Do You Care?

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I have been sat here thinking and analysing and damn-it-all "feeling";
Why do I care so much about what people who do not care for me think of me?
Why do I care so much about what people who do care for me think of me?

Why cant I believe and accept that what others think of me does not matter as much as what I think and know of myself?

Why would someone rather be thought of as uncaring?
Why would someone rather be thought of a scaring?

Do people who care less what what others think, think they are being strong or weak?
Are they being strong or weak?
Do people who care more what others think, think they are being strong or weak?
Are they being strong or weak?

Is there a way to care less about what someone thinks and still take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?
Is there a way to care more about what someone thinks and still take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?
Is there a way to care less about what someone thinks and still not take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?
Is there a way to care more about what someone thinks and still not take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?

So,
Do you care?
More about the thoughts of those who care about you?
More about your thoughts of those you do care about?
More about the thoughts of those who do not care about you?
More about your thoughts of those you do not care about?
And do you care less about any of them or less about you?

Could you care less?
Could you care more?
Could you take or give more care?
Could you take or give more care less?

Is there a right or wrong way to care less or care more about your self?
Is there a right or wrong way to care less or more about others?

Is ignorance about caring less or more about yourself or others?
Is awareness about caring less or more about yourself or others?

Do you care more about care more?
or
Do you care less about care more?
or
Do you care more about care less?
or
Do you care less about care less?

Do you care less or more about care more?
or
Do you care less or more about care less?

Hope you enjoyed yourself,
and any answer to any question or asking your own is welcomed.

All my best, sometime sun

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You are exhausting. Do you exhaust yourself? Whew. All those questions!

No, I don't care much about what people think of me. Why not? They don't really know me. And they could very well misinterpret what they see or think they know, so unless they want to tell me and I want to straighten them out, they will never know what I really meant by what I said.

I don't care about a whole lot, actually. I like what I like and I sure don't over-analyze or even plain analyze most of what goes on.

It doesn't matter how much you analyze or think you understand something/someone because how do you know if you're right? You could be dead wrong! So... then what?

Any by the way, I don't think this should be under Philosophy - I think it should be under a totally different category like A Zillion Questions.

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

What you are doing is called flooding.
Why not pick a few questions that you REALLY want answered and ask them?

Those questions aren't related to philosophy. They are just musings of self-dialogue and your own introspection.

There's no way anyone could answer most or even many of these if they wanted. how do you expect anyone to answer questions you need to ask yourself?

Should you choose to narrow your questions down, then people will pay more attention. However, it's your choice, but soon people will no longer respond or read your queries.

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

hi sometime-
i used to care to the point that it was disabling. then i decided it was more important that whatever they thought about me it should be based on an accurate evaluation so they would need to know the truth about me before it mattered. then i thought i should consider the source of who thought what. i spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to reconcile being myself and not being offensive...or boring or scary to others.

i dont think we can seriously not care-human beings are social animals, and they dont thrive when they are hermits. but there is such a thing as caring too much. maybe all we can hope for is a balance between being something that satisfies our own self image and projecting that part of ourself that is most acceptable to others. the important thing is to preserve the integrity of the spirit. the community you are in could make a big difference. it is a big world, and i lived most of my life on the wrong side of it.

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

Hi there, sun,

I am going to give a brief answer because I can relate to analyzing how much I care. Many people tell me "don't care so much", or they tell me "care about this or that, but not the other thing". It's bothersome so I conducted research into it for my personal gain.
In times when I don't care what other people think, but I DO care about my own, it has resulted in people viewing me as apathetic. Really, this is fairly normal so I fit right in.
In times when I care what other people think and sacrifice what I think for their sake, it always ends in them taking advantage of me. This makes no one genuinely happy.
In times when I care what other people think and what I think, there is simply too much caring to go around and it results in general fatigue.
Etc

What I ended up concluding was this:

Care about yourself, first and foremost. I don't think it is possible to know who you truly are, but you certainly can know what's best for your happiness.
As far as caring about what other people think is concerned, it is very wise to listen to only those whose minds you respect. I chose these people carefully and am mindful that what they say is still biased by their own will to care about themselves first and foremost.

I hope this is what you were looking for. It is never wrong to ask questions. And I believe that any question can be philosophical. Sometimes I think people forget what philosophy means...

Enjoy your night, sun

A Lyn

1 Reply

@Mame,

Mame wrote:

You are exhausting. Do you exhaust yourself? Whew. All those questions!

