18
   

Why is it so hard being a human and living amongst the other humans?

 
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 12:49 am
@Eva,
Eva wrote:

Chai does have a point, deb.

The only way I survive being surrounded by teenage angst everyday is to learn to blithely ignore it. It's their problem, I let them deal with it. I have other things to do.

Like Jonathan, I tend to avoid neurotic friends, too.


Oh, I know! But, if I had taken said teenagers somewhere and they didn't like, I'd feel kind of bad. Unless it was something they HAD to go to, and they just had to get over themselves over (like compulsory relly rallies)

Thing is, knowing seems to be rather powerless against the social angst. Being rational certainly helps me deal with it and laugh at it, but it's one of those things that seems to defy sense. Maybe it's a bit built into us because we are such social creatures, and pleasing the troupe is a survival thing?

And she is not more neurotic than I am, she just gets triggered by different things.

Which is as well, when you think of it. In our group, no matter what happens, someone always stays calm and in control. We just change the designated calm person/s!!!
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 01:02 am
@dlowan,
I usually makle fun of any people who, as part of a party with us, is gonna try the "picky eater" route.
AS far as you, I cant think of another species that has come up with the concept of"retaurant" or "Art show". ASO I guess were stuck with this until some chimp opens a pizza joint for Tree swinging hominids.

I am tolerant of most food preferences UP TO A DAMN POINT. If a guest in our crowd is there just to be some veggie diva and uses every fuckin opportrunity to remind the rest of us that we are killing the planet or ourselves (whichever is more important to them), a gfew of us are merciless. USually this results in fewer opportunities to share food with these folks cause they are often really offended at the way that some of us find this funny.
Even Mike Pollard, our latest food guru, recognizes that most veggie diets are less sustainable than some meatatarianism built in. He states that we should eat "moastly" veggies and that meat is still the primary source of many nutrients .

Living among humans is a consequence of our evolutionary track. Weve developed from small bands to create civilizations and this has worked fairly well, except for the Italians and NEws Yorkers, nobody can stand them.
My suggestion then, is that you should chill and try to see the humor in all this. Im sure you could write a neat blog or a magazine article about " Rules for Living with Orthodox Vegetarianism" , or"Why some people wont eat anything with a face".
dlowan
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 01:06 am
@farmerman,
I aspire to be someone who won't eat anything with a face! I didn't for years...I am a lapsed vegetarian.

I now won't eat anything with a cute face.

That bloody picture Robert posted of the caged cats, with one being hauled out in a noose t0 be killed for a customer haunts me.

This when I hear endless stories from kids about terrible things that have been done to them without turning too much of a hair!

Humans be weird.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 01:11 am
@Joe Nation,
Joe Nation wrote:
We are all crazy, us humans, crazy in ten thousand thousand different ways,
the hard part is finding the humans who have a craziness which matches your own. Once you do, life is good.

Joe(let her pick the restaurant next time, and the next)Nation
I have a friend who is a psychiatrist. He said to me:
"David, anyone who u think is NOT crazy,
is just someone u don 't KNOW well enuf."





David
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 01:16 am
@Joe Nation,
Quote:
Joe(let her pick the restaurant next time, and the next)Nation


I usually do!! It's a joke between us, really...."Darling, you pick the place...you'r eimpossible!"

Most of my friends are extremely easy to please and very adaptable...but I do have another friend (who is also a very good friend of the person I have been discussing). He is even more impossible, except he eats gluten. When we all go out together for meals, his wife and I snigger happily at each other as we refuse to enter into any comments about where we go...we leave it to them.

But, really, that's generally no big deal. Adelaide has everything, so it's not hard.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 01:24 am
@dlowan,
Quote:
Humans be weird.


Hmm, Im not going to project anyones choices onto my own experiences since Ive eaten some things that most of us would think of as gross . Ive actually learned to relish several of them .
Is your friend otherwise a decent person? or is she one of these divas who wants to be the center of the story at all times ?
I tend to not spwnd a lot of effort on people like that. My wife is amazingly more patient than I and she is always berating me for being rude . SAO I am not anyone who can serve as a good example in unreqarded patience. Ive had chicken feet served up in several ways IN CHINA and they were excellent. I like the idea that little goes to waste in several cultures. My real problem is many ethnic foods, especially Chinese and Japanese, is the selective use of ingredients that lead to endangering a species.

Vegetarianism is also subject to the same hypocrisy. Many veggie diest serve up sorbean ashit. like tofu and armpitfu. (I dont care for this stuff, Ill eat it but domt relish it).
Soybeans are one of the most ecologically devistating food crop that is usually cultivated in huge swaths of monoicultured farm fields.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 01:25 am
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:
I am tolerant of most food preferences UP TO A DAMN POINT.
If a guest in our crowd is there just to be some veggie diva and
uses every fuckin opportrunity to remind the rest of us that we
are killing the planet or ourselves (whichever is more important to them)
I'm reminded of an expedition to the Bronx Zoo about 15 years ago with about ten acquaintances,
when I bought some cotton candy from a vendor, I heard a loud female shriek about 20 feet away.
It sounded like one of them got burned. It turned out to be a manifestation of opinion qua my choice of food,
because of its sugar content.





