Do You Care?

@reasoning logic,

Don't be sad (sun smile)

"Family of man" I hear in these words.
All deaf, all sound sensitive.

@squinney,

squinney wrote:

The only reason, in my opinion, to worry about what someone thinks of you is to feed your ego. If you are living by ego, you aren't living.

But I also think at least thinking about others thinking (not necessarily about just you) can starve the ego.

squinney wrote:

Have you read The Four Agreements? One of the Agreements addresses this particularly well. It says that Nothing is personal. If someone thinks you are____________(fill in whatever characteristic you like, be it positive or negative) that doesn't make you what they think. You are, separate from their thoughts, what you are.

No not read it.
Shame of it is I have many words to fill in that blank with.
Over population of words does not necessarily mean you agree with them just that so many negative ones keep coming to mind.
Yes separate from there thoughts but regrettably not from my own.

squinney wrote:

For example, if you filled in the blank with " kind" does their thinking that you are kind make you kind? No! What YOU do, say and think makes you kind or unkind, whichever it may be. Their thoughts did not determine that.

But my thoughts of their thoughts can influence me and how I manoeuvre through existence.
I agree totally with what you are saying.

squinney wrote:

If someone says you are selfish, does that make it so? No! That is their opinion. Only you can determine through your own thought processes and evaluation whether or not they are correct, and for that matter, whether or not you want to change that aspect of yourself. Some people are perfectly willing to just say "Yes, I'm selfish and that's okay."

"Yes, I'm selfless and that's not okay" (smile)

squinney wrote:

Either way, it isn't their thoughts or opinions that make you what you are, YOU do. YOU define yourself. Allowing others to do so is your ego at work. What does your ego need that is fed by worrying about what others think? Do you need to be a martyr? Why? Do you like feeling bad about yourself? Why? Put that little demon away and start living for yourself.

It is not even that I think what they think may be true, just that it is their truth. And as it is something about me is it not my duty to show them my truth?
I wonder about ego here,
Is it more egotistical to think less about and others thoughts and more of your own, or more about others and less about your own?
Is martyrdom a good example? as to be a martyr means ultimately shedding of something and being unavailable to receive anything else.
Martyrs don't do it for their self they do it for you.
I get your point but I think we disagree what martyr represents.

Thank for you reply there is simple truth there.
Simple truth being the most accessible.

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@soozoo,

It is not predominantly about the existence of the others thought it is existence of your own that is the hitch.

I am mainly obsessed with what I think of myself, and that anothers thoughts sparse as they may be may be more correct.
I don't like being wrong about myself.

Thank you this is a booster shot in the arm.

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@sometime sun,

Would you please use layman's terms so that I can have a more indepth understading of what you mean? Thanks. RSL

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@A Lyn Fei,

A book came to mind when reading this, called 'The Celestine Prophecy' I think you would get a kick from it.

There was once a friend of mine who knew me better than anyone else and she used to predict of me brutally even better than I could of myself and show me my self deception clearly.
She was/is the most important person my life has ever known

Others peoples thoughts of you do matter just so long as they how to change yours.

All my best,

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@djjd62,

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

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@sometime sun,

Hi Sun,
Hope you are ok.
Djj has a habit of turning up with the brilliantly apt.

xxx
Mark...

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@soozoo,

Young enough to know I should know better by now I should say.
My ignorance is what determines my youth and sadly find it is not always best and should have been by now grown out of.
There is a good title for a novel or teen comedy/drama,
"The Age of Ignorance"
but definitely not a mellow-drama, I mean not a melodrama.

I wish I was the crazy granny or grumpy old man already, but I have a very real fear my ignorance and youth are going to stay with me always.
If you've ever read Peter Pan you might know how tragic eternal childhood can be.
Luckily I can call myself 'Child' and equate it with a faithful strength and awareness.

Wise is not always intelligent.

Thank you so much for your words of reconciliation and realisation, this sun shines for you.

All my best

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@mark noble,

somebody (in real life) once asked if i could reference a song for any topic, and i said i could try Razz

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@stevecook172001,

Oh yes, no bad,
I even think I agree,
or at least understand why you proposed what you did,
as to most it is a real and cogent truth.
But then again I am not 'most'. (smile)

All my best

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@Pemerson,

Pemerson wrote:

Sometime Sun, I don't understand what you think you said that resulted in people here criticizing you, not caring about your feelings. But, you called a bunch of people on this forum "scary." And, now, you are obsessing about maybe they don't care about your feelings? Did you care about theirs?

Did I care about theirs?
Yes, but not enough.
I did not just open this thread because of 'that' incident, this thread plays to my mind more than just on one 'that' occasion.
This is not just about my feelings about 'that', if it were just 'that' I would have probably dismissed it because I would then be someone who never doubts or question him self.
I hope I at least showed this is a mathematical overhaul, self inspection, topic worry, thought awareness investigation and ego evaluation. I hope.

Pemerson wrote:

I think maybe you just mis-worded your first post. Are you certain that you think these people's opinions are scary, as in "frightening," to you? It's probably their anger that is scary. Anger is frightening in others, at times, and some here did explain why they appear angry. They spoke of how they had been treated, spoken to, before you came along with your "scary" remark. If you had said, "Your anger is scary to me," the ensuing firestorm could have been eliminated, maybe. You could have then asked, "Why are you so angry?" Then, we're discussing anger instead of scary.

Mis-worded certainly,
yes I am certain opinion and ideas are scary to me,
yes and anger scares me also, I thought I made this clear, but should al;so make clear it is not just others anger that scares me it is my own,
don't know how to handle the thing,
I opened a thread before a while ago called "angers cure" it will be in the archive if you wish to find it.
Please don't take this the wrong way but I am over that whole mess.
Now is the time to address my deficiencies so as not make the same mistakes again.

Pemerson wrote:

You made a statement about a group of people, perhaps even a judgment call. They are scary because their views differ from yours? You are apparently very young? Live a little while, and you may change your views too.

Again the statement was about myself, it was not 'meant' to imply my thoughts were warranted or that my fear was/is an intelligent or rational one.
I have explained I did not mean to say they were scary, I meant I was scared.
To my mind and sensibilities 'that' is over and done.
Finished and out of my way.

All my thanks

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@reasoning logic,

Don't be sad about what you think or share.

Man is both deaf to himself as he is deaf to others.

Makes you wonder how what we hear is not all selective?

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Sun,
You are very welcome, my friend. A poem just for you:

I try and try
And then, like the rain
I fall
Then lie
Soaking in the sun
Until I am lifted
And come together
With the great
Everything

Mark,
I will ponder the song. Admittedly, the lyrics need some absorption in my brain. It is lovely, though.

Of course, a song in return:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIcnZbkqYuA

1 Reply

@mark noble,

Yes there is something bright and focussed about him.

We like you djjd, we think you're great.

Keep that as your thought today, "I am brilliant" because you have at least two people here who agree with it.

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@A Lyn Fei,

Lovely,
I wish I had one for you right now.

I will think on something.

Just a second;

I try and try
And then a likely absence,
I ask why, why, why
I bawl,
I crawl,
Out of the shading ignore
Hit the deck sun sore
After the burn comes tanner
Comes emotions planner
Flight on the wings of recovery
Light on the heels of discovery
Come forth, come forth
You will hear my seated cry
Together humming lullaby
Under one roof
We will be expected to blow the top ooff
Open sky
Heavens high.

Reply reply,

All my best
sometime sun

1 Reply

@sometime sun,

Thank you, sun.

You are a lovely person.

A Lyn

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