Yes I often exhaust myself, and although I can see the trouble I may cause for others after the fact, believe it or not I try first to be a pleasure, because this tonight was an utter pleasure in dispelling my own fears.
You will hopefully come to see I use the all mighty question to sooth myself rather than bruise any one else.

Mame wrote:

No, I don't care much about what people think of me. Why not? They don't really know me. And they could very well misinterpret what they see or think they know, so unless they want to tell me and I want to straighten them out, they will never know what I really meant by what I said.

I wish I did not care so much about what others thought of me, but I think this is because I so wish they would come to know me.
And a misrepresentation could stifle a true relationship.
Yes but could not someones care less attitude make you falter and not be able to give yourself solidly?
Could not their interpretation skew your own view?
Has not ever anyone else's view ever made you think so little of yourself you find it hard to give what you truly wanted to in the first place?
Does not the reception of an idea mean you would spend more care and time analysing it and giving it to others?

Mame wrote:

I don't care about a whole lot, actually. I like what I like and I sure don't over-analyze or even plain analyze most of what goes on.

I will take you on your word, but forgive me my doubt you "don't care a whole lot" as you have taken time and care in answering me.
Or are you simply answering yourself here for all to see?
I wish I was more like you, but then I would not have had the pleasure of putting this together for you tonight, so cant be to sore at my appreciation of you as it means that you have had the chance to appreciate me.
Not a boast, just a thanks I has the ability to reach you tonight and care what you write.

Mame wrote:

It doesn't matter how much you analyze or think you understand something/someone because how do you know if you're right? You could be dead wrong! So... then what?

I know this is absolute truth, and yet I still hope to believe that I will find my measure in someone and that they care for me, because I believe it when I hear someone say they care for me.
I may never know for certain but I try to err on the side of delusion when someone says they love me, rather than doubt then, I would rather be shown as a fool for this trust than be shown a doubter later when they quit me for my doubt.
Do you see?
Thank you for this answer, it gives me a source of strength.

Mame wrote:

Any by the way, I don't think this should be under Philosophy - I think it should be under a totally different category like A Zillion Questions.

No the philosophy is more in the thought process than the simple question,
It means the line of questioning is open to a philosophical over view and overhaul.
What is philosophy after all other than asking questions?
As with a lot of philosophy you can never be sure of the answer.

All my best and thank you for your declaration and truth.

0 Replies

@sometime sun,

I think that everyone cares about how others think of him, especially with regard to what he thinks is important about himself. It may be looks, or intelligence, or how personable he is, or some combination. But I do not believe anyone who would say that he doesn't care about what others think of him. The only question is how much you care about it, and what role it plays in your life. Caring too much about what others think of you can cripple you, and that, of course, is terrible. But then, remember that those other people also care about what you believe about them. That ought to relieve some of the stress.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Ragman wrote:

What you are doing is called flooding.
Why not pick a few questions that you REALLY want answered and ask them?

Because the questions are meant to reach as many as possible, my own choice of question may not address someones elses answer.
Do you see?
I try to be as unbiased as possible, in asking so many as to gain the most answers.
I have my own questions and my own answers.
My threads 'try' to be as open as possible so as to let any other who has a question or answer ask or answer.
Because my question or answer wont always go so far as to address another who may have the same concern but a different question or answer than mine.
Does that make sense?
I hope so I would not like to be coined senseless.

Ragman wrote:

Those questions aren't related to philosophy. They are just musings of self-dialogue and your own introspection.

The question is the philosophy.
Introspection is often the birth of any philosophy.

Ragman wrote:

There's no way anyone could answer most or even many of these if they wanted. how do you expect anyone to answer questions you need to ask yourself?

No but someone may find connection to just one question and therefore like to give their answer.
I would hope that by asking a question in an open forum, I was not just looking for answers but for some one else to ask the same question of themselves.
I hope that made sense.
I often leave off, answer one, some or all, or ask one of your own.

Ragman wrote:

Should you choose to narrow your questions down, then people will pay more attention. However, it's your choice, but soon people will no longer respond or read your queries.

But I don't get this as it narrows not me but you.
I am trying to be as open as possible.
You don't have to drink it all,
just take a sip.
I certainly don't expect anyone to answer all of these, but just one question that connects is good enough for me.

Thank you for your time and care.

0 Replies

I am afraid I have run myself down again,
But just so as you know,
salima my solid love, A Lyn Fei my fresh desire, and kennethamy my task master I will have to reply tomorrow as I am out of time, and have learned to be awake and rested is to be my best for you and myself.
In other words sorry I did not get to you, I regret it but hope to be able to make it up to you tomorrow.
All my best.
And good night.

