Please advice!

This is about my sister in law who has been married to my brother a year ago. I had known her for couple of years since her parents became our family friends. We in fact became good friends to the extent where she revealed her feelings about my brother, and I had helped them to get together since she was such a nice and friendly person. However, after she and my brother got together, she started to grow distant with me. She spend time only with my brother even when I was around, and I felt that the friendship that we had seemed to wear out.

First I thought I was feeling this because I was getting jealous of her, so I overlooked how she treated me and gave her more time and space with my brother. Later on I realized that she used me to win over my brother and she pretends to be like my own sister in front of others.

After they got married they migrated to USA since my brother worked there and she attended to a university. A month after their marriage I learnt that she often quarrels and argues with my brother and that he’s not too happy with his marriage. I also learnt from my brother that she dislikes me and the rest of our family since she’s jealous that my brother would be too attached even after they got married.

When our family planned to visit my brother at USA, she has freaked out and quarreled with my brother asking him to tell us not to come. When she realized that her attempts are futile, she had arranged a ticket to fly back home with the excuse of getting her tooth operated. Even being back at home, she quarreled with my brother asking him to come to her even when she knows that we’re there with him. She made such a fuss everyday phoning him and yelling at him saying that he’s not considerate enough at her. Even if we knew that she doesn’t like us she acts very innocent and kind in front of my parents and us as if nothing has happened.

Even though I act okay when I’m with her, I keep my distance with her since I don’t want to face any ugly situation. But my mother always interacts with them, and she has always been the patient one to handle her, however she picks every little word my mother says and twist them and make a story out of it and quarrels with my brother.

Lately, I’ve been looking for options to study abroad, and my brother had urged me to apply to a university where he lives. Even though I quite disliked the idea, my parents also wanted me to go to my brother than anywhere else in the world. So I applied to the same university which my sister-in-law attended and received the acceptance. She’s freaked out again and she’s doing everything that she can to stop me coming to them. Apart from the natural arguments with my brother, she even contacted me lot of times and indirectly gave me thousand and one reasons to make me not come there. She said all of this cleverly saying that she’s concerned about my future and this is for my own good, and that it has never been her intention to stop me coming to them. Even though I knew of her intentions I never told her to butt out and never said anything nasty back at her.

However, after she heard that I got accepted to the uni and that I have made the decision to come the situation has grown intense. She had even gone to her parents to influence ours to make me stop. This had blown off the limits of my parents, and they talked to my brother regarding this. My parents wanted me to stay somewhere else even though I have never been alone like that. He told that he has made it very clear to my sister-in-law that I will not be staying anywhere else than at his place and that he’s sticking with his decision and asked my parents to act cool.

I think she’s very unfair because when her only brother was looking for options to go abroad my parents had suggested them to send him to where my brother lives, and my brother has looked after him and given him shelter even before marrying my sister-in-law. Even now her brother lives at my brother’s house going to the same university which my sister-in- law attends. Plus, I’m not being a burden to them financially since my parents are supporting me.

My mother has talked very openly regarding this with my sister-in- law and told her that she’s acting very selfish, and then my sister-in-law had told my mother that it’s okay with her in me coming to stay with them. Even though she has agreed we all know that she’s not okay, and ever since she hasn’t talked with me. My father suggested for me to live somewhere else but that would be too expensive even if he doesn’t mind. My brother don’t want me to live anywhere else than at his place, according to him, she seems to be insecure over everyone that connects with my brother even if they are his close friends. He said that at first she takes everything as a threat and cool off when she doesn’t see any harm in it. So eventually she will see no harm from me once I stay with them and would cool off. But I’m scared things would go out of hand and it would create us to fight. I want things to be normal and I am willing to forget and forgive her, but I wonder whether she might keep on doing these stuff and make my life miserable. I am distressed should I go to my brother or live somewhere else? How should I handle this situation?