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Lost in Relationships

 
 
Reply Tue 26 Jan, 2010 10:33 am
Ok... I have a new girlfriend and we have been goin out for about a coulpe week and both of us have never felt the way we feel for eachother before. An now she is askin if we can be friends for a little while, because she is going through difficult stuff right now. And what i don't get is isn't that wat a boyfriend is there for to comfort and help her through times like this??? But i have told her that i will wait as long as it takes. But what else can i do to show her how i feel or somethin like that....
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 855 • Replies: 8
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AbbieMcKenley
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jan, 2010 10:42 am
@bulldog-2010,
Quote:
isn't that wat a boyfriend is there for to comfort and help her through times like this


Yes it is, but you can still do that. This way, she doesn't need to worry about your relationship on top of other things, relationships are a commitment, she clearly doesn't feel ready to start something like that right now, however, that doesn't mean she doesn't want to eventually.

You can still be there for her, i'm sure she'll appreciate it. Having someone to ring up and moan to means a lot when things get tough. Just being there will say everything.

A-M
bulldog-2010
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jan, 2010 10:44 am
@AbbieMcKenley,
ok buth the thing is i don't want to become one of the "just Friends" do u know what i mean??
AbbieMcKenley
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jan, 2010 10:49 am
@bulldog-2010,
Yeah, I get that.

Clearly, i've no idea what's going on in her life at the moment, but if it's something thats likely to be over soonish, then i suppose you just need to stick it out, if you mean that much to each other, it shouldn't be too hard to pick it up where you left it right?

If it's a long term problem, well, sucks.
Maybe this just isn't the time? Or when the time comes then you can see where it goes.

If you stick as friends, I guess it's not the end of the world right?

Good luck either way.

Smile

A-M
bulldog-2010
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jan, 2010 10:53 am
@AbbieMcKenley,
Her brother just got shiped out overseas... and her so called friends are keeping watch over the both of us to see weather one of us will screw up and i know that is a big part of it...
AbbieMcKenley
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jan, 2010 10:58 am
@bulldog-2010,
Quote:
Her brother just got shiped out overseas...
Miliary, or just some randomly...? Smile

Quote:
Her brother just got shiped out overseas... and her so called friends are keeping watch over the both of us to see weather one of us will screw up and i know that is a big part of it...


Now I see what you mean about the sticking as friends... Neutral
When she's had time to settle down without her brother, perhaps you could talk to her, on her own, who knows where, be creative, and explain to her that you understand about her "friends" but you think that you two can really work out, see how that goes, if it's still a no-no, i guess you've got to let it go, maybe pick it up when she learns to make decisions without her friends ?
Rolling Eyes

A-M
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BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jan, 2010 01:12 pm
@bulldog-2010,
Be very careful with this just friends nonsense as I think that every good guy in the world had ended up at some time or other being used by some female with that line.

Act as a friend to her only if that is all she wish for but do not allow her to place the burdens/duties of a boyfriend on you without being her boyfriend. Keep looking for a girl that will be more then a friend also and let her know that you are so looking.

There is nothing like the feelings of having a young lady you been chasing for a prolong period ending up picking a bum who does nothing for her over you and they will do that from time to time if they can get away with it.
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sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Jan, 2010 05:59 pm
Give her space and time.

Perhaps the kind of relationship YOU want is more intense than she is ready for.

Tell her you are one-day-at-a-time guy and you are there for her while she goes thru whatever she has to.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Jan, 2010 06:47 pm
@sullyfish6,
Quote:
Tell her you are one-day-at-a-time guy and you are there for her while she goes thru whatever she has to.


And she will then find some loser to have a relationship with. He can move on now or laster...............

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