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Fri 22 Jan, 2010 07:44 am
I am dating my friend for more than a year now, he is divorced with a three year old daugther. I am only now allowed after a year so see her under his parents supervision ......
I live with these things coz I really do love him and just wants to do what ever is the best for the little girl.
But what drives me insane is the fact that she thinks she has the right to sms/phone everyday whole day coz it is "child related" .... how do a person deal with this, am I being silly for getting upset??
@Susana1,
Yeah, it is foolish to get upset, since you can't do anything about it. Added to that is the possibility that this woman is hoping to upset you. Don't give her the satisfaction.
@Setanta,
I know but a woman can only take so much. I have followed all the rules ... never said anything just to keep the peace. At what point do you draw the line. But I know you are right !! Just need to bitch about it I guess
@Susana1,
You are not (yet) a stepmom to this child. The issue is between your bf and his ex as parents of the child. Keep your cool and don't do anything that negatively impacts your bf and his relationship with his child. There is not a winning line here that involves you taking on this woman.
@Susana1,
There's nothing wrong with with just bitching, so don't worry about that. This is a situation in which you are powerless, you can't draw a line. If you love this guy, you're just going to have to put up with. She's playing games--pity her for that. She's using a child cynically to play her games--despise her for that. You're just going to have to put up with it. Never hesitate, though, to come here to bitch about it.
How long has he been divorced?
Where you in the mix during the divorce (cause of it?)
Once a person has a child with another, there is a tie that stays connected. They still have issues. Yes, she may be needlessly contacting him, but he does have the power to limit that. Why isn't he putting some kind of structure around how many times they talk?
One year is not long. For you to assume that you can step into any role with his child at this time is not reasonable. Your relationship is with him, not the child.
Sorry to be so harsh, but I'm being real.
@sullyfish6,
No, you not harsh, maybe needed to hear that. I agree with you totally where the child is concerned. I have no problem with that and I try not to put my 10cent in there ... I know it is not my place! I just sometimes have a hard time about the x .... I do not give him a hard time about it .. i come here and moan...i mean I can not tell him that she not allowed to phone on "my time". He goes to his dauther 2 nights of the week and then he has her on saterdays, the two of them spends it at his parents house and sleep over. So sometimes I feel like she can just try and consider me too ... even if it is hard
@Setanta,
thanks for listerning. it helps ....