You've talked to a friend about A2K ... they're interested ... ..

I understand your concerns, msolga. I'm still amazed that djjd was generous enough to share this forum with me. I don't discuss A2K by name with anyone.

Hey MzOlga

I have two real life friends who knew about A2K because I was very open to them about posting here when I felt I couldn't talk out loud at home. One of them only ever goes on one thread and she reads between my lines and knows when she needs to call me, the other friend posts here regularly and has her own established identity and threads on A2K after she lost her husband, and couldn't talk out loud either.

One other person knows the name of the forum and he chooses not to come here (maybe he does, or doesn't, I wouldn't know) but I didn't try to hide it from him - however....

I would prefer him not to be here in that this is where I talk and it's my private space - I hope he would respect that. I would not change the way I talk or whom I talk to even if he was looking. If he chose to participate - well, I would lose my comfort zone.

Another friend whom I'm very close to... I have never told her the forum name because she has a relationship with my eldest son - so, I wouldn't ever wish her to know my feelings about some things - I wouldn't risk telling her about A2K because she may read things that she'd hurt about.

If any of my family or acquaintances came here and listened to me or ever commented on my threads, I think I would have to leave A2K. It's the only place that I've got a comfort zone to be me - being that I'm hermit like anyhoo, I would not wish anyone in "real" life invading my life here. A virtual world is safer to me than my real world.

Of course, my youngest son is very much part of the forum in the respect he has met people here - I wouldn't wish him to participate here either, or read a particular thread, but, I know one day that may happen if he gets curious as he gets older. He completely respects that I talk here all the time and knows that the folk I know here are more my every day life, unlike the people I have in real life who haven't a clue who I am, despite knowing me my whole life.

I guess it depends on what level you talk on the forum. If you wish to talk openly about private issues (which of course, being on the www makes them public knoweldge ) then ... maybe keep the forum name to yourself. Go with your gut instinct, I reckon gal.

I'm prolly not a good person to answer here - I have very little trust in real life and I trust rarely, so I choose not to let anyone in the real world know what I'm thinking or feeling about things. I have a few folk here who I will PM/email, who I've met and who I would wish to meet in the future - strangely, I trust them more than real life folk.

Oh, got too caught up in the snow and missed this response.

Glad that the name wasn't mentioned. Can still be awkward if the friend then ASKS about the name, though, since the rest has been discussed. My mom keeps asking about A2K and I won't tell her, though it's trivial for her to search my username but she knows I'd prefer she not.

When I talk about A2K stuff, I've learned to say "this friend of mine told me..."

These responses have been really good & useful so far. Thanks, all.

Please carry on discussing by all means. I'm really interested in your views on this. (But I must opt out for a bit as I'm getting my tax stuff together for my consultant. Appointment tomorrow. And it's getting late here.)

Another thing that I'm wondering: is it appropriate for a friend to to ask to join an online forum which you're obviously pretty involved in? What are your thoughts?

OK. Back later.

I think it's minimally OK -- if you've mentioned it, that kind of opens the door, even if you wish you hadn't -- but I think it's better if the friend recognizes your reticence and backs off.

Do you guys watch Seinfeld? That's where the "worlds collide" thing comes from and can be good shorthand.

A fairly recent ex (when he was still a currrent) wanted to join......and I actually said no.

It was very hard to do, and I felt awful...but I did it.

I think it's appropriate for the friend to ask; it's also appropriate for you not to tell if you prefer not to.

Watch it? It's a bible!!! It deals so well with so many social dilemmas!

Ok to ask?

That's a toughie.

I mean, they get points for ASKING, at least.

I think it depends on the vibe they get from you. And, if you were happy for them to join, you'd likely have already suggested it.

i've told lots of folks about this place, even showed them threads, pictures, but most of the folks are more interested in facebook and before that msn or aim or some such, things i never got into, well facebook sort of, but msn or aim move to fast for me, i like the pace of a message board better

plus even my most outrageous comments or attitudes have been well known to friends or work mates (i've been luck enough to not have worked in any pc environments so far, say what you want when you want to whom you want, but be prepared to get the same back)

There's a reunion of sorts in the current season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. You want to watch out for it when they show it in Ozzieland.

Indeed!

I meant msolga and her friend though -- if they've both watched it, they'd get it (very useful reference), but might be an unfamiliar reference to them.

I have these old friends (at least two come to mind) who were great friends when they were geographically close to me, and are great friends again when we visit, but the whole email thing doesn't seem to work -- they're digressive, free-associate-y people, and the conversations we'd have in person were very A2K-ish. I keep coming close to inviting them -- it'd be a better way to stay in touch, plus they're awesome and would both be a big asset to A2K I think -- but backing off.

i'm just glad it didn't turn out to be a major bust, but i knew there were folks on here you'd like and who would like you

And how! Thanks for bringing in Tai Chi,djjd.

I absolutely would never invite anyone I knew to join this forum.
I'm not so much worried about what they would read here from me as what
they might write about me. I'm pretty open about myself, but there are some
circles I'd rather not have instersect.

oooh, now i'm curious

what dark secrets is george hiding?

i'm guessing he shot a man in reno, just to watch him die

I know what the Wabbit means about one's acquaintance finding this sort of thing contemptible. I've run into that response. I doesn't really bother me, because i have those friends for different reasons than i have my friends here. I think it is better to make friends with people here and then to meet them in real life, because most of problems just go away on their own.

As for the rest of them, i don't mind if they disdain this activity. After all, i'm not interested in going to the tavern with them, so it balances out . . .

By the way, on those occasions upon which i have introduced other people who were already a part of my acquaintance to this site, they haven't seemed to be interested anyway.

And they are right of course. You people from the internet are all psychos, after all.

Nothing glamorous or exciting, I assure you.