What would you do?

love again

If this person "just woke up" and told you that he/she wanted to paint the bedroom blue, you would ask:

when did you first feel this way?
why don't you like the current color?
when did you plan on doing this?
how much will it cost?
why didn't you tell me before that you were unhappy with the current color?
why did you choose blue?
can we talk about how I feel about it?
can I help or talk you out of it?

This just doesn't happen overnight.
You two have not been talking.

i would ask why

then listen


and if it is something that can not be fixed, or something the other person doesnt WANT to fix, arrange for some therapy so that you have a neutral space to talk about things and get seperation planning in order.

If it can be fixed, start by thinking about the things that this person would do for you when they were happy and in love.
Was that person someone who would always do little things like open the doors for you? Fold your laundry and put it up?
Did they always talk about you , tell you they loved you, why they loved you? very..verbal?
Gift giving? Little cards?notes? flowers?
Hand holding? really touchy feely kind of person?

The reason I ask is because those are the things that person WANTS done to them. People behave in relationships as they want to be treated when they are happy. Those actions, behaviors words etc.. are basically the begining of a mirror reflection. Begin by doing what ever it was they liked and did for you.

I know this may sound like a silly question, but can you please tell me what you can't do anymore.

I'm guessing that before you ask why - you actually listen to the whole of what it is she can't do anymore.