I can see myself falling in a bad direction

I need to find some more optimistic philosophy's.

I previously had alot of good beliefs that helped my life in a good direction. But I did notice I felt scared and worried when anyone opposed them or tried to rip them apart.

This just proved that on some level my beliefs wernt strong enough.

So i decided to get rid of any prejudice and ideas i had before and just go out to seek the truth.

But this is now kinda making me insane and feel unstable!

I have to keep reminding myself that there are so many different filters for life and it is possible for me to feel stable and that my life has some purpose other than finding purpose once again.

My beliefs before were. Things exist because of contrast. This was the most beautiful idea I had. The idea that death only exists because of life. and life only exists because of death.

"life sucks then you die" Kinda view.

And im not one that likes to take on blind faith.

Before my life felt meaningful and beautiful.

We egoically identify with our beliefs. A 'belief' is a 'posession of a truth' or even 'the Truth'. Beliefs behave like viruses, they have two imperatives; to survive and to procreate. A perceived attack on a belief has specific symptomatic pathological responses, since it must survive.


Or, they were shown (on some level) to be insufficient, in error...


Delete 'beliefs' and onward through the fog... seeking 'reality/truth'.



When you no longer maintain that fantasy 'blanket of beliefs' to make you feel all stable and secure, yes, sometimes the 'truth' can send one screaming to the nut house.

"To escape one's illusions is to plunge headlong into chaos!" -Iota

The truth is that, beyond your 'beliefs', there is not anything there, much less 'stable' or 'secure', upon which to hang your hat. The notion of 'stability' is an illusion based on fantasy.
We can die at any moment. Our loved ones can die, or worse, at any moment, Now! for instance. There is no security in this life and living every moment with this reality keeps us on the raw edge at times, 'vulnerable' to 'truth'.
Until the distinction fades, anyway.


Are you saying that, for you, 'truth' is less important than 'comfort' (the feeling of 'stability')?


Contrast is reality! Existence is contrast. There is no evidence in refutation, which is what makes it a truth.


Everyone has had moments where we feel that way. It is a real human feeling or thought, but no one has this feeling for every moment of their lives. We have quite the range of feelings and quite the depths and breadth of ability to enjoy these feelings.
Everyting exists in context. Isn't the context of 'life sux' a co-arising feature of 'life is beautiful' which are both co-arising features of the complete Universe? Must we not enjoy the greatest depths of sorrow and grief if we are to enjoy bliss?
"There are places in the heart that do not exist. Pain must exist that they might exist!"
"The well from which springs your joy, once flowed with tears."
"A word isn't a Word until it's spoken; a heart isn't a Heart until it's broken!" - Book of Fudd (6:66)


"There are many ways to skin cat!" *__-


Feelings are always different, one moment we feel this, another, that. Practice not dragging the clouds with you, and you might be able to enjoy your feel good moments when it is shining.
Just be mindful of the present and enjoy the parade of life!
Peace

Forget about philosophy. Throw away those dusty old books that, while entertaining, are a waste of your time. If you want truth, you won't find it in a book, but in living. Understanding logic is worth your time, but please don't absorb ancient philosophies as a part of your very being, read them for the historical meaning, and nothing more.

Get out in the world and make the best of the life you have right now and stop thinking so much about things that can never be known. Try new things and meet new people. You will stop looking for "truth" so much when you realize that your experiences make you happy and that you don't need such a thing.

Philosophy is the pastime of the depressed! I have never seen more unhappy people congregating in one place than on this forum and other meeting places for armchair philosophers. Socrates told us that philosophers are more concerned with death than with life. Concern yourself with life, and make sure to experience all that it has to offer you. You will find meaning without philosophy. It will not require straining the mind just to grasp this meaning, but you can feel it; it is real.

Vale!