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Does this shy girl like me and if so what do I do now that school is over?

 
 
Spots
 
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2010 10:00 am
I have a feeling this shy girl I like a lot in high school likes me back but I'm a bit confused. Here are some things she does ( Sorry about the length) :

1. I catch her looking at me but she will quickly look away if I look her way and she acts embarassed.

2. If I say hi to her she will either ignore me and look surprised, smile at me or say hi back shyly. I notice that her voice cracks or changes tone when she talks to me..

3 Whenever I talk to her she smiles and laughs but doesn't make any attempt to prolong the conversation. She never asks me any questions. It's basically a monologue with her saying one words such as yes, no, maybe .etc. She's very talkative around her friends though.

4. Sometimes when I meet her unexpectedly she will freeze up and make this awkward eye contact for a few seconds and then walk away.

5. I sent a friend request on Facebook a month but she rejected me even though she's friends with most of my best friends and she never has real life contact with them. I figured she didn't like me but then the other behavior continued.

6. If I pass by her and she thinks I can't see her, she will smile at me. At other times she will act submissive and put her head down?

7. She makes long eye contact with me from across a hallway or room.

8. In the canteen she will always sit so she has a good view of me but she will avoid sitting close to me.

9. I notice her friends pay more attention to me than other guys .eg. look at me when I pass by my or if I look at my crush.

10. Once I picked up books that she dropped for her and she couldn't look me in the eyes and was embarassed when I gave them back to her but she did smile and say thanks.

11. She laughs at crappy jokes or remarks I make even if I'm not talking to her.

12. Sometimes she breathes deeply or sighs when I'm nearbyand very loudly too.

13. Sometimes if she's in my sight (at lunchtime for example) and she's waiting alone for one of her friends she might smile at me and then move so I can't see her anymore.

13. She acts clumsy and flustered around me .eg. she often drops her books or notes if I talk to her unexpectedly or if I''m nearby. She once walked into someone else when she noticed I was looking at her and hurried away.

14. Once we ended up joining the line at the cantine at the same time and she was alone. I told her she could go ahead of me but all she did was make this long, deep eye contact for like 4 seconds and then said sorry and walked off. She came back a minute later with her friends.

I planned to ask her out during the last week of school. I had a great opportunity at the end of one of the days when she was clearing out her locker as mine is beside hers. We were alone and I tried to start talking to her but she just seemed to freeze up. She avoided looking at me , faced the locker and she said she was busy in a quiet voice with a smile. She dropped her books again and as I helped her pick them up she started saying 'too doo too' a few times as if to avoid talking. She ended up putting some of the books she picked up into the wrong locker and she left. I said bye but she didn't reply. During the following days she seemed to be even quieter and clumsier but I still caught her glancing at me .etc. She also sighed more often and I could have sworn that she said hi to me very timidly and I just about heard it.

My gut feeling tells me she likes me but I'm not sure because she's so erratic. The bigger problem is that school is out and the only way of contacting her is by sending her a message on FB. I feel I have nothing to lose now if I try to ask her out via FB or should I just spill the beans and just tell her I like her outright to get rid of any doubts she might have ? I'd rather do something now than regret it later.

So it boils down to these 2 questions:

Does she like me?

And if she does what should I do now?
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Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2010 11:15 am
Why not ask her on FB? Stop fantasizing and make it real. She might be nervous that you could be a stalker. Why not help her feel more relaxed and talk to her about things she is interested in. Find a common ground and activities you both like and chat away.
mark noble
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2010 01:29 pm
@Spots,
Hi Spots,

What I can tell you is this. The feeling is absolutely mutual and both of you are as insecure as each other. you spend as much time in her thoughts as she does yours (Exactly).
Do NOT ask her out online, it is impersonal and cowardly.
Muster up the strength to approach her in person and tell her all about your feelings.
If you let this slip you will regret it till you die.
Best of wishes in your musterings, my friend.

Mark...
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2010 01:36 pm
@Spots,
Spots wrote:

I have a feeling this shy girl I like a lot in high school likes me back but I'm a bit confused. Here are some things she does ( Sorry about the length) :

1. I catch her looking at me but she will quickly look away if I look her way and she acts embarassed.

2. If I say hi to her she will either ignore me and look surprised, smile at me or say hi back shyly. I notice that her voice cracks or changes tone when she talks to me..

3 Whenever I talk to her she smiles and laughs but doesn't make any attempt to prolong the conversation. She never asks me any questions. It's basically a monologue with her saying one words such as yes, no, maybe .etc. She's very talkative around her friends though.

4. Sometimes when I meet her unexpectedly she will freeze up and make this awkward eye contact for a few seconds and then walk away.

