he spends time with ex, as anniversary of their child's death.. & two days later he says he is giving a go again..i feel it is knee jerk reaction with grief...
It sounds as though this man is still married, he was just separated from his wife. Now he has decided to try to reconcile with her.
The loss of a child is a profound loss
, and the stress associated with a child's death can put a terrible strain on even a good marriage. But the couple still may retain their bonds of shared love for the child, as well as their shared grief over the loss. With the passage of time, the most acute feelings of pain and anger, which accompany the death, may subside, and this decreases the amount of conflict between the couple, allowing them to again experience what was positive and mutually supportive in their relationship. That allows them to reconsider the separation, and to try to work things out. What brings the couple back together would be their entire shared past history, both the happy memories and the shared trauma they experienced with the loss of their child.
Something this man experienced when he went to see his wife led him to feel that the past problems in their relationship could be worked out. They may be relating differently to each other than they were a year ago. The original separation may have occurred at a time of heightened negative emotions due to the child's death. As those emotions have lessened, the couple can discuss things differently and evaluate their relationship with more balance.
i feel it is knee jerk reaction with grief...
No, that may not be the case. In fact, the separation may have been the knee jerk reaction to grief. Now that decision is being reconsidered.
This man may well like you and be very happy when he is with you. But he is a married man, and he has decided to work on his marriage. You should just accept that. If things don't work out with his wife, he might come back to you. But, for now, you should just let him go and do what he needs to do.