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Fri 21 Nov, 2003 02:36 am
Do you think the writting below is nice, or acceptable?
If you think somewhere should be improved, please just pick one or two up to correct -- No need to correct them all. TIA
A Russian buys the world's biggest pink diamond for US$100mln
The biggest pink diamond in the world, which has been on display in Mercury gallery together with other jewelry, was bought for US$100mln by a Russian.
His name is not released, it is only known that he lives in London, and the diamond has already been sent to Moscow, and he did not attend the presentation of course.
The diamond was delivered to Moscow by FranГoise Graff, a son of the founder of the famous jewelry house, Lawrence Graff. The jewel with a diamond necklace was put to a transparent cub, like other exhibited gems. The diamond of 70.39 karats has a classic tear-like shape, and distinguished from cheaper white and yellow gems and from the more expensive blue ones by a hardly noticed pinkish cast. Because of this natural characteristic, one karat of this gem is valued at about US$1.6mln, and the overall cost exceeds US$100mln. Jewelers state that this is minimal price, and the necklace made of it costs much more.
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Quote:His name is not released, it is only known that he lives in London, and the diamond has already been sent to Moscow, and he did not attend the presentation of course.
The buyer did not attend the presentation and his name was not released.
It is known that he lives in London. The diamond has already been sent to Moscow.
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It's sometimes better when writing news paragraphs not to separate the subjects. Tell what you know about one (the buyer) and then the other ( the diamond). Note that 'his name was not released' is past tense, that's already happened and is finished, while 'he lives in London' is present tense because that fact is still ongoing. The same with your correct usage of 'already been sent'.
Maybe it's just early, but I don't understand the phrase "put to a transparent cub" ??? Is this a regional expression?
Hi Joe, I assumed "his name was not released" meant "his name was not released when the buyer and seller were dealing with the bargaining. That is why the sentence used past tense. While the writer wanted to indicate where the buyer came from, he used the present tense (cos the bargaining has been past, while the buy is now living in London). It seems acceptable.
kirsten, I also dunno what the heck "a transparent cub" is.
Oristar, I assume you meant placed in a transparent cube?
Although, the image I had of a see thru leopard prancing around with this jewel around it's neck was pretty cool!
Spellcheck might be a good idea...
There goes Wilso... showing off again.
"His name was not released" is correct. "His name is not Oristar" is correct. "His name is not released" means that his name is something other than "released"... The way to put that into the present tense would be "His name is not known."
I think it should probably read "...put into a transparent cube..." That makes sense and would be a good way to display a jewel.
I'd call it "The 70.39 karat diamond" rather than using the prepositional phrase...
Maybe that is a magic cube? Hey presto, pass! It has become cub...
Abracadabra! It is now cu! Soon it will disappear, taking the pink diamond with it!
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