IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 12:50 pm
@firefly,
I've always been small and my brother is small as well. It's not just how I eat, but it's also my genetics. I could gain a few pounds, and I'm okay with that. I have no fear of being chubby. I'm not insecure with my body or how I look. I just don't feel that my weight is as large of a deal as people are making it out to be. I have yearly physicals and check ups. I've been to hospitals for panic attacks and was thoroughly checked. I've also been thoroughly checked for school sports. Every doctor out of the many I have been to recognized I was underweight, but did not feel it was a problem. I think about 10 doctors to 1 is a sign that I am a bit underweight, but still healthy. My doctor that prescribed me to gain weight didn't feel I was unhealthy. He just simply felt that gaining weight would be good for me. He didn't really portray any concern at all.

Irregular menstrual cycles could mean more things than one. I am under a lot of stress with my life, especially curriculum-wise. My best friend is 5' 3", and 140 lbs. She also has the same problem I do. She is quite obviously not under weight. I may miss at times, and other times I don't for half a year. If I was too skinny to do so, I wouldn't have problems sometimes and not other times. It would be a constant problem.

I haven't had anemia for a long time. I had anemia while I was in the process of moving, transferring schools, and fighting with my extended family. The lack of rest, calmness, and proper sit-down meals were what caused me to have anemia. I didn't gain it simply because I just wasn't eating because I was scared of my weight. It had nothing to do with my weight or thoughts about my weight.

My excessive exercise was not because I enjoyed it. I had track and field, which I was originally supposed to be a sprinter for. That's definitely not excessive. Due to my high endurance and ability to compete well against older students, I was moved to endurance running. I didn't go into track with the thought of being an endurance runner. I did P90X to motivate my mother to continue because she had a partner to do it with. When I started losing weight, I stopped. I don't want to lose weight or stay at the weight I'm at. I'm okay with gaining weight, and to be honest, I was looking forward to being a little heavier this summer.

I don't feel concern for my weight. I do make it a point to not miss breakfast, lunch, or supper. I took vitamins and snacked. Just because a person is small does not mean they have anorexia. I realize I am underweight and I'd be healthier a little heavier. I eat until I'm full, which is usually two plates a meal. I'm still small and my weight doesn't change much. I don't have denial. I have no real problem with discussing my weight, eating habits, or anything else about myself. My doctor is aware of my weight and cycles. I was going to be given birth control to help regulate them properly, but seeing as I'm not active, I decided against it.

All of my recent blood draws were completely normal and my levels were also normal. I have panic attacks. A lot of people do. I know my anxiety is caused by a long distance relationship as well as my tough schooling. I don't feel stress in any other portion of my life.
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 12:53 pm
@firefly,
I don't use portion control. That's why I eat way more protein than needed [I'm a sucker for meats]. I was saying I knew portion control to let you know that, yes, I am well educated on healthy eating. I've had a health class based solely around healthy habits and good food intake. I'm not worried about being chubby. I wouldn't worry about my weight unless I was about 140.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 01:26 pm
@IceB0x,
Don't let arm-chair psychologists suggest maladies that aren't the case for you. You come across as a lady who states and knows what is going on with your body and mind.

However, if that assumption on my part is wrong (and you're in denial about an eating disorder), some of these symptoms can be similar to what you have described. What makes me think you're not suffering from an eating disorder is that your not controlling portions and you wrote that your nutritional intake is 2000 calories per day -- steadily. However, saying you could stand to gain a few pound is minimizing this and may show a disconnect. Truthfully, IMHO, you can stand to gain about 15 lbs, regardless.

The issue to me is still a bit scary about the possibility of your over-training, however. There seems to be a lot of focus exhibited on your part about details even many athletes and nutritionists might not get into. It's a little surprising this level of detail from a 17-yr-old lady who is not trying out for serious competitive athletics.

In a semi-related matter, what does your boyfriend (in profile) think of all this? Perhaps you can share that with us?
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 01:38 pm
@Ragman,
I do understand your concern, but I literally haven't worked out for two months. I've done nothing but my schoolwork, figure out my senior project, and sit around. I'm not concerned about training or anything; my goal was to motivate my mother. I naturally like sports, especially challenging sports, which I can't exactly avoid demanding needs. With any sport comes some training and exercise. I've been in volleyball and track and field. I know when to turn down my exercise and when I'm okay. I think being aware of details is a good thing, even if I don't abide by them. I'm a knowledge seeker.

