Why does my ex-fiancee periodically contact me and then dissapear?

Are asking why he contacts you or why he disappears?

You're the one who broke it off --- he's never gotten over you completely. He wants to make sure you're still ok, but it's too painful/difficult for him to have continuous contact.

Wild guess on my part, of course, but that's what my crystal ball says.

If you agreed to be friends, why is it unusual for him to periodically check in to see how you are doing? I call my old high school girl friend about once a year to exchange family stories just like I do with my other high school buddies. It's not a big deal unless there is something else you aren't telling us. What were these "weird questions"?

JDB:
You've nailed it. As you usually do.

Men,
or at least the ones I have known,
get up to pee in the middle of the night.
They go to the jon,
turn the lights on and have a look at themselves in the mirror.
It is at that point that all sense
of why they are up in the middle of the night leaves them
and they get a thought.

It's a small passing "Hey" from somewhere deep in their brain.

Hey, I wonder how ____ is.
Hey, I wonder if she thinks of me now and then.

Hey, what the **** was I thinking when I let her go?

It is at that point that from somewhere out of sight comes another voice:
"___________ , are you okay, sweetie?"

Oh yeah, they say, and they pee and go back to bed.

But, most times, after they have this experience three or four times, they end up trying to find ____.
Just to see if she's okay.
because
if ___ is okay...
the neverending emptiness and pain

stops

only for a couple of moments,

but

that's enough
to keep the big guy
(fragile as a eggshell)
(tender to the touch)
from crying on his way to work on Monday.

( don't you know what you do
when you do
what you do
what you do
to those who loved you?)

Nevermind.
Joe( no one does.)Nation

JPB & Joe...You guys are great.

A long time ago, this guy gave you a piece of his heart. He's checking up on it.

Sometimes we do this to see if a door is still open. But that's not the only reason we do it.
Sometimes it's to gauge whether we've taken the right road in life.
Other times, we want to see if it's possible to still feel the way we used to.
And occasionally, we just want to make sure that person is still there, and is happy.

Right, Eva.

I do not know about others but I find it sad that once a woman was the center of my life and now I do not know even if she is still alive.

I am more then happy and in love with my wife but that feeling hit me from time to time over 30 plus years.

If I knew her email I more then likely would drop her a note for the same reasons that mariadomenica ex had given her a call every once in a blue moon.

Maybe both. I don't at all have a problem being contacted though this time it felt like a punch in the heart ...maybe because of the weird questions? Hard to explain the nature of them- like an interogation - but not waiting to hear the answers - sort of finished the sentences. Sends me some family pics, says it's nice to hear my voice, and then *poof*

You could be right though - a mutual friend showed up at my house 8 years ago. He said my Ex wasn't over me and was having problems in his marriage - which is exactly why I didn't contact him - didn't want to interfere.

And nothing changes about the situation - could not have worked out - true love does not conquer all.

Thank you for your insight.

weird questions = hard to explain - spotted off a mangled version of my life that he must have gotten through the telephone gossip game. Something about my uncle who doted on me dying and I moved into the house he bought? I can't even figure out what nugget of my life this started out as. Sort of stated this as a series of questions, then when I tried to respond he cut me off, said it was good to hear my voice and he had to go. Sounded very upbeat like it wasn't true upbeat. That's what I call weird questions.

weird questions = hard to explain - spouted off a mangled version of my life that he must have gotten through the telephone gossip game. Something about my uncle who doted on me dying and I moved into the house he bought? I can't even figure out what nugget of my life this started out as. Sort of stated this as a series of questions, then when I tried to respond he cut me off, said it was good to hear my voice and he had to go. Sounded very upbeat like it wasn't true upbeat. That's what I call weird questions.

Sounds awkward all the way around. He probably called with good intentions but couldn't pull it off. Maybe he's living this song: Jim Croce - Operator

Holy cow - are you a writer? This thought did not even cross my mind - I must be blind.

Joe is very good with words but sometimes he is shy enough as to delete his own clear and elaborated prose..

hmmm - I could see that. I was always his ambassador at school

I think it's lovely...

Yes, he is a writer.

(Don't believe him if he denies it.)