Acts 2:38

Reply Mon 9 Jul, 2007 02:50 pm
Acts 2:38

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in
the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled ...

"Stop! Acts 2:38!"
"Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins
may be forgiven."

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police
and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take
him in, he was curious and asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand
there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?!" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and Two
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Reply Mon 9 Jul, 2007 04:28 pm
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Reply Mon 9 Jul, 2007 04:30 pm
A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear,"
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Reply Mon 9 Jul, 2007 04:34 pm
or better yet if you like evangelists

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together.
"Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter, "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in and we can't send you back...."

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a couple of days. What d'ya say?"

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.

However, two days later, St. Peter got a call.

"Pete? Lu. Hey, you gotta come get these three clowns.
This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody,
the Graham guy is saving everybody,
and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning."
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Reply Mon 9 Jul, 2007 04:50 pm
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Reply Mon 9 Jul, 2007 06:57 pm
Cajon took his dog to a fight in Louisiana. The dog was built two inches off the ground, had a long snout, no tail. It was yellow. Folks saw the dog and put all their money on the huge, ferocious, battle-hardened pitbull he was scheduled to fight. When the fight began, the pitbull tore the holy crap out of the mut for a long while. Blood flew, people laughed, it seemed like a done-deal. All of a sudden, the mut opened his mouth once, and bit the pitbull completely in half. The top half laid over there, and bottom half laid over here. The crowd fell silent. Just as the Cajon was about to leave, after collecting his prize-money, somebody asked, "Yo, Mister. What the hell kinda dog is that anyway?" Cajon said, "Well, before I cut his tail off and painted him yeller, he was an alligator." :happybirthday: :pimp: :27:
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