How to Change a Lightbulb, Internet Style

How many Internet Forum Posters (pick a forum...any
forum...)does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light
bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light
bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed
differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about
changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers.

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light
bulb"

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the
proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry,
and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are
in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs
and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb
forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we
all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are
relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is
superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what
brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and
what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of
different light bulbs.

40 posters who don't believe in light bulbs at all and
instead post links to pseudo-scientific sites that
claim alternate theories of light production.

12 to point out that there is no right to light in the
US Constitution.

12 to haughtily proclaim that it wouldn't have burned
out if it was a Mac.

7 to post that soon all of our light bulbs will be
manufactured in China, and BTW 'buy gold'!

4 to post that all the tech support for changing light
bulbs is being outsourced to India.

1 post showing a picture of a light bulb and a picture
of someone who resembles a light bulb.

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and
then post the corrected URL's

1 poster that has converted all his light bulbs to
florescents, so he very rarely has to change them.

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post
because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

8 people to post pics of Anna Kournikova while making
suggestions as to what she should wear while changing
the light bulb.

1 to say it's Bush's fault.

12 to post the damn illegals are changing light bulbs
at half the price of American workers!!

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

15 to blame Clinton for the light bulb going out.

13 to tell you candles should be in all well-prepared
households in the event of a lightbulb burnout.

5 postings that say they do not use light bulbs...only
candles.

1 to mention the "lite" bulb is made of low-fat
cheese.

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short
time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before
posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6
months from now and start it all over again