Dear Gustav

I'm sorry. My schedule is very hectic. I've been anguishing over a shipment of bad holy water and I seem to be low on hosts for mass tomorrow. Somehow Boomerang's post went unnoticed.

She asks of moving to Kapingamarangi. I would not recommend it at the present time. There is much civil unrest and the natives have been killing the tourists at an alarming rate. I'd wait several months. Once the killings end... perhaps then, but not before.

How bad was it?

Very bad. Let us pray together.

Well then.

Now I know that there is not only a population but that there is tourism! I suppose i will have to pursue my happiness elsewhere.....

May I suggest Burkina Faso?

Can I at least cook the swallow's nest in holy water?

What does a gal have to do to get an answer around here????

you really, really, really don't want gus to answer that question !! Do you ??

Guatam seems a bit on edge this morning. Perhaps he fears a lecture from the pope? Afraid of what his confession might bring? Perhaps a string of Hail Marys that would stretch around the globe.

But I digress.


Here's the info for Jespah

I hope you enjoy your stay, Jes.

Thanks! I'm off to South Africa! Someone please water the plants for me, thank you in advance.

<giggle> Dear pope, Go on, I am listening !!!!

Dear Pope,

Inquiring minds want to know....boxers or briefs?

Dear Gustav,
where the heck is my fluffy gray hat? i swear i put it into the closet last spring. did a dingo eat it? or the bf? and why?

Dear Gus

Oh Omniscient one, do you also grant wishes? I wish to be little k's vibrator.

oops...was that over the top?

Happy to hear the tripod comes in handy - at least you'll never fall over. Tell those nuns there are no staff discounts either.

Dear Gus: Hanging Chads
Dear, dear Gus, I'm desperately in need of your help.

I was a ballot counter in Florida during the 2000 presidential election. I was directed to count all the hanging chads found during the voting process, which I was happy to do for my country. Everything was Ok until Al Gore's legal team asked me to store the hanging chads I had found for a future expose evidence.

I now have tons of orphan chads stuffed in boxes, plastic bags, and anything else I can find. I can no longer get into my house. My neighborhood streets are filled with boxes of chads. The damn chads are sexy little devils multiplying like a well-known A2K wabbit. They have spread all the way down to the southern tip of Florida and are piling up against the sea walls. Southern Florida's chad-filled land is now 850 feet above sea level and rising, like the clifts of Dover.

My plea for help from you is to give me a solution to the chad invasion by answering the following question: Will Justice Scalia ever retract his order to his Supreme Court brethren and nullify Bush's election and place Al Gore in the presidential office?

BumbleBeeBoogie

Dear Gus
The pheasant came back to my garden today, so do you think this is a sign that he/she is willing to give me another chance?

Signed
Optimistic in Canada

I'll answer BBB's question first since there was a considerable amount of time and effort involved in the process.

I can't help you, BBB. You are residing in a fantasy world. I help people that dwell in the real world, have real issues and concerns, and look for plausible solutions to everyday problems.

Your question was...



Time will tell. When you hear the thundering sounds of millions of flapping wings and the sun is blotted out from the passing flock of pigs, then perhaps you will find your answer.

Look to the skies, my friend. Look to the skies.

Montana is in trouble and asked this question...



Another chance at what? Are you still seeking to converse with this bird, Montana? If so, then yes, go to the bird. Talk to that bird, Montana. Empty your soul. I see beautiful things happening here. I sincerely believe you will finally find the true happiness that has eluded you for so long.

Now go, Montana, go. Fly like the wind.


Your bird awaits.