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Tue 1 Dec, 2009 10:51 am
We just had our first baby, my wife hasn't been able to leave the house since the birth due to stitches (that would give anyone the blues) but she's now becoming quieter and quieter by the day, crying on the phone to me when I'm at work but not saying anything, she won't let me pick up the baby, watches TV all day and night and when I try to talk to her she just seems disinterested and vacant. Help please! I don't sleep because I'm worried about her so I'm getting to the point I can't find the positive energy she needs to get back on track.... What do I do? And if you say "talk to her" fine... but you'd better have suggestions...
@bats-intheatic,
I've never had a baby so I can't speak to your situation but I think a call to her doctor might be in order.
I don't think her behavior is too abnormal though most mother are happy even when exhausted.
@bats-intheatic,
How long has it been since the baby was born?
You're at work -- is anyone there or around during the day to help out?
I agree that this might be postnatal depression and that a call to the doc is in order. If it's really recent though and you're back at work immediately, it might not be a chemical imbalance thing but circumstantial, though. My husband was home for a while after the baby was born and without him there I would've been significantly more overwhelmed than I was (and that was pretty darn overwhelmed).
@bats-intheatic,
Quote:Baby Blues:
Many new mothers are surprised at how weak, alone, and upset they feel after giving birth. Their feelings do not seem to match the feelings they thought they would have. They wonder, “What have I got to be depressed about?” They fear that these feelings mean that they are bad mothers.
In fact, about 70"80% of women have baby blues after childbirth. About 2"3 days after birth, they begin to feel depressed, anxious, and upset. For no clear reason, they may feel angry with the new baby, their partners, or their other children. They may also:
cry for no clear reason
have trouble sleeping, eating, and making choices
almost always question whether they can handle caring for a baby
These feelings may come and go in the first few days after childbirth. The baby blues often go away in a few hours or a week or so without treatment.
Quote:When to Suspect Postpartum Depression:
A new mother may be developing"or already have"postpartum depression if she has any of the following signs or symptoms:
The baby blues do not start to fade after about 1 week, or if the feelings get worse.
Strong feelings of depression and anger come 1"2 months after childbirth.
Feelings of sadness, doubt, guilt, or helplessness seem to increase each week and get in the way of normal functions.
She is not able to care for herself or her baby.
She has trouble doing tasks at home or on the job.
Her appetite changes.
Things that used to bring her pleasure no longer do.
Concern and worry about the baby are too intense, or interest in the baby is lacking.
Anxiety or panic attacks occur. She may be afraid to be left alone in the house with the baby.
She fears harming the baby. These feelings are almost never acted on by women with postpartum depression, but they can be scary. These feelings may lead to guilt, which makes the depression worse.
She has thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
A new mother having any of these signs or symtpoms should take steps right away to get help.
http://www.acog.org/publications/patient_education/bp091.cfm
If you suspect postpartem depression and this list of symptoms is relevant to her situation, you should get her to see her doctor as soon as possible.
@bats-intheatic,
This sounds quite worrying.
She needs an assessment for post natal depression urgently.
@dlowan,
dlowan knows what she is talking about.
Make an appointment for both of you with her doctor.
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