If you mean about my episodes, he simply tells me it's just stress from schoolwork. He encouraged me to go to doctors though, but he was content with their reaction of 'it's okay'. If you meant my weight, he's comfortable with my current weight or if I gained weight. Weight isn't an issue for him.
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 01:47 pm
@IceB0x,
Have you spoken with any of your coaches about your symptoms? What do they say about it?
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 01:52 pm
@Butrflynet,
While I did volleyball, my symptoms didn't really exist. My lifestyle was the same now as it was then. I had some of my symptoms during my field and track. My coach wasn't exactly a caring coach. A lot of my team was wrapped up in the first two weeks. I complained of a hurt leg [I have had physical therapy for it; my cartilage couldn't keep up with the growth of my bones previously], and he told me I still needed to keep running. I ended up going to the hospital and getting a brace because I had stretched my tendons/ligaments. I wouldn't have trusted his opinion no matter what he had said about my symptoms.
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 02:27 pm
@IceB0x,
Quote:
I know to many, the general idea of being 5' 4" and 94 lbs sounds sickly underweight. Personally, I feel given my body type, that I am comfortable with how I look weight-wise. If I gained 15 pounds, I'd be decently chubby.


No, if you gained 15 pounds, you'd be approaching a normal weight for your height, You would not be chubby, but you might think you looked chubby.

Quote:
I just don't feel that my weight is as large of a deal as people are making it out to be...

Every doctor out of the many I have been to recognized I was underweight, but did not feel it was a problem. I think about 10 doctors to 1 is a sign that I am a bit underweight, but still healthy. My doctor that prescribed me to gain weight didn't feel I was unhealthy.



When doctors tell you to gain weight it is because your current weight is not at a healthy level. They are indicating a problem to you.

Doctors may not become really concerned or alarmed about low body weight until it becomes really drastic. Unfortunately, that may make many cases of subclinical anoxeria progress to full blown anorexia nervosa over time. Doctors notoriously ignore many incipient problems, and they may be particularly bad at recognizing certain psychiatric problems in the earlier stages. But, the fact remains, the doctors you have seen feel your body weight is too low. So, you have gotten medical opinions, which you are choosing to ignore.

You are the one who should be concerned about your abnormally low body weight. You don't feel fine and healthy. You have the "episodes" with loss of vision that caused you to start this thread. Your low body weight, and less than adequate food intake, could be affecting your blood pressure, your circulation, your heartrate, and causing all of the symptoms you have in those episodes.

I am not saying you have full blown anorexia nervosa. I am saying that you might be in the early states of developing that condition. What is going on with you appears to be episodic in nature--sometimes you get the "blackouts" more frequently than others. You can go weeks without getting them. Your menstrual periods vary in regularity. Perhaps your eating behavior varies too. You may go through periods where you eat more adequately than you do at other times. But, overall, on balance, you cannot maintain a normal weight for your height. When you did manage to put on weight, you couldn't maintain it, and you went back to being underweight. Everyone is so concerned about obesity these days we forget that being abnormally underweight is just as serious a problems, perhaps an even more serious problem, for an adolescent woman.

Yes, irregular menstrual cycles can be caused by other factors. But a leading factor is inadequate daily calorie intake and low body weight. Just because this is an episodic problem doesn't mean it is not related to your eating behavior. If you had more severe, or consistent, anorexia nervosa then your periods might stop altogether. What have you done to have your menstrual problems checked out? Where is your concern about this? Have you had your reproductive hormone levels measured? Do you know what they are? Do you know that taking birth control pills is not a good method to correct menstrual irregularities in underweight adolescent women? You must also gain weight, to bring the weight up to a normal level, in addition to taking hormones. If the body weight isn't increased, the birth control pills can create more problems. Check out the Internet and do some reading on this.

One thing you should also consider is whether your appetite is below normal. You say you eat until you are full, but that may not be enough, in fact, it's obviously not enough. The meaning of the word anorexia is simply loss of appetite. It becomes anorexia nervosa only when active attempts are made to restrict food intake. At the very least, you may have anorexia. And you may have the very early stages of anorexia nervosa. You are under stress, and stress is definitely a factor in all of this. Your panic attacks are another part of the whole picture, and they are certainly influenced by stress.

Your blood draws may have been normal, but they may not have tested everything they need to look at.

In your profile, you say you are possibly interested in studying psychology at college. The study of behavior is, indeed, a most interesting area. And you should begin with trying to make a much more honest and objective appraisal of your own behavior. You are clearly choosing to disregard some of the info you are getting from people, including doctors you have seen, particularly on the issue of your weight. You deny any connection between your physical symptoms, your eating behavior, and your problems with stress/anxiety, although all of these things may well be connected. If you don't look at the psychological components, you (and your doctors) may not be able to fully make sense of your physical symptoms. Your lifestyle may be creating physical problems for you. That you are not dealing with that lifestyle (including eating behavior) suggests some psychological component.

