Success: Self Made or Advantaged

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Self Made or Advantaged success in life goals, work ethics, social contribution, self-worth, happiness and fulfillment.

Self Made / Advantaged do not necessarily imply financial conditions totally - there could be other factors such as home life, early childhood, health, etc.

Obviously the two above life situations have much influence on a person's choices and goals - and if so which would contribute more weight to the success and worthiness of the individual. Or do they balance in importance?

Both have pros and cons which are unnecessary to drag into the picture but I wonder if people have definite opinions as to which may be the most likely to succeed or are they equal?

Do you think rather it depends upon the individual than the initial start in life?

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@Skye cv,

self-made have better chances, because they want it more.

2 Replies

@briansol,

Thanks Brian for your response.

I am inclined to agree with you - the drive is born within rather than passed on.

I would also think the self-made person enjoys more satisfaction from success than one who was fulfilling a family or inherited 'duty'.

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@Skye cv,

Self made without question. You work your way up from the bottom and know what it is like to live in a crappy apartment, drive a crappy car. You appreciate things a whole lot more when you earn it.

1 Reply

@Drakej,

Brian and Drake

You know I was still of a mind that the Self-Made person basked in more self-worth and satisfaction but something occurred to me after my second cup of coffee...

Sometimes the Advantaged have terrible reputations to overcome which may or may not be legitimate if only a member of a family - has to bear the brunt of attachment negatives created by ancestors or current family members with whom he/she does not agree.

Another negative to overcome might be the expectation by the community or larger group that one will conform to what the family has done before - when the individual is a renegade within the family and has a better mousetrap to build.

Still - I'd rather be responsible for creating my own worth - I guess I'll stick with Self-Made regardless of the trials and hard work.

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@Skye cv,

I have friends that came from money that far surpassed the financial dreams of their parents. The parents had dough but the second generation really made the fortunes take off.

The problem I have seen repeatedly with "self-mades" is that they tend to think they are bullet proof and that they can do no wrong. They tend to gamble heavily on questionable projects thinking that they are smarter than the market. They throw good money after bad and frequently end up loosing.

The key here is to stay the course, follow your trusted advisors, remain humble and invest cautiously.

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@Skye cv,

I think self made people are better as people, and appreciate more what they accomplish, but advantaged success, ei; born with the silver spoon in the ass, may have the advantage here as they start out ahead of the game so you can't really call them a "success" because they didn't do anything.

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@92b16vx,

SoCal you brought up an interesting point

I have know some Self-Made people who blew up after a while having reached their pinnacle of success and had to reinvent another goal to keep the adrenaline going.

It is the journey to success which was giving them incentive, not the goal reached.

Once a Self-Made has reached the dream - the end - it would be another question if that person could relax and enjoy or move on to another quest.

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@92b16vx,

92b16vx;50255 wrote:

I think self made people are better as people, and appreciate more what they accomplish, but advantaged success, ei; born with the silver spoon in the ass, may have the advantage here as they start out ahead of the game so you can't really call them a "success" because they didn't do anything.

No offense intended 92 but speaking in generalities, the self-made, nouveau-riche are the most difficult businessmen to work with. Their success in business is only preceeded by their arrogance.

Once they reach the age of 50 or so they begin to settle down, if their success is on-going and not just a flash in the pan as is often the case. As for not "doing anything", I will throw out Trump as an example. His father was "comfortable", though certainly not wealthy. He accumulated wealth that his father never imagined - so, yes, he did plenty. Personally, I think he's one of the arrogant jerks I described above but there is no denying his accomplishments.

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@Skye cv,

Skye;50264 wrote:

SoCal you brought up an interesting point

I have know some Self-Made people who blew up after a while having reached their pinnacle of success and had to reinvent another goal to keep the adrenaline going.

It is the journey to success which was giving them incentive, not the goal reached.

Once a Self-Made has reached the dream - the end - it would be another question if that person could relax and enjoy or move on to another quest.

You make 3 good points -

(1) I made a lot of money in my 20's that I managed to blow in my 30's through bad business decisions. I reinvented myself 4 times in my working life. I finally learned one fundamental lesson, before you act with reckless abandon, study every aspect of what you plan to do, then study it again.

(2) The journey is it's own reward.

