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What does the poem sound like?

 
 
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 04:38 pm
Tell me with your intuition. Does the poem sound fine? Or so-so? Or crappy?

TIA.

FROM THE HEART

I wanted to make you smile
I could of said I'll die for you
Or walk a thousand miles
That may sound poetic
But never really sincere
It's hard to put into words
What I feel "in here"
"In here" is where you are
You've been there from the start
You alone and no one else
Buried deep inside my heart.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 955 • Replies: 7
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 04:50 pm
Just one comment:

"could of" is wrong, especially in written form. It's the corruption of "could've".
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Wy
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 07:22 pm
My thought exactly -- however, I'd like to clarify a bit and mention that the contraction comes from "could have". You see the same kind of thing with would have, should have, etc.

Also, I think the poem is very sweet.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 07:35 pm
Yep, I agree, "could have" is just fine, you don't really need a contraction. Just fix that, and it is a very touching poem indeed.
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oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 09:04 pm
Ah, what you thought is different to my original guess, in which I secrectly assumed "could of" is a slang usage for "could have" that sweeps out the traditional grammar rule you guys emphasized in here -- that is, I guessed the usage works in poem (my appreciatory skill for poems is too weak Embarrassed )

Anyways, thanks for reply.
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 09:08 pm
Thing is, the real corruption is from "could have" to "could've". It's a common if not pretty contraction.

ESL students frequently misunderstand it as "could of" but despite the sound no native speaker is really saying that.
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oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 11:32 pm
Craven de Kere wrote:
Thing is, the real corruption is from "could have" to "could've". It's a common if not pretty contraction.

ESL students frequently misunderstand it as "could of" but despite the sound no native speaker is really saying that.


Oh God, I've seen many native English speakers saying so -- "could of", even once I particularly asked an administrator of a big forum why he used "could of" when he posted his important thread in his front page -- he was a native English speaker. And those Americans, Brits, Aussies, Canadians etc. in his forum are used to the usage "could of". And who do you guess wrote the poem above? A native Brit, not me -- I cannot write that wonderful poem for the present at all.
But in my mind I accept the could have is normal which should be put in first place when writing.
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Wy
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Oct, 2003 07:58 pm
OristarA is right -- "could of" is rampant in America! I think it's a misunderstanding because the pronounciation is so close to "could've"... but it's one of those things that's just wrong!

No matter how many people do it!
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