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Sat 30 Nov, 2002 03:52 am
Newspaper quotes from the BBC Radio 4's "News Quiz":
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that blew his house to pieces." (Bangkok Post)
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)
Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (Reuters via The Manchester Evenings News)
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a special branch vehicle, and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
Fresco, we would have found those quotes funny had we SEEN them! You posted before 6 a.m. Boston time..... we were in bed.
Did it occur to you, littlek, that the quotes were directed to people in the other hemisphere and that they could really care less if we had seen them?
You Bostonians can be so arrogant.
Fresco was a-complaining that americans didn't get the british humor and cited this article as proof.
I must have missed that, k. Will you ever forgive me?
I must admit.....some of you Americans are very funny.
I hereby dub both of you honorary Brits.
No, don't thank me. You deserve it.
Er, thanks LordE..... (how will the Ozzies feel about me now?)
S'ok Gus.
OK, then this oldie of mine of related spirit deserves a second chance as well.
More dry British wit that didnt trigger any replies:
A letter from the taxman ...
littlek wrote:Er, thanks LordE..... (how will the Ozzies feel about me now?)
S'ok Gus.
We had already made you an honourable Narelle, love.
Narelle? Is that a good thing?
ooooohhhhh, ok, then <looking quizical>.
.....and from today's "News Quiz"...
Scottish news item:
In a magistrates court a case against a German seaman was going to be thrown out because it transpired at the last minute that he spoke no English. A man in the public gallery offered his services as a "German speaker" and was invited to stand next to the prisoner.
"Ask him his name" instructed the magistrate,
whereupon the interpreter poked the prisoner in the chest and shouted
"Vot iss your name !".
(Case dismissed. Interpreter fined £200 for contempt)
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