Three Reporters and a Marine Sergeant

Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough
old U.S. Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists
in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would
grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last
bowlful of hot spicy chili."

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned
with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die
content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the
song "O Canada" one last time."

The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the
Western world and knew the music. He returned with some
rag-tag Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed
and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to
take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and
what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear
it and know that I was on the job till the end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder
and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now
I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S.Marine, what
is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the butt," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last
hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt,"
insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in
the butt.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled
a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader
dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack,
pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire.
In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their
lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts,
they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the
beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt
first?"

"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three Jerks report
that I was the aggressor?