an affair gone too far.

Forums: Relationships, Marriage, Affair
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my question is hw would i know which one is right for me?

it all began 3yrs ago met a guy named "cali" became closer and closer, things with husband not going so well they had'nt been good in 2years. so in 2007 "cali" we became bf/gf i ended up pregnant with "cali" baby, had my son husband accepted me and baby, but "cali" just wanted me 2 be with him only. husband in military and for 3years i would travel back and fourth between the two, im in love with "cali" but love husband been together 10 years married 6. only thing is its not the same husband expects me to be the girl he met years ago and she no longer exists, i can be myself around "cali" and we go together great. i no longer have sex with husband for many reasons my love for "cali" i dont trust husband, the sex drive is for some reason no longer there. how the hell do i deceide whats best for me and my son?

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I'm surprised you have to ask. You have outgrown or outdistanced your husband so get up the courage and let him go - so he can find a faithful wife.

You don't mention if Cali wants you or not.

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@diorchanel,

edited and rewritten for diorchanel wrote:

my question is how would i know which one is right for me?

it all began 3yrs ago. I met a guy named "cali". We became closer and closer. Things with my husband were not going so well - they had'nt been good in 2years.

...in 2007 "cali" and I had an affair and i ended up pregnant with "cali's" baby. I had my son. My husband accepted me and the baby, but "cali" just wanted me 2 be with him only. My husband is in the military and for 3years i would travel back and fourth between the two men.

I'm in love with "cali" but I also love my husband. We've been together 10 years and married 6. The only thing is its not the same - my husband expects me to be the girl he met years ago and she no longer exists. i can be myself around "cali" and we go together great. i no longer have sex with husband for many reasons; my love for "cali", i dont trust husband, the sex drive is for some reason no longer there. how the hell do i deceide whats best for me and my son?

Hello, diorchanel. Welcome to A2K. I hope you don't mind but I reformatted your post so that it's a bit easier to read.

I'm left with a few questions.

Does your husband know that the child is not his?

Is your husband aware of your on-going affair?

Does your lover want you AND his child or just you, as you said?

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Your husband is not there for you physically. It sounds like he can not be.
It isnt his fault.

But that is enough of a reason for a relationship to not work. You may have thought before that you could handle him being gone, but obviously you can not.

Just own that and go with it. Stop being scared of it. 10 years is a long time yes. Separating always hurts so there is no easy way out of that.

But whether or not you go with Cali, you should really be focusing on leaving that marriage. It doesnt work for you. Obviously. So why would you want to spend your life in something that doesnt full fill you? Honestly?

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an affair gone too far.

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