You really should think about seeing a therapist, in addition to getting continuing medical evaluation. You do admit you have panic attacks and, for that reason alone, therapy might be helpful. Simply taking medication to lessen an attack, or having to take medication constantly, to prevent an attack, is not always the best approach. If you can find better ways to deal with stress and anxiety, you might get rid of the problem and not need medication at all. Lessening stress and anxiety might also help you to be able to gain weight and maintain a normal weight. For someone, like yourself, who is interested in psychology, I would think you'd be quite curious about trying psychotherapy.

IceBox, don't be so fast to dismiss the things I've been saying to you. I really think I do know what I'm talking about when it comes to this stuff. Just mull it all over.







Pangloss
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 03:04 pm
I really think you need to see a psychiatrist. There are clearly a LOT of mental issues here- panic attacks, anxiety, probably hypochondriasis, perhaps anorexia...your food intake and weight could be affecting blood sugar and blood pressure levels negatively, which might be causing some of these episodes. They could also be anxiety-related.

5'4" and ~95 for a teenage girl I wouldn't say is "sickly underweight", but if you really think you'd be "a bit chubby" gaining 15lb....well, that's all in your head. You could gain 25lb and be perfectly fine.
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 03:21 pm
@Pangloss,
It's so ironic; I was just talking to Ragman about hypochondriacs. Anxiety over being young, a senior, a senior project, honors courses, and my college course.. it sounds natural to me? If I wasn't stressed out, then I would agree there is a problem. Anxiety causes panic attacks, which again, is normal for my situation. Again, I'm not anorexic. No, I'm not in denial. I have never complained about any health issue in my life. The only thing I have ever complained about was my knee problem, which was diagnosed, and I was sent to physical therapy for. My vision loss is the second thing in my life I've complained about. Does being a hypochondriac sound like it applies for a diagnosed knee problem and an undiagnosed vision loss? The only reason my vision loss isn't diagnosed is because my doctors don't care to take it seriously.

If you read my other post, I said I wouldn't be concerned with my weight unless I was about 140. Being 120 is not 140. Gaining 15 pounds wouldn't bother me. People are taking my 'a little weight' or 'a bit chubby' as a literal 'she thinks she'd be fat.' No, I don't. 120 is far from fat.

You guys are honestly becoming more harm than help. Instead of trying to help me, you're trying to tell me I'm anorexic when you definitely don't watch me eat. I apologize if I'm being rather dry, but I'd rather you just stop trying to give me advice.
Pangloss
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 03:28 pm
@IceB0x,
IceB0x wrote:

If I wasn't stressed out, then I would agree there is a problem. Anxiety causes panic attacks, which again, is normal for my situation.


Wow...panic attacks are NOT NORMAL for your situation. They're never normal, unless you're in a real life-or-death situation, like being in combat, or getting attacked by a bear...that type of stuff.

Quote:
You guys are honestly becoming more harm than help. Instead of trying to help me, you're trying to tell me I'm anorexic when you definitely don't watch me eat. I apologize if I'm being rather dry, but I'd rather you just stop trying to give me advice.


You asked for advice, and you're getting it. Sometimes the best advice is something that you don't want to hear. I'm not trying to offend you by telling you to go to a psychiatrist-- I genuinely think you need to see one, and I think it would help you greatly.
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 03:39 pm
@firefly,
Read my response after your post to the other person about how I feel about 15 pounds. I'd rather not repeat.

My mother makes meals every day, three times a day. I eat every meal, every day. I normally eat two plates a meal. Is this not enough? For example, an average meal to me is 4-5 pieces of pizza, maybe 2-3 tacos, maybe a big chicken salad. Does that sound too little to you? I eat the same thing my parents eat. I tend to eat more than they eat as well. Both of my parents weigh about 190-200 lbs. It's quite obvious my eating habits haven't changed at all. I've always been about "15%" underweight, but I have never had these problems until the last year and a half. Isn't that quite obvious that being underweight is not my problem? I have only grown an inch in the last two years. My weight wouldn't have caused a problem because I'm an inch taller unless I also had problems before I was an inch taller. An inch won't cause vision loss. If my eating significantly varied, then my weight would increase, then decrease steadily with successful and unsuccessful menstrual cycles. My weight is completely steady, no matter when I do/don't have them.

Other than vision loss when standing/showering, I feel completely healthy. My hair does not fall out, I have no skin problems, I've never had bone problems, I've never had any problem other than my knee cartilage as a child and my current vision problem. Stop basing my lifestyle and how I feel based on one thing you think I have.

My boyfriend has known me before and after my episodes. He pays more attention than anyone I know, and he can vouch that my eating habits and other lifestyle habits have not changed. My mother also pays close attention to my brother and I and she hasn't noticed any changes. I haven't missed anything, and neither have they.

