Indian Curry Rhaposdy

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INDIAN CURRY RHAPSODY ( to the music of Queen - Boheimian Rhapsody)

Naan, just killed a man
poppadom against his head had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan, dinner's just begun but now I'm gonna throw it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back from the loo by this time tomorrow
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras.

Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine
Bottom aching all the time
Goodbye onion bhaji,
I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh
this dupiazza is so mild I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

[Guitar solo]

I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely
Very very spicy Meat!
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan

(A vindaloo loo loo loo)

I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory
Stand you well back 'Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes There it goes Technicolor yawn I chunder
No! It's coming up again (There he goes) I chunder, it's coming back again
(There he goes) Coming back again (up again) Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO)
On my knees, I'm on my knees
On his knees, Oh, there he goes
This vindaloo Is about to wreck my guts
Poor meee.. Poor meeee...poor MEEEEEE!

[Guitar solo]

So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe, but now you'll puke like a baby
Just had to come out It just had to come right out in here.

[guitar solo]

[slow bit]

Korma or dupizza
bhaji, naan or saag nothing makes a difference nothing makes a difference to meee.... (Any way the wind blows....shshshsh) "

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This *is* funny !!! Laughing

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how bout a glossary of terms?

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farmerman:

Naan-Teardrop-shaped flatbread cooked on the sides of a tandoor oven
Pappadum-crispy round flatbread made from chickpea flour, sundried, then cooked, either by deep-frying, or on a hot griddle
Madras, vindaloo and dupiaza are all very hot Indian curries (Gautam can go through the differences there)
Onion bhaji-Indian appetizer, a spiced onion fritter, sort of
Chicken tikka-boneless chicken chunks marinated in tandoori spices and cooked in a tandoor oven. Also used in that British-Indian invention, Chicken Tikka Masala, which is not a favorite of mine.
Rogan Josht-A mildly spiced braise of lamb and spinach
Biryani-aromatic rice-based dish with many variations
Korma-Often made with chicken, mild dish that includes ground almonds and cream
Saag-many variations of this nice dish, also based around spinach. Not as stew-like as Josht.

How'd I do Gautam? Feel free to fill in the details. This song made me howl. Laughing

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Oh, I missed balti-a sort of curry cooked quickly, kinda like a stir-fry, in a cast-iron pot also called a balti.

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that IS truly funny.

and i'm dying for some indian take-away now. guess i'll have to go into the underground maze and pick some up.

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An Indian colleague from Madras has told me that all the spicy curries were originally made so to prevent food from spoiling in the heat.

Ive also been told that liver problems , possibly related to the hot foods diet, are quite common in many parts of India.
Im familiar with the pahn and puri(sp?), but am mostly ignorant of the pantheon of great Indian cooks.
I remember eating at a friends place and having a traditional dinner with curries and yogurt stuff and bitter pickles and all I remember was , I couldnt taste anything after a few minutes.
All things in moderation, sez me.

Now, what is a tandoor oven? is it something we could make and market to the US. We will buy anything related to the kitchen. The trend in US is now to have a kitchen that cost as much as many small countries entire GDP, and then we go out to eat most of the week. CAn a tandoor oven be "juiced" to make it a "must have". Maybe make it electric and call it a "commercial or Professional grade tandoor oven"?

I know a guy with one of those big green eggs in his kitchen fireplace .(Its an old house so its no big deal having kitchen fireplaces, but some people are trying to cook in them again, and we have massive grease fires every so often, usually a holiday.

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Gautam or Cav can probably eloborate or correct me, farmerman, but I understand a tandoori oven is made of clay, and upside-down-cone-shaped with a hole in the top. The meat is cooked on skewers that are stood up inside the oven, and the naan breads are stuck around the inside against the walls. I think they are probably wood/charcoal burning, but I'm sure someone could cobble together an electric one. Maybe gas would be better? They are fairly big as well, from what I can remember.

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farmerman, tandoor ovens of traditional and high-tech varieties are already being sold in the US. If you google it, you should find some info. I would say there is still room for competition in the market.

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GD is right - but the tandoor is more cylindrical than conical....

They are primarily coal fired. I have an electric one at home in which I cook nan and stuff - but the taste does not come even close !!!

GD, I am impressed !!

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G - I have a knack of being able to remember random facts. My (albeit limited) knowledge of tandoor ovens comes from a TV program I saw about 2 years ago called Floyd Does India (or similar). Keith Floyd (who makes me laugh) was travelling around India cooking proper curries. There were no studios, just him and a table outdoors somewhere with loads of locals staring at this mad drunk Englishman cooking curry on the quayside, on the beach, in a field up a mountain etc. He talked about the ingredients, history of the dishes and of course the oven. And I remembered what he said.

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ahhh another million dollar idea is gone "up the chimenea" so to speak.
much food for thought here, Ill have to go and chew on it.

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Gas tandoor ovens are also availible, but I doubt they would come close to the charcoal-fired real thing.

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gas fired curry cooking , is that not the apogee of conservation?

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Not in the same league as Grand Dukes offering, but here's another about Christoper Walkens 93 movie and TV appearances. A parody of "these are a few of my favourite things"

Caesar in Mouse Hunt and Max Schreck in Batman
Koons in Pulp fiction (oh, yes, he was that man)
He played Hal Weidmann - Amer'cas Sweethearts
Here's just a few of his ninety-three parts

The Colonel in Antz (I mean, he did the voices)
Zorin in Bond, driving Rollses and Royces
Hessian Horseman in Sleepy Hollow
These are a few of his ninety-three roles

Kevin Acton in a '53 series
(I'd not believe it, but really I'm serious)
The eponymous hero, he starred in McBain
He's been in a lot - should I say it again?

In The Dead Zone
And in Deadline
In The Dogs of War
Christopher Walken's done all of these things
So maybe I should list some more?

He acted Felton in Three Musketeers
And played the Count in the hunter of deers
(The one with the penchant for Russian Roulette)
I haven't got through all ninety-three yet

He was Puss in Boots, it's hard to believe it
In Kangaroo Jack, too - we thought he would leave it
"Frank Featherbed" in "Plots with a View"?
In ninety-three films, yes he's done all that too

Ray, in The Funeral was not too demanding
And when he was Hickey, was not Last Man Standing
Danced his way through Fatboy Slim video
Have I completed all ninety-three? No...

In The Dead Zone
And in Deadline
In The Dogs of War
Christopher Walken's done all of these things
I've had enough, I won't list no more!

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Indian Curry Rhaposdy

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