Is it too Early?

I have always felt that a couple should know each other at least a year before they consider marriage. I have some concept in my head about knowing someone throughout the four seasons.

As far as you are concerned, if you have to ask, then , IMO, you are not ready. You can always get married. It seems to me that you should wait, until you KNOW the answer!

BTW, welcome to A2K!

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure."

Hmm...I dunno. SealPoet has wise words there. I have been married five years now, but I have lived with Mrs. cav for eight. You are not too young, but maybe not too far into the relationship to really know what time will bring. You can always get engaged, and give some time before the wedding to get to know each other better.

Obviously if you and friend have been exclusively dating for 7 months you are beginning to consider longer term relationships. All the same, "consider" is not the same as "marry".

I agree with Phoenix that you should be together at least a year before you make serious plans for "forever". How many really high-stress, high-tension times have the two of you shared? Have you met--and spent significient time with--each other's families? Have you mentioned to him that one--at least one--of his little ways really annoys you? Has he mentioned this to you?

NOTE: If either of you has not yet noticed an annoying little habit in the other party, you are not ready to be thinking of marriage.

In my day "pinning" was popular. Wearing a fraternity pin meant that you were engaged to be engaged. One of the reasons that many marriages fail is that they were doomed--two starry eyed lovers said their vows to strangers.

If you're dating Mr. Right, time will only deepen and strengthen your relationship. If he's Mr. Wrong, you'll have a chance to find out and move on without legal, financial and family complications.

Good luck.

Also, getting engaged means considering the big questions:
* do you want kids? If so, how many?
* how will you live? Will you both work?
* where will you live? If one of you has to move to follow a job, will that be a problem?
* how do you handle money? Are you spenders or savers or something in between? Have you ever argued about money? If so, what was the outcome?
* are you planning on having a religious home? If so, what does that mean to you?
* do you get along with one another's families? If not, will that cause friction later on?

You don't have to answer these questions here, but you should consider them, and others like them. Marriage is a lot more than commingling furniture.

Are you in agreement on the importants things in both your life? If so, wait a minimum of one year. Five months is about the right amount of time to prepare your wedding.

thanx ... its been a great help ... i was only talking about engagment atm... we have been through some hard times one just a few weeks ago and come through good we pick each others bad points out also so looks like we got those points right ... i have never been one to believe in getting married but this relationship has changed my point of view. Thank you all for your words of advice i love this place more and more everytime i visit!

A commitment is a commitment. Engagement usually means marriage - most of the time.

I don't think age is the issue; it's the maturity level of both of you. It never hurts to wait; marriage is for a lifetime. Have each of you been honest about your reactions to your likes and dislikes? Bad times and good times are natural in any relationship. Do both of you agree on long-term goals and expectations? Better find out before you tie the knot.

It's way too soon for either of you to get married. Both of you are so very, very young. Frighteningly young.