(3) You do not relax once you have earned a lot of money. If you were the type to quit in your prime, then you would never have earned the money in the first place.

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@Skye cv,

SoCal

I have seen people like that - with fire in their eyes - searching for the ultimate whatever only they could recognize, to deflate and spend their later years talking
about 'how it used to be'.

My brother had the midas touch - with lumber - and he literally burned himself out at a very young age - but he was so happy on his adventures - especially when he brought others along with him for the ride.

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@socalgolfguy,

socalgolfguy;50290 wrote:

No offense intended 92 but speaking in generalities, the self-made, nouveau-riche are the most difficult businessmen to work with. Their success in business is only preceeded by their arrogance.

One does not make oneself in the business world by being a nice guy or letting people take advantage. My point was more that someone that is advantaged can't really call it a success because they started at teh finish.

3 Replies

@92b16vx,

92b16vx;50298 wrote:

One does not make oneself in the business world by being a nice guy or letting people take advantage. My point was more that someone that is advantaged can't really call it a success because they started at teh finish.

Agreed, no one can begin at the finish and be successful. You have to keep moving forward to be successful at anything. However, the perception that because you came from money that you are spoiled is wrong more times that not. Most children I know that come from money are schooled exceptionally well and have the same in-bread drive as one or both of their parents. They can, if they choose, go on to exceed all their parents expectations. They have not only the opportunity but the determination to succeed - qualities lost on most individuals. Because they think success for them is impossible, they do not bother to try. The offspring you are thinking of are the worthless do-nothings that live off their grandparents trust funds and do nothing but waste their lives on booze, drugs and women. For me to think that all my work would go for nothing and my kids would sell everything and move to Hawaii and lay on the beach all day is very disturbing to me. Then again, they are all highly educated and have excellent career paths, jump started by me but activated by their own efforts.

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@92b16vx,

92b16vx;50298 wrote:

One does not make oneself in the business world by being a nice guy or letting people take advantage.

Oh, I've been taken advantage plenty - not by competitors, but by former employees. And, you can be a nice guy and succeed. You appear to me to be full of negatives when it comes to personal success. If I can help, send me a PM.

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@Skye cv,

I don't know man. People that grew up in a very large house, driving a nice car all from birth will never fully appreciate what they have because they have always had nice things.

2 Replies

@Drakej,

You have a President who would not have got near the white house if it was not for his daddy.

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@Skye cv,

An open question to all of you out there -

If, tomorrow you had $1 million you could use any way you wished, what would you do..?

I know, a lot would say, "buy a home" or "buy a business", whatever, just be honest. How many would buy a new car, new duds, new computer gadgets, travel, etc. What would you do if $1 million was available to you..?

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@Drakej,

Drakej;50355 wrote:

I don't know man. People that grew up in a very large house, driving a nice car all from birth will never fully appreciate what they have because they have always had nice things.

What about you, Drake? If you grew up in a nice house, would you take it all for granted? Don't just knee-jerk a quick response - think about it.

I think you would be very respectful of your home and its contents - more so as you grow older and wiser.

0 Replies

@92b16vx,

92b16vx;50298 wrote:

One does not make oneself in the business world by being a nice guy or letting people take advantage. My point was more that someone that is advantaged can't really call it a success because they started at teh finish.

Further, what you are saying is that wealthy people are ruthless in business and have kids that are worthless. I agree that this is true in a very small minority of cases. To make these stereotypical statements with such ease reminds me of the white southern men sitting on their worthless asses in the 50's that said all black people were shiftless, all Mexicans were lazy and all Jews were thieves. It's true that some of that will always be true as it is with the rich being ruthless and poor parents but certainly not in the mainstream. By far the majority of African Americans are not shiftless, the Latinos are not lazy and the Jews are not thieves. But, to the weak minded, all it takes is one example and the entire group is condemned.

These feelings of resentment, jealousy and hatred in some extreme cases stem from some weak minded lazy whiner 200 years ago that tried to perpetrate feelings of guilt and greed on the part of the rich as a way of getting even, although the argument has no basis in fact.

1 Reply

@briansol,

briansol;50213 wrote:

self-made have better chances, because they want it more.

Self made also understand the work and sacrifice put forth to attain their goals, and therefore have great respect for their achievements as well as the achievements and hard work of others.

1 Reply

Success: Self Made or Advantaged

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