5. I sent a friend request on Facebook a month but she rejected me even though she's friends with most of my best friends and she never has real life contact with them. I figured she didn't like me but then the other behavior continued.

6. If I pass by her and she thinks I can't see her, she will smile at me. At other times she will act submissive and put her head down?

7. She makes long eye contact with me from across a hallway or room.

8. In the canteen she will always sit so she has a good view of me but she will avoid sitting close to me.

9. I notice her friends pay more attention to me than other guys .eg. look at me when I pass by my or if I look at my crush.

10. Once I picked up books that she dropped for her and she couldn't look me in the eyes and was embarassed when I gave them back to her but she did smile and say thanks.

11. She laughs at crappy jokes or remarks I make even if I'm not talking to her.

12. Sometimes she breathes deeply or sighs when I'm nearbyand very loudly too.

13. Sometimes if she's in my sight (at lunchtime for example) and she's waiting alone for one of her friends she might smile at me and then move so I can't see her anymore.

13. She acts clumsy and flustered around me .eg. she often drops her books or notes if I talk to her unexpectedly or if I''m nearby. She once walked into someone else when she noticed I was looking at her and hurried away.

14. Once we ended up joining the line at the cantine at the same time and she was alone. I told her she could go ahead of me but all she did was make this long, deep eye contact for like 4 seconds and then said sorry and walked off. She came back a minute later with her friends.

I planned to ask her out during the last week of school. I had a great opportunity at the end of one of the days when she was clearing out her locker as mine is beside hers. We were alone and I tried to start talking to her but she just seemed to freeze up. She avoided looking at me , faced the locker and she said she was busy in a quiet voice with a smile. She dropped her books again and as I helped her pick them up she started saying 'too doo too' a few times as if to avoid talking. She ended up putting some of the books she picked up into the wrong locker and she left. I said bye but she didn't reply. During the following days she seemed to be even quieter and clumsier but I still caught her glancing at me .etc. She also sighed more often and I could have sworn that she said hi to me very timidly and I just about heard it.

My gut feeling tells me she likes me but I'm not sure because she's so erratic. The bigger problem is that school is out and the only way of contacting her is by sending her a message on FB. I feel I have nothing to lose now if I try to ask her out via FB or should I just spill the beans and just tell her I like her outright to get rid of any doubts she might have ? I'd rather do something now than regret it later.

So it boils down to these 2 questions:

Does she like me?

And if she does what should I do now?


Don't ask her out on FB that is the lamest things you can ever do. If you like her just get some balls and make it evident to her. If she doesn't respond then you know. The whole face book thing is just retarded if you ask me, but then again I hate face book so maybe I'm not a good person to get advice from on this.

Man up, talk to her or kiss her or do something to let her know you like her. If you act any other way she will see that you lack confidence in yourself. A huge majority of women are turned off by guys that don't have any confidence. You have nothing to lose, but the route you are currently on the best you are going to end up with is being her friend.

On a side note, everything that you described sounds like it came from some cheesy after school special or teen movie. Your locker is right next to hers? Give me a break. She dropped her books and you helped her pick them up? Seriously?
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2010 03:47 pm
In haste, I may have misled some folks about the nature of my advice. I never meant for my advice to read for you to ask her out on FB. Just use FB to contact her and ask her for her tel number.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2010 03:48 pm
@Krumple,
why would you doubt his word? Do you know this person?
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2010 03:56 pm
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

why would you doubt his word? Do you know this person?


Well I doubt because some of the details seem a tad strange and unbelievable.

He has his locker right next to hers yet she acts like he has some kind of illness one second then acknowledges him another? Either she has some major issues or something is being left out of the story.

On one hand I get the impression that she doesn't like him and is trying to distance her self as much as possible. Then on the other hand I can see her playing the shy type and uncertain how to behave. Perhaps her friends might be causing additional conflict for her. Maybe they don't like him so she is pulled between her friends opinion and her like of him?

I am skeptical of the whole thing, because some of the details just don't add up. If it were me, I would not have handled it how he did.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2010 05:23 am
From what you have described . . . .
This girl is socially immature.
She has a crush on you and prefers it from afar.
Do you really have energy for all this? Because I have a feeling that you will be doing everything in the realtionship.

0 Replies
 
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2010 05:43 am
@Ragman,
Ragman asked:
Quote:
Why not ask her on FB? Stop fantasizing and make it real.


The original poster had said:
Quote:
I sent a friend request on Facebook a month but she rejected me even though she's friends with most of my best friends and she never has real life contact with them. I figured she didn't like me but then the other behavior continued.


She rejected him as a friend on facebook- that's the main reason he can't ask her out on facebook.
Although I agree that he shouldn't. Maybe she rejected him as a friend on facebook because she doesn't want to play out what should be personal and private moments in her life in front of an audience.
And if that's the reason, I'd say that makes her the opposite of socially immature - that makes her more socially mature than a lot of 'adults' who live out their life on this 'stage'.

