Reply
Sat 8 Nov, 2003 04:28 pm
ive been friends with this guy for quit some time now. about two months ago we were hanging out and had sex! i fell for him hard! we hung out a little but he never called much and never seemed interested(even though thats just his personality)i saw him two nights ago. we got drunk and he asked why i stopped calling. i played it off like i forgot but he knew something was up. he told me he never called cuz hes used to me calling and that maybe i thought he was acting weird. he said he wants to continue what we had but hes not lookin to fall in love. he also said i gave him the best sex ever. later that night we eneded up having sex. im concerned it was alll just apick up line. hes good friends with my family and wouldnt think he would do such a thing for being quit and sometimes shy. what do i do
I agree with Phoenix, sounds as if he's pretty good at blowing sunshine. Don't chase him honey, it's not worth it. Plenty of men will treat you better, wait for the real thing. Not convience...
was it all for sex
he just sounded so sincere! he said he was opening up to me and thats something he never does. he said he couldnt understand on why we stopped talking. i told him that our friendship means more to me than just sex and that i dont want to lose our friendship. he agreed but said he wanted more than that. then thats when one of us brought what we thought about each others sex style. we were both drunk its all foggy sort of. i like him but i cant have someone use me like that i know. he is a good friend ecspecially with my sister and her boyfriend. should i try talking to him again??
jenn12 - When two very young people have had sex, it is very difficult, if not impossible, for them to go back to being just friends.
If I were you, I would stay away. If he cares about you, he will seek you out. My suggestion is that if he does, do not permit yourself to get into a position where you will have sex with him.
If he will not see you unless you have sex, then you know for sure that he was just using you.
Quote:...he also said i gave him the best sex ever.
Say, if you're ever in the neighborhood...
sex is like cocaine...the worst I ever had was wonderful.......
Trust a guy to say that....
HA! You must be young jenn...that line is not opening up, and last I checked, I was a guy, so trust me. He got some good nookie and now he wants more without a commitment. Be strong, set your own boundaries, and don't let him take advantage of you.
Almost every response here is true ... so believe it!
They all sound so sincere, they know what to say and when to say it, and women fall for it, until it sounds redundant, then they move on.
Say so long Jenn, and move on, he's using you!
Instead of finding a decent guy why don't you just try to change this turd. Then you can come to forums like this and complain about him.
At the risk of sounding cheesy, I'm a firm believer that sex is way better if there's LURV. Lucky guy, he gets to fool around with someone with no strings attached. Don't be a victim!
If i was you, i would just use him for a root and see if he likes it. I bet that if you done the same to him he would turn around and want more from the relationship
acacia, great avatar. I must disagree though. Women call being used for sex abusiveness. Men call it getting lucky....
Sounds pretty simple. If you want to sleep with him, go ahead. If you want a relationship, go someplace else.
It sounds to me like you think Sex=Relationship. It doesn't.
Sex=Sex.
Sometimes Relationship=Sex, but not always.
If you want to remain friends with him then stop sleeping with him. I do think it's possible to have "friends with benefits" but you want to involve love, and that's not going to happen here.
Another bit of advice - stop drinking so much. It seems to me that all of your feelings and meaningful conversations occur when you three sheets to the wind, which makes everything in life a little foggy all the time. Unless you like it that way - maybe clarity's over-rated here.
Sex complicates all matters and makes them worse then what they were before-if there was no relationship. Friends with benifits is a joke because those kinds of situations never last and if they do they cause major damage to what is left of a friendship.
Which is more important: His friendship to you or the sex?
Considering you probably see he more often since he is friends with the family it would be smart to take that into consideration.
It is good to know that when speaking with a guy and it ends up that sex is going to be the answer then you've been played. What is he telling his friends about you? I can only imagine his "conquest stories" he is sharing.
You are not the victim and playing one will not help your situation. Be weary of anyone that just wants to have sex and no relationship-they have emotional baggage that they don't want to deal with. It is like people who solve their pain with eating or drinking. These people just want to have sex. They are not sound people and have trust issues.
Once someone lies, cheats, talks behind backs it is difficult to go back to the way the friendship was. The same goes for having sex. It will never be the same. The dynamics have changed.