0 Replies

@sometime sun,

[quote="sometime sun"]
I have been sat here thinking and analyzing and damn-it-all "feeling"; [/quote]

Perhaps you are thinking, analyzing and feeling more than you should!?

[quote="sometime sun"] Why do I care so much about what people who do not care for me think of me?[/quote]

You can’t do that. It’s not your place to think about what others think of you because there are just to many of those people. All you can do is care/consider/recognize/love another.......................one at a time.

[quote="sometime sun"] Why do I care so much about what people who do care for me think of me? [/quote]

Why? Do you want to give it back? How about passing it on to another.

That was easy, sun, next question, ha!

William

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

Quote:

Why would someone rather be thought of a scaring?

I couldn't scare less.

Hope this helps sometimes.

1 Reply

I didn't even care enough to read more than the first few questions (before I saw the whole lot)

Generic answer then - Everyone cares with some part of them, while other parts of them may not.

0 Replies

@sometime sun,

sometime sun wrote:

I have been sat here thinking and analysing and damn-it-all "feeling";
Why do I care so much about what people who do not care for me think of me?
Why do I care so much about what people who do care for me think of me?

Why cant I believe and accept that what others think of me does not matter as much as what I think and know of myself?

Why would someone rather be thought of as uncaring?
Why would someone rather be thought of a scaring?

Do people who care less what what others think, think they are being strong or weak?
Are they being strong or weak?
Do people who care more what others think, think they are being strong or weak?
Are they being strong or weak?

Is there a way to care less about what someone thinks and still take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?
Is there a way to care more about what someone thinks and still take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?
Is there a way to care less about what someone thinks and still not take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?
Is there a way to care more about what someone thinks and still not take care of the self and the others thoughts or care more or less?

So,
Do you care?
More about the thoughts of those who care about you?
More about your thoughts of those you do care about?
More about the thoughts of those who do not care about you?
More about your thoughts of those you do not care about?
And do you care less about any of them or less about you?

Could you care less?
Could you care more?
Could you take or give more care?
Could you take or give more care less?

Is there a right or wrong way to care less or care more about your self?
Is there a right or wrong way to care less or more about others?

Is ignorance about caring less or more about yourself or others?
Is awareness about caring less or more about yourself or others?

Do you care more about care more?
or
Do you care less about care more?
or
Do you care more about care less?
or
Do you care less about care less?

Do you care less or more about care more?
or
Do you care less or more about care less?

Hope you enjoyed yourself,
and any answer to any question or asking your own is welcomed.

All my best, sometime sun

You would be best advised to stop obsessing about yourself quite so much and stop fishing for aceptance from others

Either that or become a performing artist.

1 Reply

CARELESS
Glenn Miller
- words and music by Lew Quadling, Eddy Howard and Dick Jurgens

Careless
Now that you've got me loving you
You're careless
Careless in everything you do
You break appointments and think you are smart
If you're not careful
You'll break my heart

Careless
Now that my bridges all are burned
You're careless
Careless in things where I'm concerned
Are you just careless as you seem to be
Or do you just care less for me?

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

Thank you Sun, you proved something to everyone here once again. The other thread you wrote before this one, I got personally attacked for critiquing your line of questioning and this whole thread has been pretty much nothing but critiquing your line of questioning. No one took you up on your over all point at all. Just for that reason, I am going to.

We are definitely social creatures, although everyone varies on just how much. But at the same time we have our retreat moments. Even if you find someone you are totally comparable with and get a long with in every situation or scenario you will eventually get on each others nerves at some point. Keep this concept in mind because I want to bring up some other points as well and then connect them all together.

Another aspect about the human condition is that even though we "praise" people who are not judgmental, our brains are actually designed to be judgmental. It is a survival instinct to deduce and reduce a person, as a way to determine intent. Now we have a dichotomy with modern society, since we don't have to rely very heavily on determining if the person standing next to you is going to try to kill you for your meal or will you need to run away from the tiger hiding in the bushes outside your house. Keep this aspect in mind too.

The last part of human behavior that I want to bring up is the insistent need to be accepted. This also varies from person to person. You can try to make the argument that there are certain individuals who want to be a recluse and thrive in that atmosphere. However; i don't think it is something chosen but instead more like forced upon them in two ways. Either they have not found others who accept them or they refuse to surround themselves with people who they don't accept.