I get a little bit of the sense that this poster is injecting himself more than is warranted as the reason or motivation for some of this girl's behavior.
He says 'She sits facing me in the cafeteria...' What? Maybe that's just where she likes to sit. Maybe she's not even aware of you. Could it be that since you're always very aware of her that you seat yourself where you can look at her?
Maybe she's just clumsy in general. Maybe she's always dropping her papers and books and it doesn't matter who's around- you know-maybe you only see her do it around you because that's the only time you're there to see her do it...get it?

Why do you call her shy if you see her being talkative and laughing with her friends and other people?

She sounds like a girl who doesn't know you and is being polite on the occasions when your paths cross or when she is confronted by you.

I'll tell you what I would do if I were you. I'd get a female friend of yours to say to her ,'You know that guy, so and so (insert your name here) - he seems nice and friendly and sort of cute in his own way - what do you think of him?'
And then I'd ask my friend to tell me what the shy girl said and you could proceed from there.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2010 09:08 am
@aidan,
Here's the thing. I've seen this scenario before in many posts by newbies. Spots hasn't commented in days, but yet there are all these replies which required time, forethought and caring. Who here thinks there was real sincerity for this issue? Unless Spots has no idea on how to return to the thread and finds his way back, this is a dead issue.

moving on
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2010 09:20 am
@Ragman,
Hi Ragman,
I have no reason to doubt his sincerity. It appears to be a cry for help.
If not, I am mistaken, and my advice goes to the wall. Anyone in a similar position that encounters this thread will likely gain from it though, I believe.

How is your weekend thus far, Ragman, Brilliant! I hope?
Mark...
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2010 09:32 am
@mark noble,
Hi Mark!

And thanks for validating what I suspect was the case here. Eventually, if Spots was sincere but inexperienced he'll find his way back. The tone of the note seems quite like one of those afternoon made-for-teen programs.

My experience here on A2K has been over my years (and on Abuzz, the old orig forum) that I try to take these 'cries for help' seriously, even if they don't appear sincere. Other members have opened my eyes to the value of using that behavior. The reasoning is that somewhere in the details may be some sincere portion of the truth. Or, even more simply, advice posted here can help others who might be reading and in a similar circumstance.

On a different note, if in those other Philo threads we disagree, I hope I don't come across as disagreeable. I sometimes type 'stream of consciousness' style replies and my manner might come across as gruff or not as friendly as I really am in RT.

Thanks for asking - my weekend is a bit dull..but I'm working on it. Locally, the weather here's a bit oppressive unless you are submerged in water or stay in a/c. I've never experienced weather like this for days on end. Apparently this is just the way it is here is Sarasota FL. I'll deal with it.

How's your w/e?

Russ
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2010 10:54 am
@Ragman,
Hi Russ!

I guess we also have to understand that it is FROM these teen-progs that most teenagers have developed their current mindsets on how to behave and react. "Does the show reflect the teen, or the teen reflect the show"?

Gone are the days of self-discovery for the young of this earth, I guess.

Russ, I don't EVER hold someones opinion against them, my friend. I respect that everyone sees things differently and am glad we all do so. I have no ill-feelings for anyone that ever existed - Such are/were their paths before them.

It is unusually dry and hot over here too (S.Wales - UK). Areas that were flooded last year now have hosepipe bans in place.
But, it always remains within the spectrum of bearable. No extremes in these parts, I kinda appreciate that.

My weekend............Fantastic! Thank you Russ. I am alive and healthy - That's all it takes for me to be happy.

I hope it cools down soon for you, my friend.
Best wishes, Sir!

Mark...
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2010 11:44 am
@mark noble,
Thanks for you positive outlook, Mark.

Yes, it will cool down here..around October.
0 Replies
 
lufoooo2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Aug, 2010 08:29 am
I take it your only method of communication is fb then, like you havent got her number or know where she lives? if fb is the only method, then message her (im pretty sure you can message people who arent your friends) and say something like 'meet me in ___ at 3 on saturday? x' make sure its somewhere fairly public and noisy, cus if she is shy, you're likely to need the hustle and bustle of passer bys to fill in any awkward moments. when she gets there give her like a single rose or something and tell her how you feel. Practice beforehand so you dont get all mixed up with what your saying, keep it short, but to the point. if she doesnt turn up then chances are shes not into you, just makesure she has time to read it. best of luck Smile
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Aug, 2010 01:03 pm
@lufoooo2,
Hi Lufooo!

This thread-poster never came back.

Kind regards!
mark...
0 Replies
 
 

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