David
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 01:56 am
@dlowan,
That wasn't the best of lunches with your friend, was it, Deb?
I suspect she was having a bad day.
Next time, why not let her choose the lunch venue? It might make things much easier ! Wink

But, but ... (feeling a bit subversive & also a little empathetic with your friend, sorry ...)

I DO know what it's like (during my 20 or so vego years) of having to eat the "also" added vegetables as my sole dinner. Not nice! (I know this wasn't the case at this lunch, but one can build up quite a few grudges, over time! You come to expect the worst. Wink )

And I probably wouldn't feel comfortable, even now, at seeing potential "dinners" swimming around in a fish tank as I contemplated my meal.

Let's just say your good friend was having a bad day & put it down to experience, hey?
Seriously, let her choose the next lunch venue. Then you can relax!
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 02:50 am
@msolga,
But I'm not dissing her!!! Of COURSE I understand!!
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 02:55 am
@dlowan,
I know you're not, Deb!!! Smile

I wasn't suggesting you were.

I was just responding to your thread title.
0 Replies
 
margo
 
  3  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 03:01 am
@dlowan,
dlowan wrote:
In our group, no matter what happens, someone always stays calm and in control. We just change the designated calm person/s!!!


I love this line, Deb - perhaps I can introduce it in my current group drama!
Yikes!
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 03:03 am
Quote:
she is fearful it will not dry clean

That would probably be the case if it is rain wear. even if it does dryclean it will never be the same as far as shedding moisture.
Cant see the garment in question however (aftyer 20 years in the business) i advise domestic washing with plenty of rinsing.
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 03:06 am
Take to maccas next time. What could go wrong?
margo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 03:24 am
@dadpad,
dadpad wrote:

Take to maccas next time. What could go wrong?

Rolling Eyes Twisted Evil

Yeah, but......
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 06:32 am
@dlowan,
dlowan wrote:
And, as I said, this responsibility thing isn't RATIONAL, that's the point of the whole thread,


Yes, this is part of what I really get. I know it's silly of me but I persist. I've gotten better -- my new year's resolution from a few years ago of "Not My Problem" was exactly about this -- but I have a ways to go yet.

A recent example of something that niggled at me that I should just let go of already:

Sozlet came down with a minor cold on Friday. It wasn't clear if it was a cold or allergies -- she was stuffy, full stop. No fever, no achiness or weakness or anything, just snotty. Never got nauseous (which happens with her sometimes). She had a Big Important Test scheduled yesterday, that was hard to make up. We'd been getting letters about how important it was, to make sure our kids had enough sleep and a good breakfast beforehand, etc. She was stuffiest on Saturday, better on Sunday, and again, never more than stuffy. I got her to sleep early on Sunday night, and she seemed pretty much fine on Monday morning (the same or better than she'd been), so I decided to send her in. I talked to the teacher about the stuffiness and that she was fine otherwise, the teacher was sure, no problem, glad she's here. I was worried that she'd be blowing her nose and bothering everyone, the teacher said don't worry, we'll figure it out.

Well, she was blowing her nose and bothering everyone throughout the (3-hour) test. Argh. To the point where people were shunning her for the rest of the day and calling her "sicko" (nice, eh?). I get how annoying that must've been for them, though, to be stuck taking this test with intermittent snotty honks coming from the back of the room.

Argh argh argh.

Yeah, still bothering me.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 07:18 am
@sozobe,
But that's kind of different! That's mean of the kids!! It might be understandable, but it's wrong.

Tells you how hyped everyone must be by the damn test.

Is that one of THE tests? You know, the national ones? (Three hours for kids of Sozlet's age?)
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 07:22 am
@dlowan,
Yeah, I think so. I'm not actually sure, just that it's a Big Important Test.

I get all second-guessy about whether I should've sent her in.

You're right that it's a little different though in that whether it was the right decision or the wrong decision there was actual cause and effect, what you're talking about is more taking responsibility for something you didn't actually have any control over.
dlowan
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 08:12 am
@sozobe,
Yes...but I am glad you "get" me!!!!

Most others seem to think I am just saying my dear (albeit very sensitive) friend is awful!!!


You know, I seriously think this might be a sort of hard-wiredish irrational feeling.

Imagine, if you will, our early hominid ancestors, all competing, as we still do, for status within our troupe.

Individual A tastes a new and wonderful berry. Bursting to be first with the find, A fills her happy little belly, then eagerly rushes to her group and indicates she has found a wonderful new food.

Excitedly, they all rush to gorge themselves on the sweet treats. A beams and is groomed enthusiastically by her admiring compadres...she basks in their approbation and dreams of becoming top female...


Her happy glow is interrupted by a terrific rumbly in her tumbly.

She feels a little ill.....

The night is made awful by the sounds of vomiting and explosive diarrhoea as each member of the troupe suffers the agonies of food poisoning.

Morning comes, and A straggles wearily at the rear of the troupe to water...nobody will groom her, she's in oestrus, nobody wants to sniff her bottom.....A imagines a life at the bottom of the pecking order...
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 08:14 am
@dadpad,
dadpad wrote:

Take to maccas next time. What could go wrong?


Do they do roo burgers there? They really should...
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Apr, 2010 08:15 am
@sozobe,
Of course, I KNOW that YOU shouldn't feel bad!!! You were most thoughtful and appropriate!
 

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