So these three aspects to human condition are evolutionary in nature and have survivability aspects to them. We are community species which means we rely on others of our species for our own survival. So this immediately means that we require an ability to not only interact with others of our species but we must also understand how to interact with them. So we have developed quite a few skills in determining the most suitable method.

Some of these traits are taught, and others are just innate. The combination will determine what kind of person you will be within the social group. They each play an important role too. You can't have a fully functioning society full of extroverts that are always struggling for the attention. It will break down in a constant non stop attempt to be the center of attention, and nothing will get done. You also can't have a society full of leaders either because there will just be a constant battle for power. You also can't have a society full of introverts either, because they won't interact enough to rely on each other.

You need to have a diverse mesh of them for the proper functioning. So we have developed psychological ways of determining who is who and this will dictate how we interact with them. By recognizing what the next person is, will ultimately determine how you will function. So this type of interaction that you are referring to is nothing more than this whole process of determining where you are, what group you belong to, and the method by which everyone else determines what group you belong to.

(granted there are more social groups than I have mentioned, but I just wanted to use the most extreme examples for quicker analysis)

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

Hi Sun
You really are a deep thinker my friend and you seem to cover every angle of your topic.

Here's my take on caring.

I don't care of others intentions are to be at war with me.
I do care about my intention to be at peace with others.

I don't care if others offend me.
I do care about not offending others.

Others have thier own attitudes, its the right attitude for them.
I have my own attitude, its the right attitude for me.

Every one is perfect just as they are, and they don't need to be corrected.
I am not perfect as I am, and I do need correction.

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

I am sad to say but I think what you are observing is neurology please forgive all of us for the way we are as we have very little control of how our minds preceive things.

Just as you can be full of love and want it to be no other way, as this your nature,[neurolgy] Their will also be some of your descendents that will be opposite of you and this is not by their choice.

1 Reply

The only reason, in my opinion, to worry about what someone thinks of you is to feed your ego. If you are living by ego, you aren't living.

Have you read The Four Agreements? One of the Agreements addresses this particularly well. It says that Nothing is personal. If someone thinks you are____________(fill in whatever characteristic you like, be it positive or negative) that doesn't make you what they think. You are, separate from their thoughts, what you are.

For example, if you filled in the blank with " kind" does their thinking that you are kind make you kind? No! What YOU do, say and think makes you kind or unkind, whichever it may be. Their thoughts did not determine that.

If someone says you are selfish, does that make it so? No! That is their opinion. Only you can determine through your own thought processes and evaluation whether or not they are correct, and for that matter, whether or not you want to change that aspect of yourself. Some people are perfectly willing to just say "Yes, I'm selfish and that's okay."

Either way, it isn't their thoughts or opinions that make you what you are, YOU do. YOU define yourself. Allowing others to do so is your ego at work. What does your ego need that is fed by worrying about what others think? Do you need to be a martyr? Why? Do you like feeling bad about yourself? Why? Put that little demon away and start living for yourself.

2 Replies

I am sorry I did not get to you today as have been diverted elsewhere.
This will be my first port of call tomorrow,
and also thought I should add that although every question here has a wandering and direction and investigation and answer I do enjoy highly doing this type of thread first post because I see it clearly as an Art form of critical thought and processional thinking and deduction.
Fringed within surrealists delusional.
I find the original-post most powerfully beautiful.
Deductive and delusive.
Recipe of desires intrusive, instructive grades inspiration .
Is for me an Art,
as much of-all the bright inspection, of the dim, investigation.
Mathematical Musings.
I know you may, not see the beauty, but I really-do.
Art of thought, Art of process, Art of structure, Art of truth.
Art of a Philosophy, lustre.
Philosophy of a Art, muster.
Utterly beautiful construction constriction.
Utterly beautiful magical-logical condition.
If it helps think of them as I do;
You wont get as far if you just rush through;
an incantation mystery riddle-razzle,
an equation problem puzzle-middle.
Lose theoretics,
Tight aesthetics.
Waves of-the expressions seasoning,
Dives of-the depressions reasoning,
Liquid-fluid-flowing-thinking,

You can see me thinking people,
You can track my very thoughts.

Quite-ingenious and original, of my asking-always, to-be the pleasure.
How's-this-for-caring-more, of-my-own-thoughts, which measure?

All my best, this one got away form me a bit.
And I am glad of a good days muscular musing.

sometime sun

0 Replies

I used to be obsessed about what people thought of me. A friend of mine put it all into perspective when he told me, "people don't think of you nearly as often as you think they do."

3 Replies

Do You Care?

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