Psst! Governor, I gotta a idear.

I am nominating you for a Pulitzer! (Do you know how to pull an itzer?)

I bet he does.

You know those city boys. They always know such things.

As a matter of fact, Joe, we supply about 1/6 of the nations natural gas, and have more oil and gas wells than the eitire mideast. They got some real good wells, though.

Joe
Joe, are you hell-bent on ruining my neighborhood? What a sore head!

BBB :wink:

Well, there's two of the 260 residents speaking up. Maybe they're the senators?

Nah, seriously. . . I love Albuquerque. Fell in love with in on the way to Vegas one day. May move there some day.

No.no no. BBB, I'm trying to make you some real money here. Look, I admit it. I stole that letter from a movie producer friend of mine, I thought people here at A2k should see it. I can't tell you her name, I'll just call her Pam, you know like the spray. Anyway, she's putting together this movie about the Iraq thing, going to have Affleck and Mel Gibson maybe, Madonna is signed on, we had Arnold to do a cameo but now he's got some kind of two-year committment somewheres else.
Anyway, it's all about the regular stuff, you know, valient GI's in the gigantic humvees and jeeps or whatever all followed around by this Fox news camera crew (Affleck and Madonna) and they get into all these messes. Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda,yadda when it hits Pam, she's brilliant you know, it hits her.
"Why not do the real thing?" she says. I'll never forget that. wow.
We were like, like go over to the war?
'No,' she says, ''we do it here. Like in New Mexico.''
See, I told you this is her idea, the New Mexico part. And it's perfect for you and Roger too because all you guys are going to get 43 Billion dollars.
And some it is going to get spilled on the ground, if you know what I mean.

Okay, look, we were trying to get funding for the movie, do you know how hard it is to a lousy 600 million to make a movie these days? But if we can get the 43 Billion with a B, well, crap we have a budget to do things right, right? We take maybe a billion, there's a billion apiece to the Dakotas and the rest is yours to spread around what's left of the place.
40 billion will build a lotta golf courses. Right? Right? Right?

Okay, let's talk downsides. You got your Santa Fe, which Pam says is off limits on account of her having some kind of spiritual awakening there about twenty years ago. Whatever. But we can shoot the hell out of all those rocks and nobody will care. I mean it's rocks, right? What else?
Oh yeah, Albuquerque. Now see, I thought that might be a problem too, but we did two on the street surveys, kind of like what Jay does on his show and guess what? We asked:
Which of these is an American city:
A) Albuquerque
B) Nasiriya
C) Chechnya
D) None of the above

They all said D, Sorry, but that's the way it is. So nobody is gonna miss a few hundred yards of Albuquerque neighborhood. And you'll have the 40 billion to slap up a couple of hundred of those tiled roof ranchhouses that you all love. On the survey thing, You got to remember that like half of the folks in the US (okay, less than half) voted for Bush and 40 percent of them like homeschool their children so how are they to know geography??? Forget it.
(No offense to Montana who I'm sure has got a son so smart like you wouldn't believe.)
And it's got to look like the stuff on the TV news now or somebody's going to catch on. We have a plan for when people start asking how come no GIs are getting whacked on a daily basis. We tell them 'body armor', it's new, we can't talk about it. Isn't that great? Pam didn't think of that. I did.

So get with it, BBB and you too Roger, call your governor and tell him or her, (how am I supposed to know which), to get with this before the Senate votes. Oh, and say that we've got a couple of feelers from the folks in Durango who are willing to let the whole thing go for a solid ten billion. So cheap and it does look like those mountains Osama keeps showing up on.

Okay, so I'll call you.

love

Joe
Joe, I just e-mailed Asherman to ask him to respond. He could save Pam lots of money by writing the script and designing and painting the indoor sets.

And Ash should have a major role---he could be right in character with the theme.

Since Natalie has gone back to teaching, I'm sure there must be a role for a school marm for her.

So now you have four New Mexicans ready to fight for America on the cheap.

WOW! I just had another idea. The next time Dyslexia and Diane come down from Colorado for a visit, we could hog-tie them until they agree to play a role and maybe cough up a nickle or dime.

BBB

One quibble, Asherman. Our governor is Bill Richardson, former representative to congress - till appointed ambassador to the UN by Bill Clinton. Oil companies are threatening to move their wells to Colorado or Texas after seeing his latest tax schemes.

Richardson was a pal of Clinton? I think I knew that, but he blows with the wind.

It probably is a good thing that most of the country is so ill informed about our State. There are already far too many refugees crowding in. By limiting immigration our water problems would be much less severe, and the urban sprawl out onto the west mesa would tear up a lot less of the pristine desert. Water and jobs are the limiting factors to population growth, so their scarcity does have an upside.

What do you think of a separate nation that covered essentially the same ground purchased from France in the Louisiana Purchase?

Works for me. Probably a good thing I wasn't around when it was our manifest destiny to populate the land from the Atlantic to the Pacific. I would have said from Baffin Bay to Tierra del Feugo.

Ash
Bill Richardson is a Democrat, at least the last time I checked up on him.

BBB

Indeed.

Why, shut my mouth. Just goes to show how little I keep up with the political scene.

thats ok Ash still thinks i am a Republican. ;

Thanks to everyone for their comments.

Asherman:
Having just perused most of the Chamber of Commerce, New Mexico Tourism Bureau, Highway Dept sites, I have to say THEY NEED YOU to write about New Mexico for them. Excellent work! So poetic that I'm going to feel so bad when we start bombing. (Except for the Richardson thing and you can be forgiven for that.)

I really like the idea of kidnapping Coloradoites (especially the hogtying part.)

This all started because a friend of mine whom I've known since the '60's recently moved from California to Sante Fe, New Mexico (sound familiar A-man?) And we got to thinking about New Mexico declaring war on the US in order to get part of the reconstruction money, but I think "Pam" had the better idea. Just buy off Washington for half the money!!

==
I don't think the idea of an independent country comprised of New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas and Texas would work because the Texans would insist that it be named :



Texas.


Joe

Dys ... you're NOT a Republican?! Damn, I thought there was something weird about you, now I can see why.

Hey Joe, how you gonna get from Kansas to Texas without including Oklahoma? (squinting at map)

Does this mean we'd all have to start saying "Yee haw" and stuff like that? Hmmm...I guess if there was enough money in it...(thinking)...