Does it sound like spoken by a native English speaker?

Not quite perfect

Would've fooled me, littlek.

hmmmm

Maybe it's just the style of writing that doesn't jive with me.

Well, you've known about how many smarts I've got for a long time, huh?

It could very well be. There are plenty of native english speakers that speak like this but the paragraph has some problems. The second sentence is far too long, has too many large words that don't need to be there and it contains five "and"s.

It sounds like the work of some kid. its not written well at all. It seems to be written by someone familiar enough with connectives but the result does not communicate anything .

Re: Does it sound like spoken by a native English speaker?


The second sentence could have been spoken by a native English speaker who was a little flustered about being in front of an audience. Besides the obvious problem of the sentence being too long and complex, there are a few oddities:

fully proved -- why not just proved?

the basic research -- don't need "the" here

often -- not needed, it weakens the claim

causes... motivation -- simplify this as a native speaker would

people's -- likely a speaker would include himself and use "our"

forming -- creating or developing are the more common word choices

the progress -- again, unlikely to need "the"

_________
If you were to rewrite this as a native speaker, it might look like this (orange words to be pulled, italics for new words):

The progressive history of mankind's modern civilization has fully proved that every major breakthrough in the basic research often causes tremendous and inestimable motivation on raising people's raises our ability to understand and change the world, making increases innovation in science and technology, forming by developing high technology industry and boosting the progress in which boosts our economy and culture.

Here's the final, still-complex but more understandable version. Only the italicized words were added.

The basic research is very important. The progressive history of modern civilization has proved that every major breakthrough in basic research raises our ability to understand and change the world, increases innovation in science and technology by developing high technology industry which boosts our economy and culture.

Much thanks Piffka.

What I'm feeling confused is "increases innovation in science and technology by developing high technology industry which boosts our economy and culture."
Logically speaking, it seems "basic research" does not equal to "high technology industry". In original paragraph, "basic research" "ncreases innovation in science and technology", "developing high technology industry" and "boosts our economy and culture" . But in your rewritting, "developing high technology industry" (the content in double quotation marks is subject) "ncreases innovation in science and technology" and "boosts our economy and culture". So I think it is different.

Also thank others.

You're certainly welcome, Oristar! I see what you're saying and you are right. It did make it different. I have a hard time seeing that breakthrough in basic research can do those things too.

What if the first points were connected with an "AND"? They are the strongest & most closely tied to a "breakthrough". To me, the breakthroughs don't develop industry or boost the economy and culture themselves, they follow one after the other.

NEW VERSION:
The basic research is very important. The progressive history of modern civilization has proved that every major breakthrough in basic research raises our ability to understand and change the world AND increases more innovation in science and technology, while the resulting new developments in high technology industry boost our economy and culture.

That does get away from your first quote which said major breakthroughs in research create a motivation to:

(1) Raise ability to understand & change world
(2) Increase innovations in science & technology
(3) Develop high technology industry
(4) Boost economy & culture.

I've left out the motivation factor -- maybe that is the most important part to get across?

Oristar, This sounds to me like someone's term paper. The writer appears to be trying to make the writing sound impressive, and he or she hasn't succeeded. The writing is a muddle, but could easily have been written (or spoken) by a native English speaker.

BTW, it's not safe to assume that every--or even most--native English speakers can write coherently.

Hi all.

It seems mostly concerned professional knowledge, esp. sociology; lack of which may cause rewriting not so perfect, not that the re-writer's English is not good enough

Finally thanks for replies.

Oristar, How many Ts are in the word "writing?"

Roberta, I dunno. :wink: