5
   

Please help scrutinize my wedding invitation wording

 
 
ebadudu
 
Reply Mon 21 Dec, 2009 09:47 pm
I'm currently trying to the find the best wording to put on my invitations. I feel somethings are missing with this one. Can you please suggest fixes to the following:

He asked, and she said yes
or was it the other way around?
However it happened
Josh Smith
And
Beth Hadley
request the pleasure of your company
as they smile, laugh, cry, eat,
and laugh some more
friday, the first of april
two thousand ten
promptly at five o’clock in the evening
Colisium Church
1920 Yonge Street
Toronto, Ontario

Reception immediately following the ceremony

Thanks.
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 3,582 • Replies: 12
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OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Dec, 2009 10:42 pm
@ebadudu,
Welcome to A2K!

He asked, and she said yes.
Or was it the other way around?
Whichever, doesn't matter:
Their soul mates have been found!

Josh Smith
And
Beth Hadley
Respectfully request the pleasure
of your company as they laugh, cry, smile, eat,
and laugh some more!
This momentous event is scheduled for
Friday, April Second, in the
Two Thousand Tenth year of our Lord.
Festivities begin promptly at five o’clock
At the Colisium(Sp?) Church
1920 Yonge(Sp) Street
Toronto, Ontario

Reception immediately following the ceremony!

Please R.S.V.P., A.S.A.P.!

Better word-smiths should be along shortly!
0 Replies
 
Miss L Toad
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Dec, 2009 10:50 pm
@ebadudu,
i'd spell it coliseum

ditch your opening joke

delete the 'some more' and 'promptly'

use 2010

april fools day huh

say that the reception is in the building

and go buy a wedding invitation card and plagiarise it

0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 Dec, 2009 11:15 pm
No need to buy something to plagiarizer, just use Google to view samples.

http://www.google.com/search?q=wedding+invitation+wording&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 10:14 am
@Butrflynet,
I think it's 'colosseum' - better check the actual church's spelling.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 11:01 am
@ebadudu,
I actually like Bills, Remember, its a wedding, sappy is good when we talk about weddings.
PS, why's everybody crying?
0 Replies
 
mm25075
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 11:34 am
Congratulations and welcome ot A2K!

The invitation wording should match the formality of the wedding. From the way the wording sounds, it is a casual affair. Are you providing an additional insert which addresses the reception after?

You may want to find a specific site that provides assistance with wedding etiquette and formalities just to be on the safe side. http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf is one of my favs and has a ton of helpful people who will be sure it's done within accepted wedding contraints.

Good luck to you and your beloved!

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 11:35 am
@ossobuco,
Since there doesn't appear to actually be a church at that location (dental office and spa are there), I don't think we need to worry about the spelling.

I like oBill's take on the wording of the invite.




(and yes, there are Yonge Streets all over Ontario - some kinda General or something, need to ask Set about that)
ebadudu
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 05:46 pm
@ehBeth,
That's not the actually address. I changed the names, location and address.

The actually wedding/reception will be going on in a banquet hall.

I like OBill's suggestion as well, the first part is too sappy for me (I'm the groom).
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 05:52 pm
@ebadudu,
ha!

I've spent a far bit of time near that Yonge Street address, so it was quite a shock that I might have missed a church on the same floor as the dentist's office Wink
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 05:54 pm
@ebadudu,
The one thing I'd do is remove all of the exclamation points. Seems a bit too giddy to me. mebbe I'm just old and crusty
OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Dec, 2009 07:24 pm
@ehBeth,
No need to be old and crusty; I famously use too many exclamation points!
0 Replies
 
beautyfrist77
 
  0  
Reply Mon 20 Dec, 2010 01:35 am
@ebadudu,
Josh Smith
And
Beth Hadley
Respectfully request the pleasure
of your company as they laugh, cry, smile, eat,
and laugh some more!
This momentous event is scheduled for
Friday, April Second, in the
Two Thousand Tenth year of our Lord.
Festivities begin promptly at five o’clock
At the Colisium(Sp?) Church
1920 Yonge(Sp) Street
Toronto, Ontario
0 Replies
 
 

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