Reply
Fri 26 Feb, 2010 02:04 pm
Sitting at my computer desk with a large cat on my left shoulder with her claws digging in and a kitten on the desk blocking part of the view of what I am typing I had come up with another theory of the meaning of mankind.
This theory seems every bit as likely and rational as some human type Supreme Being creating humankind in his own image.
The great cat god , the ruler of all the universe, took note that her beloved smaller cats who she had created in her own beautiful image was living hard and short lives indeed even to the point of being eaten by far lesser creatures.
After a few nanoseconds of thoughts she decided to evolve a lowly monkey into a creature that would develop in the course of time the means to raised foods in abounded and in all others ways become the ruler of the lesser creatures.
Then she builds into the monkeys a completely irrational love for her smaller cats along with the need to provide for them and protect them against harm.
That is why I am now typing with one hand as I pet one of my cats with the other. Why I had spend a thousand dollars in the last year alone on vet care for “my” cats or why my head cat can get away with waking me up at 4 AM by placing her claws on my face in order for me to go downstairs to feed them soft foods.
May the great cat god be happy with me.
For those who would dare to question the existed of the Great Cat God, I challenge them to prove otherwise.
@BillRM,
Obviously false. The world, which is flat of course, rests on the back of a very large turtle. The cat is a demon dedicated to strolling across keyboards, and smothering the mouse - leading to irreproducable error messages.
@BillRM,
First step--Come down from the tree.
Second-Develop an upright condyle for your vertebrae
Third walk upright
Fourth get a big brain
Five Invent cat litter
@BillRM,
Are they're any monasteries based on this new theory religion,
non? Maybe if I pass around a collection plate around a2k, I can collect enough money to buy a mid to large brownstone and start up one.
@tsarstepan,
It work for L. Ron Hubbard a second to third rate 1950s science fiction writer with his aliens souls so I do not see any reason why the cult of the Cat God would not work out big time.
After all, we can claim a direct connection to the ancient Egyptian cats’ worshipers with all their secret powers.
It would help if we could recruit a few not all that bright Hollywood stars after all Scientology can not had claimed all of them.
@farmerman,
Quote:Five Invent cat litter
Do not forget soft cat food in cans a very important step forward in human evolution at least that what my cats tell me.
@BillRM,
A billion dollar industry if you can grab the latest celebrity
du jour for the spiritual endorsement.
Too late, BillRM.
Meet Santo Gato Sombra... making miracles since 2003.
@fbaezer,
I can see some gullible ... um ... devout individuals sacrificing their worldly material goods for the sake of the Mount Santo Gato Sombra Monastery.
This thread immediately got rolands attention.
He's currently on my lap, telling me to raise my legs a bit so he can better see the screen.
@chai2,
I'm looking for nominations for feline disciples. Is
Roland interested?
@tsarstepan,
roland is busy in his duties as arch bishop of Hether St.
I'll ask otis if he's available.
@chai2,
<<Sigh>>
I was so looking forward to the
Gospels According to Roland. Has any miracles been attributed to
Otis?
@tsarstepan,
False Saints!!!
Dedicate yourself to St Miranda!
At some point, I decided that cats were never domesticated but that they domesticated humans who always seemed to have lots of mouse attracting food and warm fires as well as soft blankets and pillows. Then, scientists came up with the idea that dogs also voluntarily joined forces with man and that man would never have gone beyond chipping stone if it hadn't been for dogs.
I accept both but think that cats domesticated man first.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace