1
   

Ted Nugent: Deer are like the French

 
 
Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2007 10:21 am
Ted Nugent, Rock star and avid bow hunter was being
interviewed by a
French journalist and the discussion came around to deer
hunting.

The journalist asked,
"What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer
before
you shoot him?
* Is it 'Are you my friend?' or
* Is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?' or
* Why do you do this thing, of killing just for sport?"


Nugent replied,
"Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care
about is:
* What am I going to eat next,
* Who am I going to screw next, and
* Can I run fast enough to get away.
They are, in many ways, very much like the French."
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 937 • Replies: 14
No top replies

 
Drnaline
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2007 10:34 am
@Silverchild79,
LOL, goodole Ted.
0 Replies
 
briansol
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2007 12:16 pm
@Silverchild79,
ted's a crazy bastard. i saw him on i think it was cribs. it was funny as hell
0 Replies
 
Freeman15
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Sep, 2007 12:52 pm
@Silverchild79,
J'adore les gens de la France, mais c'est vrai, ses histoire de guerre n'est pas impressionnant.
0 Replies
 
Drnaline
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Sep, 2007 05:36 pm
@Silverchild79,
English?
Freeman15
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 11:24 pm
@Drnaline,
Drnaline;36242 wrote:
English?


Oh, vous ne parlez pas le francais? Desole', j'oblie parler l'anglais sur l'internet. Vive la France! Vive le liberte'!
Silverchild79
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Sep, 2007 12:18 pm
@Silverchild79,
hmmm

I little odd that Ron Paul supports speak fluent French wouldn't you think?
kmchugh
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Sep, 2007 12:22 pm
@Freeman15,
COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to
future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

And let us not forget France's most recent naval victory, in which the French staged a daring commando raid. This raid, executed with style and panache, successfully sank a ship belonging to the maurading fleet owned by ........ Greenpeace. The ship was sunk at anchor ...... in a harbor ....... while unattended. The French still got caught, and after about 30 seconds of implausible denial, promptly surrendered. To Greenpeace.
Freeman15
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Sep, 2007 02:43 pm
@Silverchild79,
Silverchild79;38149 wrote:
hmmm

I little odd that Ron Paul supports speak fluent French wouldn't you think?


Ya gavaryu pa ruski no Ya plokha gavaryu pa ruski. Pardon me for taking an interest in learning the ways of other major international players. I'll be sure to stick to American English and international ignorance.
wvpeach
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Sep, 2007 02:47 pm
@Silverchild79,
Sounds like something ted would say.

Hubby likes this guy.

I think he's crude.
0 Replies
 
Freeman15
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Sep, 2007 02:48 pm
@kmchugh,
kmchugh;38151 wrote:
COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to
future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

And let us not forget France's most recent naval victory, in which the French staged a daring commando raid. This raid, executed with style and panache, successfully sank a ship belonging to the maurading fleet owned by ........ Greenpeace. The ship was sunk at anchor ...... in a harbor ....... while unattended. The French still got caught, and after about 30 seconds of implausible denial, promptly surrendered. To Greenpeace.


Yeah, who needs advanced commerce, politics, language, art, and human rights when wars matter most. You seem to forget that France was only defeated during the Napoleonic Wars after a coalition of the most powerful nations of Europe finally got their asses in gear.
0 Replies
 
Drnaline
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Sep, 2007 08:06 am
@Silverchild79,
Silverchild79;38149 wrote:
hmmm

I little odd that Ron Paul supports speak fluent French wouldn't you think?
They probably carry a white flag tooo but i suppose they call it a handkerchief, LOL.
0 Replies
 
Drnaline
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Sep, 2007 08:11 am
@kmchugh,
kmchugh;38151 wrote:
COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to
future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

And let us not forget France's most recent naval victory, in which the French staged a daring commando raid. This raid, executed with style and panache, successfully sank a ship belonging to the maurading fleet owned by ........ Greenpeace. The ship was sunk at anchor ...... in a harbor ....... while unattended. The French still got caught, and after about 30 seconds of implausible denial, promptly surrendered. To Greenpeace.
LMAO!
0 Replies
 
Drnaline
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Sep, 2007 08:13 am
@Freeman15,
Freeman15;38166 wrote:
Ya gavaryu pa ruski no Ya plokha gavaryu pa ruski. Pardon me for taking an interest in learning the ways of other major international players. I'll be sure to stick to American English and international ignorance.

Well, this is an American forum. We speak english here. But ignorance is universal.
0 Replies
 
kmchugh
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Sep, 2007 03:36 am
@Freeman15,
Freeman15;38166 wrote:
Ya gavaryu pa ruski no Ya plokha gavaryu pa ruski. Pardon me for taking an interest in learning the ways of other major international players. I'll be sure to stick to American English and international ignorance.


Ya gavaril, no ya mnoga zabuil. Ya vas fpomnuu.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

Oddities and Humor - Discussion by edgarblythe
Let's play "Caption the Photo" II - Discussion by gustavratzenhofer
JIM NABORS WAS GOY? - Question by farmerman
Funny Pictures ***Slow Loading*** - Discussion by JerryR
Caption The Cartoon - Discussion by panzade
Geek and Nerd Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Caption The Cartoon Part Deux - Discussion by panzade
IS IT OK FOR ME TO CHEAT? - Question by Setanta
2008 Election: Political Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Ted Nugent: Deer are like the French
Copyright © 2025 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 05/01/2025 at 07:34:08