I'm aware of why people gain anorexia. I'm also very introspective and I analyze why I do the things I do. I know myself, as well as my body, more than someone who has read a couple pages of comments does. Your reference to my interest in psychology was rather rude. I appreciate you taking the time to give your advice and opinions, but your help is no longer needed. Thank you.
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 03:45 pm
@Pangloss,
Almost 1 out of every 5 people have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. If everyone with an anxiety disorder was diagnosed, I'm sure it would be more like every 2 out of 5. That sounds decently high. That means out of me and four friends, one of us has a diagnosed anxiety problem. I didn't literally mean anxiety is normal. I mean having anxiety attacks when I have anxiety is not crazy. It doesn't mean I have a problem, either. If I explained my life, I'm sure it would sound much more reasonable than it does to someone who knows nothing about me.

I had asked for advice. I feel you and firefly have overstepped your boundaries. I know I'm not the only person that feels this way, although I'm not naming names. Because I've let you know I no longer need advice, you should respect my wishes and politely withhold any further advice. I don't feel that anorexia or any other psychological disorder is an insult or a personal attack. I just feel it's not helping me. Thank you.
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 04:37 pm
@IceB0x,
Quote:
Your reference to my interest in psychology was rather rude.


I certainly did not mean to be rude. I assume that when someone posts public info about themselves, in their profile, they are sharing it, and they expect it will be read.

Similarly, when someone starts a thread asking for input about something, I assume they want responses and opinions. I do not understand how I "overstepped my boundaries", since I was not aware there were boundaries in this situation, or on any other threads in A2K.

On any thread in A2K you will get responses from a variety of people, from all sorts of backgrounds. Some of these people will be more knowledgeable than others, and some will actually be experts in certain fields. Others will be able to offer helpful comments and insights based on the wealth of their own personal experience. Generally, the people here sincerely try to be helpful. There is no way you can assure, or control, the types of comments you will get, or even the direction a thread might take. In this thread you apparently wound up hearing some things you didn't like, and didn't agree with.

My comments in this thread were definitely well intentioned, as were the comments of all the other posters. I am sorry that you found my opinions less than helpful, or less in line with what you wanted to hear.

While I'm not sure it is really your prerogative to terminate a discussion, or decide which posters you want to hear from, and which ones you don't, I will gladly refrain from making further comments in this thread simply out of courtesy.
IceB0x
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 04:46 pm
@firefly,
I have no problem with being open about myself. I just felt your comment about my interest in psychology was out of spite.

I don't mind opinions. I didn't mean a boundary on information. I told you I didn't have anorexia. Instead of you respecting my personal opinion, you tried to force your information-lacking diagnosis on me. I appreciate the concern, but ultimately, my deny of your claim should be a hint that the information is irrelevant to me in some way or is not what I was looking for. I'm sure you're going to say it's not what I was looking for because I am in denial, I am unaware of my problem, or that I am searching for a single answer and others are impossible. All three answers are wrong. I just know it's not what I have. Please respect my professional opinion about myself. I know my body more than anyone over the internet does. Here, you'll tell me 'then why ask members of A2K about your body?' I wanted others opinions. After I dismissed yours, you should be willing enough to dismiss it also.

In future posts, it's nothing against your or anyone else. I just feel that your repetitive anorexia diagnosis is hindering. I have nothing against you or your advice. Please, don't take it personally. I don't mind you posting on this thread or any other thread, and I'm not trying to basically block a conversation. I'm just asking that anorexia be dropped.
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 05:06 pm
@IceB0x,
You have wisdom and confidence far beyond your years. I feel positively that you and your mother will get to the bottom of this - and SOON.

You GO, girl!
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 05:25 pm
@Ragman,
Hehe, thanks Ragman! You're too kind.
0 Replies
 
Pangloss
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 08:05 pm
@firefly,
firefly wrote:

Similarly, when someone starts a thread asking for input about something, I assume they want responses and opinions. I do not understand how I "overstepped my boundaries", since I was not aware there were boundaries in this situation, or on any other threads in A2K.


And your assumption would be correct.

Bottom line, we're not doctors, and even a real doctor couldn't diagnose this problem over the internet. She needs to get to a hospital and get tests done. More speculation is just that...and beating a dead horse at this point.
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 08:45 pm
@Pangloss,
I'm not beating a dead horse; this was just to bounce ideas off people so I have an idea of what I'm in for or expect. Tomorrow I'm getting scheduled for a doctor's visit.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 08:48 pm
@IceB0x,
Good, let us know.
IceB0x
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2010 10:15 pm
@ossobuco,
Sure thing, Osso.
 

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