20
   

You've talked to a friend about A2K ... they're interested ... ..

 
 
msolga
 
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:10 am
... & tell you they'd like to become involved, too.

This happened to me on the weekend and ... & my initial reaction (which I kept to myself) was that I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable about the idea. Even though I'm very fond of the friend. Then I wondered if I was being rather mean-spirited.

So I'd be interested in hearing your views on this.

I know there are A2Kers who've joined on the recommendation of already involved friends.

I know there are A2Kers who a related to other A2Kers.

Then there's A2K couples ....

Doesn't seem to be a problem for these folk.

So if someone asked you, what would your response be & why?

`
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:18 am
@msolga,
I think my initial response was because I felt as though I'd feel less constrained to talk about anything & everything if there wasn't someone who knew me pretty well on board as well. For example, there might be some things I'd be happier not discussing with them ...
dlowan
 
  3  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:29 am
@msolga,
Oh my, I completely understand!

I am highly allergic to any real life friends coming here!!!!!


Fortunately, they are too!!! They (if I let drop anything) think this sort of thing is unutterably pathetic.


This is my own private space and I do NOT want worlds colliding!!!!!!!


If your friend goes ahead, can you guys agree to some ground rules re privacy etc.?

Francis
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:33 am
@dlowan,
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_atACVfI9DQo/SFtRn9FqyVI/AAAAAAAAABQ/iMh_rFgSaOI/s400/See-Speak-Hear-Monkey-.jpg
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:33 am
@msolga,
How can I put this? There are very close friends. There are friends you have a more casual relationship with. There are work colleagues. There are people you know through organizations you belong to. Then there are people you've "known" online, for years & years. I don't think it's necessary for people in those various groups to cross lines, to "inter-mingle", so to speak. Maybe the nature of these different relationships are fine, just the way they are.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:35 am
@dlowan,
Ah. "Worlds colliding", Deb.
Yes, that's what concerns me, too.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:44 am
Of course. I don't tell everyone about a2k, because then I could not be so open on here.
msolga
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:44 am
A few other things I'd be interested in pursuing, as part of this discussion, if any of you are interested ...

How private do you consider your online involvement to be? Are you comfortable with folk from your "real life" scrutinizing your online activities?

Have you ever felt it was a mistake after a friend has joined an online forum that you're a member of. Why? (I realize there might be folk here who can't answer that question, for obvious reasons. Wink
Thomas
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:46 am
@msolga,
msolga wrote:
This happened to me on the weekend and ... & my initial reaction (which I kept to myself) was that I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable about the idea. Even though I'm very fond of the friend. Then I wondered if I was being rather mean-spirited.

No, you're not mean-spirited. At least no more mean-spirited as I was when I let family members "friend me" on Facebook. I wasn't comfortabe with my worlds colliding either, and still haven't joined the "A2K" group on Facebook because I'm not overly keen on them finding me here.

That said, nothing uncomfortable has happened yet. And I can handle the occasional question like, "who are all those women writing into your Facebook threads?"

msolga wrote:
So if someone asked you, what would your response be & why?

Just give her the URL, invite her to look around, and give me a holler when you get sick of her. I'll hit on her in the sleaziest way I can; maybe that will chase her off again. (Unless she finds this thread first ....)
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:47 am
@msolga,
It's probably way less private than I imagine....but I am likely fairly safe from friends because of the afore-mentioned contempt for this kind of activity.
0 Replies
 
Gala
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:48 am
@msolga,
If and when I do mention able2know, it's because of some of the more innane postings, like kickycan's high drama (I'm still scratching my head over the shower curtain) or bi-polar bear's obessesion with his shlong. Ha. That's enough to keep anyone from even looking into it.

No, I don't want friends on this, it's my world, where I can come and go as I please as well as well as shut it out of my mind when I want. If friends are on it, it's a constant reminder of what? Something imposed on me instead of it being a choice.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:48 am
@edgarblythe,
Quote:
Of course. I don't tell everyone about a2k, because then I could not be so open on here.


Interesting, edgar. I feel pretty much the same. It's not as though I'm all that much different online than in my "real" life. The things I say are probably not all that much different, so I guess there'd be few surprises .... But all the same, the idea makes me feel uncomfortable.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:49 am
@Thomas,
They're ok with rabbits talking to you on Facebook then?
Thomas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:51 am
@dlowan,
I suppose they disapprove of the rabbits' smoking. It sets a bad example. Otherwise, no problem.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:51 am
@dlowan,
Quote:
If your friend goes ahead, can you guys agree to some ground rules re privacy etc.?


No, the discussion didn't get that far, Deb. I didn't really encourage the idea.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:51 am
@msolga,
Can you prevent it Msolga?
Gala
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:52 am
@msolga,
I can answer this comfortably. I don't belong to any of the social networks. I don't involove family members or friends in any mutual online stuff. My online life is limited mostly because I don't think online socializing is very interesting in the sense of pursuing real life activities. It's a great time filler-upper, though.

One more thing, no it's not mean-spirited of you to not want them to come here. I think all friendship's are a balancing act. That you're feeling uncomfortable for having mentioned it to them says a lot about following your instincts. I wonder if you can somehow drop the subject entirely and maybe they'll forget you ever mentioned it?
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:59 am
@dlowan,
Quote:
Can you prevent it Msolga?


Well I didn't actually mention the name of the forum, Deb! Embarrassed

I was talking (with great animation! Very Happy ) about a topic that was under discussion here, at the time. It's probably a good idea not to mention the name of the forum? Wink
dlowan
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 06:59 am
@msolga,
Oh my yes!!!



I keep wanting to demur about where I heard a particular argument, or analysis when I discuss stuff!
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Dec, 2009 07:01 am
@dlowan,
I'm interested in this too.

Ooh it's snowing!!!! Sorry just noticed.

Anyway... yes, I remain purposely vague about A2K if it comes up, which is not often. After a surprise run-in with my mom (Abuzz came up and I thought that even if she checked she wouldn't be able to find ME in the haystack -- my username has nothing to do with my real name -- but one of my threads happened to be featured that day and included the fact that I was deaf and the age of my daughter, and she figured it out), I've only written things I'd be comfortable with anyone reading. Which has been kind of annoying really but I'm used to it.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

How to use the new able2know - Discussion by Craven de Kere
New A2K feature requests. - Discussion by DrewDad
I'm the developer - Discussion by Nick Ashley
JIM NABORS WAS GOY? - Question by farmerman
A2K censors tags? - Discussion by hingehead
New A2K Bugs - Discussion by sozobe
New A2K annoyances - Discussion by sozobe
The a2k world is changing 3: about voting - Discussion by Craven de Kere
LOST & MISPLACED A2K people. - Discussion by msolga
Welcome to the 'New' My Posts - Discussion by Nick Ashley
The "I get folksonomy" club - Discussion by Robert Gentel
 
  1. Forums
  2. » You've talked to a friend about A2K ... they're interested ... ..
Copyright © 2020 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 07/03/2020 at 02:52:44