Family problem

Hello vrichard,
what obligation does your husband have to pay your nephews pawn ticket in the first place?
The pawn shop changed its policies, that's not your husband's fault, so why
should he take responsibility for something that wasn't his to begin with?

Welcome to A2k! I'm with Jane. This is all your nephew's doing. Your husband is under no obligation to do anything for him, including getting his stuff out of hock.

I'm not sure of all of the byplay, here.

Did your nephew give your husband the money, or was your husband paying for it out of ya'll's money? You're husband talked with your nephew and made an agreement to get the item from the pawnbroker?

Did your husband go to pay the pawn ticket late? After the date the penalty would have been added?

Based on what you've said here, your nephew is definitely guilty of not providing accurate information. IMO, it's up to him to really understand the rules when he decides to pawn something.

I know from nothing about pawn shop policies. What they can do pawned merchandise, and when they can do it is usually state regulated.

How do you figure he" took responsiblity for it"?

Here's what it is; husband has paid this pawn monthly for about 4 months after nephew moved 250 miles away; he did NOT give any money for this. He talked directly to my husband who agreed to pay this. Husband went to pawn shop they said "we used to just add a penalty but we changed our policies and we only give you a few days (like 5) and then we sell the item". Why do I feel bad? My nephew has been struggling, finally starting to get his feet on the ground, and his biggest asset just evaporated. I really do know it's nephew's fault; AND yet--we have so much and he has so little by comparison, this is devastating for him. I really appreciate the input from everyone on my problem!

I think you can take two approaches. The one I recommend is to do nothing. Your nephew made some bad decisions and there are consequences to that. You should consider whether and how much to help your nephew as a completely separate decision, not at all related to the pawn shop situation. The second approach (that I do not recommend) is to take on some of the blame for the loss and make financial restitution. To me this encourages your nephew to blame others for his mistakes.

I agree with engineer, if you really want to help your nephew get back on his
feet, then have a bank account for him and deposit some money there for rainy days. These funds should be only given to him when he's in dire need of it -
a cushion so to speak. Hopefully, he'll learn to live within his means in the
future and keep the emergency funds in the bank.

I don't think it's pertinent what financial state you're in - that's completely irrelevant to the fact that your husband volunteered to help nephew out by paying the pawn fees for four months and the fact that your nephew is struggling. He was doing him a favour. Your nephew's finances are his own problem, not yours.

I wouldn't be setting up a bank account for him or replacing the item.

It belonged to your nephew and he pawned it. That's just the way it goes and we learn from these things. By relying on his uncle, he abrogated his responsibility to the item.

Do you feel guilty for what you have?