Genuine Exam Replies

The future of the country is in safe hands. Or is it? Not if it passes to
the flower of the nation's youth who provided these real answers to GCSE
questions. On the other hand, it could clear up one or two of the
misconceptions about the history of the world.

- Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics.
They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of
the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

- The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the
Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of
their children asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

- Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached
Cyanide.

- Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

- The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

- Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name.

- Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.
They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his
death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

- In the Olympic Games, the Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits and threw the java.

- Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in any one place for long.

- Joan of Arc was burned to a steak and was canonised by Bernard Shaw.
Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.

- In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the
futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

- Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple whilst standing on his son's head.

- Queen Elizabeth was the Virgin Queen. As a Queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "Hurrah!"

- It was an age of inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

- The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.