'Once, Upon A Time In America'

'Once, Upon A Time In America' ...
... A BUSH Fairy Tale ...

The Gospel According to Saint Dick
Another Excerpt from The King George Bible
By Court Jester, David Spring
[circa 2001]

It was during a time of Great Prosperity that Dubya, the Governor of a large and extremely polluted State, decided to run for President. He was the son of George H. W. Bush who was the son of Herbert Walker Bush who was the son of George Walker Bush who was the son of King George the IV who was the son of King George the III who was the son of King George the Feeble-minded who was the son of King George the Tyrant who was the reason the US rebelled against Monarchy in the first place.

But the People had forgotten the wise warnings of their Founding Fathers. And so a New Plague was about to befall them.

Now at this time of Great Prosperity there was a National Election. And every person went to their hometown in order to vote. All across the land, the evil Democrats were telling lies in order to get the people to vote for them. Fortunately, Dubya's Friends came up with 500 million dollars to spend on TV ads to refute these lies.

But many people still followed the evil ways of the Democrats. Knowing this, Don't Count Jeb, the Duke of Florida, arranged to have 70,000 Democratic Voters illegally removed from the election rolls by a company called Data Base Technologies. Unfortunately, this wasn't quite enough to win the election. It seems that a bad man named Jesse Jackson had registered over 100,000 new Democratic Voters.

Fortunately for Dubya, in a Far Off place called Washington, DC, there lived 5 Wise Judges. Late one night, they received a vision (actually it was a phone call). Their Friend Jim Baker was crying, "They are counting the votes! What can we do?"

A wise judge named Tony the Terror said, " Do not worry. For gifts of Gold and Incense, we will halt the Counting of Votes!"

And so it came to pass that Dubya was anointed King Shrub in a Coronation Ceremony by the Royal Court of Rehnquist. As his first official act, King Shrub declared that Greed, huh, I mean God was on his side. He said, "No man goeth to Bankruptcy except through me". Then He taught the people the New Lord's Prayer:

Our Money which art in the Bank, hollow be thy Power. Thy King has come, Thy will be done, On Main Street as it is on Wall Street. Give us this day our daily bribe and deliver us a new Lexus. For thyn art the Power and the Greedy forever and ever. Amen.

But the people in their wickedness turned their backs on King Shrub and refused to worship the new idol. So King Shrub tore down the Temple of Democracy by unleashing Four Great Plagues on the People.

First he sent out the Monster called Enron which raised Energy Prices for 40 days and 40 nights. This brought the Economy to its knees. Many of the People were unemployed and could not pay their Utility Bills. But still the People would not listen.

Next, he brought out the Monster called Ashcroft who was the Hater of Women and Minorities and the Lover of Guns and Arrogance. But the People were not afraid.

The Third Great Monstrosity was called the Tax Cut. But the People knew it was really just a transfer of a Trillion dollars from the Middle Class to the Very Rich.

The final monstrosity was King Shrub's Faith Based Missile Defense System. But the People knew that this too was merely a Trick to extract another Trillion from the wallets of the Middle Class and give it to Corporations of the Military- Industrial Complex.

In desperation, King Shrub had his Friends in the Corporate Controlled Media go throughout the Kingdom proclaiming his message of Salvation through Greed. The Media Said, " We shall hide the Truth and the Lie shall keep us in Power.”

But the Truth came out through a BBC investigation published on a small Internet Website called Buzzflash.com. Thus in the second year of His Reign of Greed, King Shrub lost his majority in Congress. Then, on the Fourth year of His Reign, King Shrub was crucified on the Cross called Justice. Democracy and Prosperity were returned to the People by the People.

The People had all learned a Great Lesson. In the words of Harry, the Trueman, "If you want to live like a Republican, you'd better vote like a Democrat".

Still, the Ghost of King Shrub, called Global Warming, haunted the Nation for years to come. It caused such a rise in Sea Level that Florida was completely flooded and disappeared. This was the first time in history that an entire State had been baptized and gave new meaning to the phrase, "We shall wash away our sins with Holy Water"

Woops,wrong forum.