came to greet me in the park of dream
A whimsical actress led them on a lead, wearing a dress of peach and cream.
Topped with a lemon curd hat
And she kept three camera films in that.
Ticket from Taipei to Seoul
hedgehog
inflammable oil
Kurdistan
The train ticket from Taipei to Seoul had me travelling through fog
It was on that ride I first tasted hedgehog
Cooked in inflammable oil it remained quite chewy
Like Kurdistan yak or a rubber Chop Suey
telescope
can opener
tennis balls
scones
Hand me the bendy telescope to scan the stars
The can opener, can of beans, and 4 Mars Bars.
Tennis balls
Taste only marginally worse than my friend's scones which are of a texture that appals.
Opal ring
black stretch pants
passport
small white van
E-bay's a wonder; it sells opal rings,
Black stretch pants made out of dodgy PVC, and other things.
I even heard they're selling fake Uzbek passports, now,
But they still can't give me the experience of sitting on top of a small white van with my Frisian cow.
Lovely, but unfinished as to prompts
East German diver
Cutlasses
Novelty key-chain
Joshua tree
The East German diver is sleek as a seal
With cutlasses and biceps of steel.
She wears a novelty keychain around her right wrist,
And under the Joshua tree, gets pissed.
handlebar moustache
Versace blouse
map of Djibouti
cayenne pepper
This is the golden age of handlebar moustaches
And prim Versac blouses covering rashes.
I wear both and a dress made from a huge map of Djibouti,
And I kill people off with my mixture of cayenne pepper and tutti frutti.
Portico
Twenty-watt bulb
Maynards Sour gums
Distasteful flower arrangement.
The portico flanking the east wing of the house
Had a twenty watt bulb that could barely guide a mouse
I sat there one night just chewing my Maynards sour gums
While gazing at a distasteful flower arrangement of wilted spider mums
Blonde toupee
coffee grounds
ratty bathrobe
bandages
Don't wear that blonde toupee - that horrendous looking rug
said she while pouring coffee grounds into his mug.
Said he, I'm going to toss your ratty bathrobe into
the trash
Said she, if you do, you'll need bandages for more than just a rash.
Hulu Skirt
Statue of Liberty
Paper clips
Cheeseburger
Doesn't that hula skirt girl look pretty
When she's emulating the statue of Liberty:
Paper-clips on her fingers and old cartons on her toes,
She will have cheeseburgers thrown to her wherever she goes.
Crème broûlée
Rocky road ice cream
Hopeless astronauts
Michael Moore
La creme qui brule, c'est la creme brulee it seems
Not best eaten with rocky road ice=creams
By hopeless astronauts in doomed rocket ships
With Michael Moore video clips.
Bhutan
herrings
Palace of the Winds
handset
While in Bhutan I drank Chang beer
But avoided the herrings out of fear
Jaipur's Palace of the Winds was quite a sight
Although someone swiped my handset when I stopped for a bite
brut champagne
waterproof mascara
attic door
lottery ticket
A sip of brut champagne got her going
But her waterproof mascara froze when it started snowing.
By the attic door she found a winning
Lottery ticket, which set her inanely grinning.
daughter
Peruvian poncho
kaleisoscope
Irish setter
My friend has a cute zany daughter named Cat
Who dresses in a Peruvian poncho and feathered hat
She likes to view things through a mirrored kaleidoscope
And sing German lullabies to her Irish Setter named Hope
WonTon Soup
Car keys
Badminton racket
shampoo
Take a bowl of wonton soup with fish
Add your car keys to the dish.
Stir it with a badminton racket quickly,
And shampoo your hair with it to make it nice and tickly.
tomato juice
giant spider
street lamp
chain saw
Tomato juice is evil, but it is meant to solve memory loss,
And it can give a giant spider a nice gloss,
So that it is visible under the street lamp's glare
For all the chainsaw-wielding insect murderers lurking there.
