what should I do!?!

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Ok here it goes...my bf and I have been in an relationship for 4 years now, but we have only spent about a year together because it's long distance...really long distance (he's in Virginia and I'm in Michigan), anyway, I first moved in with him and his folks right after I graduated high school, and things were going pretty good at first. But needless to say, I ended up back in Michigan after about 8 months because things weren't going as I hoped. While in Michigan i made the decision to get back in school and so I went to an accelerated college and received my certification as a Medical Office Assistant in about 7 months. He and I still kept in contact and I guess we were still together so he asks me to come back to Virginia and he promises that everything would be so much better. But once again, it's not. So this time, as a mutual agreement, we decided that I would go back to Michigan and he would follow a couple months later. Well, I've been back for a couple weeks now and I can already tell that things have really changed between us. He's never home anymore and I cant' talk to him when he's away from home because he doesn't have a cell. And just the other day, he blamed me for everything that went wrong and he even blamed me for leaving even though it was a mutual decision. Now, I'm pretty much on the fence about whether I should leave him
or just suck it up and deal with what he's doing. I hate it so much because I'm always waiting for him to call me just so I can know that he's doing alright. Everyone keeps telling me to listen to my heart but I'm confused, I don't know what my heart is trying to tell me. Should I leave or should I stay?? I'm so confused

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You two need a sit-down and talk about what's going on.

Try to keep your emotions under control when speaking to him. Don' t appear desperate. After all, you went to school and have a career started, so you could be independent, if you had to. Make sure he knows you can go on without him, if he needs some time and space.

Sounds like you two got serious at a very young age and he is now seeing a different side of life and wants to explore that.

But you seem to have a good solid start on your life, too. So hold your head high and see if he wants to continue to be a part of it. If not, be prepared to do some exploring, too.

He's not the only fish in the sea, either.

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So twice you have tried living with him and twice it has resulted in your leaving and returning to Michigan and you still need to ask what you should do? How many times are you going to pack up and move in with him and then move out before you figure out that this relationship just isn't working? And to sit around waiting for him to call you is just plain silly. Go out and get a life. Have some fun. Do something silly, like maybe date others. He doesn't seem to be sitting around waiting on you to call, does he?

So in a nutshell, I'd suggest you just move on. Frankly, it appears he seems to be doing so.

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@daustin,

Welcome to A2K. Unfortunately, you already know the answer to your questi0n. It didn't work, you tried again, it didn't work and now it's not working for the third time. Albert Einstein said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Of course, he wasn't the best in relationships, but there is some truth to his comment.

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@daustin,

Love doesn't equal compatibility - many people, especially the young, don't grasp that at first.

And as the others said, what you've tried so far is a pretty clear indication of how things work out between the two of you.

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@daustin,

daustin wrote:

Everyone keeps telling me to listen to my heart....

But most time you have to think with your head.

Who is this "everyone" that telling you what to do?

You're the one who has to live your life, not "everyone" else.

You haven't had a 4 year relationship.
You've had a one year relationship, which hasn't worked out, twice.

Unless you are an adult who had spent a significant amount of time with a person, and then, because of something totally unavoidable had to live in different areas of the country, and flew back and forth to see each other on weekends, holidays, etc. you're not having a long distance relationship. Examples of people that might be in a long distance relationship would be if one person is in the military, or prison.

2 adults would not normally not go for 3 years only seeing each other on weekends and holidays as #1, this would cut into their own lives, not giving them much time to do anything else. By this time they would have come to some sort of solution to be much closer, and probably married.

What you have done for 3 years is talk to him on the phone, emails, texts, etc.

Sounds like there's also problems with relations between you and his family as well.

Whoever said it is right, you've already answered your own question.

I will give you one piece of advice....do not get pregnant.

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@daustin,

They problably mean "when you listen to your heart".
Is how do you feel with him, is he making you happy, are you being hurt
If not go with what your heart feels and leave him

Your mind tells you both good and bad situations, and circumstances , but mostly your mind would tells you the bad things

You have said that you moved in with him and moved out a couple of times

Long distance relationshis take alot of hard work, to let it work out,
You guys met and everything but then things didn't seem to turn out right
You really wasted your time...with this guy no offence

His blaming you for everything, and you are always waiting for him to call you

What i would recommend is to just have a one to one talk with him and tell him everything that he is doing wrong and everything in the relationship that is just being overwhelming for you, do not be desperate

If what he says to you, in your mind, if it isn't good enough, if he isn't going to change then just leave him

You tried multiple times why try now?

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what should I do!?!

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